To The Sick SOB In The Other Stall

You can tell a lot about someone by what they do in a bathroom stall. Sometimes it's the person who used the same stall before me, sometimes it's the person in the stall next to me. In any event, it seems like the toilet is a strange window into the sick and twisted world of other people. You probably know these people. Feel free to add your own.

Mr. Flushy - Mr. Flushy sits in the stall next to me. He flushes the toilet several times before sitting down. Once he sits down, he flushes the toilet repeatedly. I lose track after about the twentieth flush. At first, it's kind of funny. Then it get kind of creepy. Then I get angry. It's arsehats like these that contribute to the water shortage. I feel like shouting "Hey, you! Arsehat! You just wasted 100 gallons of water!!!" What the hell??? Is the stink of one ball of poo so bad you have to immediately flush it away before any others fall? Is this a strange fixation you never got over as a child? Is it a hint that I need to do a courtesy flush? What? How many thousands of gallons a week are literally wasted on your sorry arse? STOP IT!

Mr. Poo-Hands - Mr. Poo-Hands doesn't wash after using the stall. Most show no shame about it whatsoever. Then they want to come over to my desk and talk afterward, and touch my stuff...or....ughhh...use my keyboard or mouse. NO! We started posting a little sign in the men's room, inside the stalls. "If you don't wash your hands, people notice, and you get added to a list that goes around the office." The number of Poo-Hands tapered off considerably, but you'd be sickened and amazed to know how many people think nothing of spreading their offal via their hands, around the whole world.

Mr. CellPhone - Mr. CellPhone talks while doing his business. Literally. He'll belt out the latest figures from the queues, or scores from the game last night, while grunting out his morning latte. I'm not even sure what to say to someone like this. It's not like they're specifically doing something horrible, it just strikes me as so... I mean... Seriously, people, how critically essential is it for you to have to talk to someone that very minute that you can't spare two minutes from the phone?

Mr. Wipeless - Mr. Wipeless finishes, and then immediately pulls his pants up and leaves the stall, usually transitioning into a Mr. Poo-Hands. It took a minute to sink in on this one. There was no telltale rattle of toilet paper rolls, there was not even a pause, in case it was too quiet to hear, it was "ploomp", stand, drawers-up, leave. Wh...wh...why!? Is it a pleasant sensation to carry around all day? Is it that you're so fat you can't reach it? I mean...what? What could possibly... ugh!!!

Mr. Paper-Piler - Mr. Paper-Piler uses the stall before me, and for some reason leaves a giant pile of toilet paper...ON THE FLOOR next to the toilet. Why? There's no obvious "use" of the paper, it's just like the guy undid half the roll and left it on the floor in a big pile. This is a fairly regular thing, it's always in the same spot. Why?!?!

Mr. Flinger - Mr. Flinger is into target practice. He picks his nose, and apparently finds a way to launch it, across the stall, onto the opposite wall. I don't understand this one at all. There's toilet paper right next to you. There's a place to dispose of it right under you. It's not like you even have to carry it to a trash can. You could even use a seperate square for each one if you have to... Why is there this pressing desire to coat the opposite wall with nose goblins?

Mr. Boo-Bandit - Mr. Boo-Bandir missed the toilet...and somehow hit...the wall, and not with urine. How do you miss the g_d_ toilet!?!?!?. Are these people hovering over the toilet, casually aiming with their eyes shut, and dancing at the same time? I hope to God that's actually the case, because the idea that I work with people who would purposely CATCH their excrement and then choose to throw it against the wall is too horrible to imagine. In middle school, something like this is a sick prank. As an adult, it's past the line of psychosis.

Mr. Rollwetter - Mr. Rollwetter thought it'd be a great idea to urinate all over the toilet paper rolls. Not like an "oops" where a few wayward drops or splashes fly off before a manual "correction" to the aim, but like, they decided to firehose the mofo and leave a sopping wet, pee-stained mess on the cardboard tube and a puddle underneath. Was it to try and discourage Mr. Paper-Piler from whatever the hell he was doing? A word of advice; this is worse!


I swear to God every single one of these exists in multiple form at my workplace. I work with some seriously _____ed up people.

OMG! ROFLCOPTERS! Tears rolling down my face,and my cheeks hurt from laughing so hard.Holy smokes...I need to breathe.
GROSS but funny as hell.Yep, I got a sick sense of humor.

That was very inciteful and informative. Thats why I can only go at home.

Originally posted by thelibra

Mr. Rollwetter - Mr. Rollwetter thought it'd be a great idea to urinate all over the toilet paper rolls. Not like an "oops" where a few wayward drops or splashes fly off before a manual "correction" to the aim, but like, they decided to firehose the mofo and leave a sopping wet, pee-stained mess on the cardboard tube and a puddle underneath. Was it to try and discourage Mr. Paper-Piler from whatever the hell he was doing? A word of advice; this is worse!

i know what you mean with this one....i have gone into the bathroom at the mall or something before only to find the entire toilet, toilet paper, wall, flush handle, and every damn thing else covered in piss.

my mother in law works for the highschool as a night custodian. she said that she constantly has to clean turds off the floor. off the toilet seats. off the stall walls.
these are highschool kids doing this stuff.
they need strangled i think

Mr.Seat Slicer Mr. Seat Slicer is the person who somehow manages to get fecal matter all over the edge of the toilet seat blech narsty!

This causes the next person to walk in to exclaim "WTF"and causes horrid visuals as to how this is even possible. However the accepted theory is that the individual who left it coudn't force it out and decided to use the rim of the seat as a kind of slicer to detach the stubborn piece. This isn't the most disturbing thing however, Mr. Seat Slicer generally does flush so how the hell did he miss the crap all over the rim of the seat.
>Walks away shaking head< :shk:

I'm thinking you should invest in some discrete surveillance kit, got a feeling if your material matches your descriptions you could make a mint from a site that everyone would have to take a peek at.

P.s.

reply to post by thelibra


As another person said, your thread is a great reminder of why I will only go at home. I gotta be in a really bad way to even set foot in a public lavatory! If and when I do, I touch nothing that I don't have to, and use my foot to flush the toilet, and yes, even though I don't touch anything, I still wash my hands and am amazed while doing so, how many people exit a stall and leave without even glancing at the sink. I use a towel to open the door to the bathroom to leave.

These are fantastic. Fantastically horrible. I LOL at these. Strangest thing I ever saw was a stall where someone had kicked the pipe off the wall on one of those commercial toilets w/no tank. There was a stream of water gushing out and drilling a hole in the wall on the other side of the stall.

Did this guy let one loose so hard it knocked the toilet off the wall? Did he kick the toilet when he finished? People do the strangest things in bathrooms.

I should say that I love McDonald's... The finest public toilets in my neck of the woods, crap food tho.

Mr Seat Washer

Hoses down the toilet seat til there is not a dry spot to be found. Not only that but you need to spend the next few minutes drying the seat off with toilet paper (as long as Mr rollwetter wasn't there before you).

I used to clean restrooms when i was younger at an amusement park. I had to help the women on the crew with the ladies restrooms.

Ms napkin sticker

A few others,

Mr miss johnny vomit
Mr Bop the Bishop on the stall wall

some sick people out there. You might not have to clean it up, someone else does.

i have one Mr. drug addict/drunk-decides to get drink/smoke a joint in the stall next to you, and the bottles roll under the stall toward you, and/or you smell the ranced stench of a joint being lit up.

This is utterly disgusting beyond belief! God....I'm so glad I'm a girl! The ladies room doesn't suffer these same problem, although there is an occasional gross person that doesn't flush.

Why would anyone pee all over the roll of tp? Is it funny... like a prank of some kind?

Originally posted by jensouth31
This is utterly disgusting beyond belief! God....I'm so glad I'm a girl! The ladies room doesn't suffer these same problem, although there is an occasional gross person that doesn't flush.

Why would anyone pee all over the roll of tp? Is it funny... like a prank of some kind?

HA!!! guys, I just discovered a new niche.... that room next to ours!.... they wont expect a thing.

Wayyyyyy too funny Libra!!! Love it!

And on this note, I feel it is my stallmate duty to give you this vid:

'DELIVERENCE' Presents..."Duelling Banjo" - ARSE FARTS by Family Guy!



~Ducky~

I have a few to add:

Mr. Pressure Hose - Mr. Pressure Hose looks to the skies, He attempts to spray his urine on the ceiling, if he fails, he just pees on the urinal tray pull cord...(Usually inhabits schools)

Sir. Nev A. Flush - Mr. Flushy's exact oppisite, Sir. Nev A. Flush looses the almighty power of brownies into the bowl, then leaves without flushing.

Mr. Uchose Terongbowel - Mr. Terongbowel poops in the urinal...nuff said.

Mr. Stinks - Mr. Stinks does the worst smelling dump you've ever seen, so bad you dry retch, then, like Sir. Nev A. Flush leaves without ridding the world of it.

Mr. Clogs - Mr. Clogs does the biggest dump ever, clogging the toilet. Then, after a few futile flushes, leaves as if he didn't do anything.

Some people need to be thrown in a nut house...

Roswell.

reply to post by roswell1


Ok Ros...NOW you're being a sick pupster.

That is pure....unadulterated SICK

I, hereby relieve the contents of my stomach >>

~Ducky~

Mr Toilet Roll racer

this guy finds a stall with a roll of paper (not a stack) and feeds the end of the roll direct into the bowl.
with a flush the race is on to see how fast the roll can spin off the paper directly into the bowl in one continous length.

Mr long drop bomber

not sure why, but a certain race of people tend to stand on the seat and squat so they dont share anyone elses arse germs.
they aim the bombay doors over the bowl and let it drop from a height, much like WWII bombings over berlin but without the whistling sound of the projectiles.

Mr Kanga
named because the position is similar to that of a standing kangaroo, this person uses the dunny facing 180' the other day (facing the cistern)
his log then falls and slides all the way down the front edge of the bowl leaving a lovely burn out mark for everyone to enjoy, including the cleaners.

paper arse gasket man
uses several long lengths of paper layered on the seat as a gasket to stop any seat germs touching his tush'




[edit on 9/2/08 by Obliv_au]

This is one I have come across a few times in my life.

Mr.Don'tLikeALav - MrDon'tLikeALav decides he does not want to do his business in the toilet, for whatever reason, and takes a dump in the urinal. Other instances of this include peeing in sinks designed for washing hands (you'd be suprised at how much this one happens).

[edit on 9/2/08 by PeaceUk]

[edit on 9/2/08 by PeaceUk]

Mr. I dont need a toilet. This variety usualy frequents the one toilet bathroom and decides to do #1 and #2 in the middle of the floor for the next unsuspecting person to step in.

reply to post by Obliv_au


As for Mr. long bomb dropper. He or She has to be chinese. Seriously man, I've seen the foot prints with my own two eyes!!

There are even posters in some toilets in China showing people how to use a bog as opposed to a hole in the floor.

Hong Kong public toilets are pretty good these days, most shopping centers have attendants and are clean as a whistle.

To the op: you just need a quick round of SARS to kill off a few hundred people, amazing what a quick epidemic will do for public hygiene.

MonKey