To The Sick SOB In The Other Stall

LOL!!!

Some hilarious (and disgusting) responses, and many of them I'd completely forgotten about, which we also have at work. By the way, I should clarify, I mean my Real-World Job, not my job at ATS. The staff at ATS all use the toilet in a courteous fashion.

I'd quite forgotten about another guy...

Mr Tourette's - Mr. Tourettes cusses like a sailor at his...parts...while doing his business. Whether he's in the stall, or in the urinal, he can be heard growling insults at his endocrine system for failure to function in the expected or desired manner. After he finishes, he growls insults at his waste. I'm not sure why the need for the profane running commentary, but this guy does it every single time he's been in the can at the same time as myself. Perhaps he had some really hard-core parental pressure during potty-training?

Mr. Wipey
How hard it is to clear the seat after checking the wad? And then when you leave streaks and hunks of poo all over, how do you not notice when you flush?!

Mr. Trophy
OK so you gave birth to the Loch Ness Monster.
Take a picture and flush the beast!

Mr. Public Anouncer.

Quite possibly a relative of Mr. Tourettes. He will quite confidently stride to the doll and dog and then most likely in a colour sargent's bark will announce to the world ney the universe that he is "In need of a huge Brad Pitt" or possibly that he "Needs to pinch off a Richard the third". Hmmmm, I guess you get the picture.

MonKey



Edit: Why don't the darn size tags work for me!!

[edit on 9/2/08 by ChiKeyMonKey]

The worst is the wannabe Picassos who seemingly have forgotten their paint, so they use the materials at hand. Poo, meet wall, wall get filthy...seriously gross. I certainly feel sorry for the people who open in the mornings, 'cause I ain't touching it. Cold of me, I know, but there it is anyway.

You guys are too much.

Last summer we were at a family house party...and there must have been 60 or 70 people there...my son plugged the toilet, I was horrified beyond belief and all my husband could say was "That's my boy!" and all the other men were saying good job buddy and patting him on the back...

reply to post by jensouth31


How incredibly male. That is funny.

Originally posted by Noah-What
Mr Seat Washer

Hoses down the toilet seat til there is not a dry spot to be found. Not only that but you need to spend the next few minutes drying the seat off with toilet paper (as long as Mr rollwetter wasn't there before you).

Ooops. Sorry, that's me. A slight OCD I have when it comes to public toilets.

in my old flat we had a comunnal toilet andthe guy who lived opersite me was a mr poo slicer hated going in the loo after him poo all over the rim of the seay
it has to be said i moved out a couple of months later


i got another mr/mrs no flush = says it all really:shk:

[edit on 1/01/2007 by kerrichin]

Think the slicers are really slicing? I figured they just don't have very good eye-anus coordination and sit with a quartermoon thing going down.

The cleaners went on strike once at the mall. Head of security told me that he and admin. staff were pretty much compelled to do the job until the cleaners agreed to return to work.

He was shocked by the experience. Told me he'd been married for close to thirty years and had two daughters and while he still loved his wife and girls, he'd lost respect for the rest of the ' female race ' after cleaning the women's rest-rooms for the past two days.

Unfortunately I was forced to agree with him. I managed a clothing boutique at the time. All the customers appeared lovely in the front of shop. But those of us who several times a day tidied up the change-rooms saw the other side. Sanitary napkins and tampons tossed on the floor of the change-rooms and left on or under the benches ... clothing stained and streaked with all manner of 'stuff' after being tried on for only a few minutes. Not to mention the filthy, ragged underwear stuffed under the change-room benches ... left in 'exchange' for the nice clean underwear they walked away wearing, unpaid. Some woman (we never knew who had done it) had obviously *wiped* parts of her anatomy with the change-room curtain. No-one else would touch it. I wore gloves to remove and bin it.

As to the women's rest-rooms at the mall ... same as those described in above posts: unflushed turds; resonating tuba-noises; excreta and urine all over the seat and floor; used sanitary napkins on the floor or left on the cistern and used tampons left floating in the bowl in a sea of discoloured urine with perhaps a goat-sized turd or three for comany. Failure to wash hands was common, BUT they had time to reapply lipstick and fluff their hair, squirt with perfume. Then out they'd flounce, to set men's hearts on fire, lol.

So many times I've sat down, only to find that the bottom of my strides are soaked in piss because I've been paddling in it without noticing 'til I sat down.
And those really hot, centrally heated public toilets in supermarkets seem to make the smell ten times worse. It's like a baseball bat in the face when you walk in there.
Then there's the snotty kid who waits outside YOUR stall, then you're washing your hands and you hear him telling his dad how much it stank when he went in after you.
And there's those dispensers with linen towels on rollers, that always get stuck so you have to use the same bit of towel everybody else has used, and you KNOW for sure the last guy to use it was the guy who stank the place out in the first place.
Ever had someone put a camera under the door and take a photo of you while you're taking a dump?
I have, and there was NOTHING I could do about it, except think of how uncool I would look squeezing my head on Youtube.
Such is life.


[edit on 10-2-2008 by Illegal Alien]

Originally posted by thelibra

Mr. Flushy - Mr. Flushy sits in the stall next to me. He flushes the toilet several times before sitting down. Once he sits down, he flushes the toilet repeatedly. I lose track after about the twentieth flush. At first, it's kind of funny. Then it get kind of creepy. Then I get angry. It's arsehats like these that contribute to the water shortage. I feel like shouting "Hey, you! Arsehat! You just wasted 100 gallons of water!!!" What the hell??? Is the stink of one ball of poo so bad you have to immediately flush it away before any others fall? Is this a strange fixation you never got over as a child? Is it a hint that I need to do a courtesy flush? What? How many thousands of gallons a week are literally wasted on your sorry arse? STOP IT!

sounds kinda ocd'ish. perhpas that's what's wrong with ppl like him.

reply to post by jensouth31


Oh contrair my dear dear lovely jen I have had the job of cleaning up bathrooms before and Ill tell you firsthand that women are sometimes way way worse than men

I will call these "Mrs. Angry red mouse thrower"

These women have to change a tampon (angry red mouse)and most womens restrooms provide a box for such things. Well Mrs. Angry red mouse thrower decides that this used piece of feminine hygiene equipment deserves to be displayed on the stall door instead.

I must use higher class bathrooms But yuck, that is quite gross.

OMG i havent laughed this hard in a long time...seriously I laughed so hard it woke the dog up and made him look at me funny

it has now been printed to share because its so horribly true and awful and funny

I think I will give it to my dad to post in the bathroom at work where the guys make a bigger mess than a group of unhousebroken puppies!

O-M-G I am in pain from containing laughter. I am all alone in my office laughing and gasping for air. I suspect an intervention soon.

I too shall print out these gems.

We had the PHANTOM POOPER here at work for quite some time.
He would breeze in, leave a heafty deposit and leave mysteriously.
The stench was unbearable.
We figured out who it was and sort of embarassed him a bit.
I used to say that someone dropped their kids off at the pool and forget one, or call the camp councilor, someone forgot their kids! This was funny until a coworker asked the Phantom if he was a camp councilor. He was confused, we all almost died of laughter.

THE SOFT SERVE: Would 'paint' the bowl and even a courtesy flush would not lift it away.

Then there is also the bathrom stall poet who resorts to writing on the stall wall something like the following:
Here I sit,
Broken hearted;
Came to s**t,
But only farted!

lololol at these. wow people can be so nasty. why is it so hard to simply poo/pee whipe flush wash hands?
i can't believe people don't wipe especially after number 2 jesus. that is gross. i mean ew dude you;re sitting down smearing it on the underwear.soo nasty.


hahaha i have always wondered how people got poop on the seat like seriously wtf?

one time at starbucks (i used to work there) someone in the LADIES room decided to go number two....ON THE FLOOR!!! i cleaned it up when i thought yay im done i pickup the trash can and um yeah they left some poop under the trash can WHAT THE HELL!?!? what are they thinking while doing this?!it blows my mind!!!
oh and a few months after i left starbucks my friend told me someone in the mens room pooped and then drew a cross on the wall with their own waste! wow
!!!!

Where has this thread been all my life! I'm just glad it wasn't a woman who wrote this, then I'd really be disgusted.

Libra, I wish I had written that! Starred and flagged.

Peace

Yes, the very reason I refrain from associating with humans now days. I make every attempt to stay out of public restrooms when about. Most are just absolutely disgusting.

Although once, I was at my bosses new mansion where a party was taking place and I went to use the bathroom and my girlfriend followed me in and made an adjustment on my perfect aim to go on the wall. The sick chick. I actually was mad at her for that freakin maneuver.