Finding Love online?

I wonder how many of you met your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend online or here on ATS?
I read somewhere that more people get online through online dating than going to nightclubs! What are your views on it? Is it true that only geeks, shy ones or the desperate search for love online?
And finally is a long distance relationship and investing in someone you never actually met worth the effort and money?

It's just like anything else. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work.
Do I believe? You bet I do.
My advice? If you find something online you think might workout for you, go for it.

I personally wouldn't recomend it. I have heard sucess storys and everyone can do as they wish but I think its not the best way to pursue a relationship.

Love at first post, how Romantic.

I'm aware of more ATS break-ups than success stories. I don't know of any success stories here on ATS, if I'm wrong please feel free to enlighten me. Truthfully, this is a human social setting, so yes it's possible to fall in Love online, but if it remains just online, then thats all it will ever be.

Many have met their mate online and have married and are living happily ever after, but for every success story their are the horror stories to.

I dont know what to think. I know its worked for my brother, but didnt work out in the end.

There are lots of people out there roaming the streets, in clubs, supermarkets, department stores, work, etc. If you cant click with any of them, i'd say the chances here are not so great either.

But that's just my opinion. Of course, to the exceptions, i say GOOD FOR YOU!!! AND i'm happy for you!!!

So, are you looking for love on ATS?

Rule #1: Get a notarized picture of said person to verify the sex, looks, etc.
#2- Age is very important to know. You wouldnt want to end up on the tv show.

Yes it is possible and can be a good thing. Worth the time, trouble and money, well thats for the individual to decide.

I did it.

I met my wife online over 10 years ago. We were 5 hours away from one another and travelled A LOT, to see each other. It was worth it.

Would I do it again, yes, I'd do it all over again.

reply to post by elevatedone


Would you describe what you felt for her as a crush at first, then love after meeting or did you love before meeting in person?

I met my fiance online and we have been together for almost 7 years, our anniversary will be on January 8th and on September 13th we are finally going to tie the knot.

We both lived in the twin cities at the time so it really wasn't long distance. However I lived on the Minneapolis side of the twin cities and he lived on the St. Paul side and as many people from Minnesota know, most of us think that "crossing the river" so to speak is quite a trip.

We started out as merely online friends. Talking about music and our lives and things we enjoyed doing. We didn't meet in person until we had already been talking online for a few months.

The way I see it, no matter how you meet someone, the odds are the same. I have had relationships with people I have met in real life and have had them turn out to be disatrous. You can meet someone at a club or at work and have it turn out bad and meet someone online and have it turn out good and vice versa.

reply to post by LDragonFire


Great question.

We met in a chat room and she seemed very whitty, making everyone laugh, so I started to pay attention to her. Before long, she and I were chatting away, over about a 2 month period, we started becoming more interested in each other. So at this point, I was interested in her, I guess the word would be intruiged by her, so yes I liked her and wanted to know more.

So after chatting for a couple of months, the phone calls started, every day as much as possible during the day. At this point, I really started to have feelings for her, as a close friend, but with that feeling you get that you want more than friendship.

We decided to meet in person, she drove the 5 hours to see me, walked in and I was stunned. We had not shared pictures of one another. She was beautiful. We started to travel weekends, etc to be with each other at this point I really liked her and knew that I was falling.

After about a month of the traveling back and forth, once when I was leaving her place at 3:30am,( I had to go to work) she was still laying in bed and I stood in the doorway, watching her sleep, I thought, she's really something... I really like her, no I think I love her. So I said goodbye and "I love you", she pretended not to hear me, but a while later admitted that she heard me.

It was about a month after that before she told me that she loved me and that was okay. She had a very rough divorce from her first husband and it took me a while to gain her trust and love, but it was worth the wait.

We lived together for 9 years and was married last year in March.

Thanks for sharing this wodnerful story
Why did it take so long to get married? After 2 years living together I would start giving ultimatums

In my case, I found love online and things would have worked out but fate said no go. For the full story, I'm gonna link to my story in another thread.

My story

My thoughts? Yes you can.

reply to post by TheOracle



We both were just out of marriages, I had been married 7 years, dated for one, she had been married 1 year dated 8 years...

So we were both a little gun shy...

We lived together and it might as well have been marriage, we were only seeing eachother, etc.

We would talk about it from time to time, but I knew she still wasn't ready, until about 2-3 years ago... but I waited until the time was right.

I've tried meeting people online but no 'good' or 'cute' guy was worthy enough as boyfriend or husband material. There was a co-worker who met a totally handsome guy online and both got married this year and after dating on and off for over eight years.

Anyone could meet and/or date people at nightclubs or online for love. This includes the risk of hooking up with both the 'bad' AND the 'ugly' type of folks. This means noone is immune to any potential trouble that may occur during the initial stage of 'getting to know a person' in a relationship.

As for investing in a long distance relationship with a total stranger, this depends on where the heart is for the investor. I would say always listen to the head, especially if it involves money. There is no need to get a broken heart and get burned financially at the same time.

I think it's very possible.

I also think respect has a lot
to do with it. Not just looks.

On-line, people can meet the
personality, and intelligence,
before they ever see the per-
son.

And this way, friendships based
on respect can begin, before a
relationship ever starts.

DISCLAIMER:
I know, there are weirdo's out there
that do odd things.
Personally, I think they are a min-
ority. But, always be wary. Read
past posts. Ask other members.

Caveat Emptor.

Regards,
Lex

I think it can work out... although, you should probably not set the stakes with a long distance thing.

I tried that once... fell in love with a girl from PA..... drove all the way out there to see her, and just instantly I knew it was a bad decision. I kinda should have just ended it right there that first day of meeting her, because the connection I thought we had just wasn't there in person. No attraction. I didn't, though, cuz I felt like really horrible about getting her hopes up... and I slept with her, too. I dunno, I felt like I owed her... so I stayed for two weeks pretending to be in love, but being disgusted with myself.... and this was just last summer, and I've only recently ended the whole charade this month... because she was making plans to move here to be with me forever... and I just couldn't handle it, man.

Real love between a man and a woman is a rare thing, and online love unless it's a relatively short distance away to where you can meet without a huge commitment or expectation behind the meeting, it's just the worst mistake you can make. Unless you can chat like over a webcam so you can get a feel for what they are like in person, just don't take the chance. You're fairly attractive, in my opinion

You should be able to find love locally... although believe me, it is also a hard thing to do. I'm very bitter about relationships now. I dunno, sometimes I feel like falling in love is just an illusion... like a trap... because I just have not met a girl that just didn't completely push the wrong button for me in some way, and if I have, either I never saw her again, or they had a boyfriend already.

But to be honest, I can't say it doesn't sometimes work out, and if you feel 100 percent great about the situation, go for it.

By the way, do ya live near Aurora, IL?

Your response:

reply to post by indierockalien


Love is rare and precious indeed, most of the marriages and couples I know (including myself) end up in failure or problems. It's as if people marry because they couldn't find "better" at one point.
You said you didn't have any attraction for that woman in the real, what made things different? You probably knew how she looked like and a good idea of her personality? Why didn't it click?
I think people shouldn't place the expectations bar too high, specially for online dates

Oh and I am half way across the globe in eastern Europe

All my Lovers and Marriages were the result of meeting face to face and we were usually introduced by mutual friends. None of these relationships ever worked out to be a permanent deal but all of us are still friends and still intimate at times.

I'm not to sure about www. dating and introductions. I like to dance with my partners first, even before I find out their name.

But it really doesn't matter how two people get together, just as long as they do, because being alone sucks. At least it does for me, however I have known many folks that prefer to be alone.

I guess the reason was because I just felt like she was using me to replace her self esteem, and she was so clingy and just wow it overwhelmed me... and honestly, I thought I had a decent idea of what she looked like, but like... there were a couple of physical things that bothered me... but I think I would've gotten over those if she wasn't like so desperately clingy. There was one physical thing though that kinda made me wanna It's rather... not for this forum.... I gotta stop now with that.

But the main thing was clinginess and like just the physical interaction that you can't see over long distances. It's not the looks so much, although that comes into play a little, I'm ashamed to say... which is very hypocritical of me, since I'm not a big looker... but yeah it's a combination of things. You gotta be confident that the person has some good sense of self, you gotta be at least somewhat attracted to them, and you gotta be able to have a feeling for how the physical presence of their being feels. The latter is the MOST important, I think.

The interaction of energies, I think... ya know? The chemicals flowing between one another, and the energies.

Originally posted by whaaa
I like to dance with my partners first, even before I find out their name.

Let me guess, lights down low, you approach a fine looking lady.
You look deep into her eyes and say "Care to dance"? After a couple of spins, and getting a feel for things, the scent, perfume, etc, if you like them do you then yell over the music "WHATS YOUR NAME"???

So romantic, you.

Originally posted by dgtempe
After a couple of spins, and getting a feel for things, the scent, perfume, etc, if you like them do you then yell over the music "WHATS YOUR NAME"???

No dg, I usually just squeeze the lady up real tight and whisper in her ear...

"Hey Baby, Is it alright if I just call you Baby"