So theres this girl right...

and she is ridicuiouly awsome. She is so inoccent, and a realy sweet girl, the kind of girl that is so inocnect tht she has never even kisssed a guy before.

So i was at this frat thing earlier, and got a bit drunk, shes calls and me and my buddy ask her over to the place. She gets there we throw one of the matrix movies in and start talking. My buddy passses out about 5 min into the movie and me and her are talking. About the ussaual stuff.

So we are both droppping hints about our emotions, and what not(or at least i am and i am thinking she is...)

Turns out she has never had a b/f and never even kissed a guy! SO naturaly she starts askeing about my past and i can't tell her what i had done before ( lets just say i am infinatly more expericened then her). So i make some jokes and what not, and finnnaly we start to doze off.

She falls asleep in my arms as i am embraceing her... i am unable to fall asleep because my mind is racing with thought. This beautiful girl is alseep in my arms, and i cant fall assleep

I am freaking nervouois, i want things to go well between us, and i hope there is something between us, i am not sure how to act now, what the next move is

I dont know how to act in these situations, what to do, what to expect.

This girl is more incocent then i was in the 5th grade, what do i do, what can i do.

I like this girl and the last thing i want to do is screw it up with her...

so tell me it was a good thing to slip out of bed away from her, and walk back to my house, and try to get my head straight....

So, how do i not screw tihings up...

And i may be a little drunk still... soryy.

I think you did the right thing by not taking advantage of her.However..she may be confused at why you slipped away.Make sure you tell her your honest feelings.Don't beat around the bush leaving questions in her mind.More relationships..potential or not..end because of things left unsaid.
Good Luck!

Originally posted by AccessDenied
I think you did the right thing by not taking advantage of her.However..she may be confused at why you slipped away.Make sure you tell her your honest feelings.Don't beat around the bush leaving questions in her mind.More relationships..potential or not..end because of things left unsaid.
Good Luck!

God isn't this the truth. And I agree with you 100%

Personally I'm not into the innocent girls, I do like mine uh not so innocent.

TKainZero, she apparently digs you, be honest and up front and what ever you do don't play with her head or emotions.

take advantage of her, never crossed my mind.

I admit is was strange slipping away, i think her and my buddy are going to be surpised in the moarning ( Ha, late afternoon)

I wanted to say something to her before the night was over and she was going to leave (she showed uo at midnight, and only planned to stay for 30 min) But once she fell asleep. i coulndt wake her....

I dont have her number, and this was the first time i had ever gotten to talking to her alone... so opertunities dont come often.

I just want to have a good relation with her... not that i know how good realationships go.. but i guess i could figure it out.

And what do i do about my past, i am no inocent guy. I dont think i can crack a good joke everytime she aks about past relations... but i realy dont want to tell her what i used to do, if i did that she would never talk to me again....

So should i tell a white lie abbout my past sexual exploits, or should i just lay out the plain truth, no matter the consequence.

Originally posted by LDragonFire
Personally I'm not into the innocent girls, I do like mine uh not so innocent.

Yea, those used to be fun times... but after several years of that, that game gets tired.

Ive grown tired of that game, I know how that game goes, and how it ends, good, fun times, but i realise that that is not everything, and after who knows how many emotionless hookups ive had later, it no longer does it for me, and i want a girl that will be stable, and trustworthy, and not a total sex adict. (shocking i know!)


I dont even know what 'normal' people do on dates, before i was always at a party, or a get together, we get drunk, then go back to the nearest safe place, and do the deed... now what... what to do ... flowers?... what am a i getting myself into...

reply to post by TKainZero

Ah dude I would Not have left my friend there! Bad Bad Bad, just because you didn't take advantage of her or even think about it, doesn't mean he will act the same.

*edit to add* you know really I have no idea why I posted to your thread, because I don't know crap about women, but I'm really good at making them mad at me, god givin talent, I guess all people must be proficient at something.

[edit on 2-12-2007 by LDragonFire]

Nahhh... dudes way passed out, and dude is with girls roommate....

So nahhh...

Plus, we were in his room chillin... so .... nah...




Damm you, now i am going to have to walk back over there... no sleep for me, ill slip back into bed, and wat not... damm this is going to be a long walk....

Okay, if you want to date this girl seriously, not just do the deed and drop her, then you are going to need to level with her about your past exploits.

You don't have to go into details, but let her know what you used to do, and let her know that you are not planning on doing that to her. Let her know that you are looking for more.

Once she knows that, you two will be on your way. Though, you'd better be as sincere as you possibly can when you say that, otherwise her woman-sense will know.

Promising her that will mean no more wild parties, no more sleeping with other girls, and just to be safe you may want to swear off alcohol for a while. It can make you do things you don't want to, so I'd say its best to stop drinking it for now.

Good luck to you two, I hope things turn out well

I can only speak from my experience and most of the women that coma across as demure, innocent and inexperienced actually had had a few more intimate encounters than they let on.

In any and every case, the best approach is honesty. Tell her you want to jump her bones and see what happens. Buy her some flowers and a little stuffed animal. It's corney and stupid but works like majic.

Ok first off you should be upfront about your past exploits, by dodging this all you are doing is hiding from yourself. However play it to your advantage, don't outright lie about it just color your experiences to shine more positively reflect on you. Women will tend to use this tactic on you so I see nothing wrong with using it yourself. Don't try to cover your past up with a false sense of humor this is seen as being weak. Also please note that if she is asking those kinds of questions she does have some interest.

If she called you lastnight her number should be in your phone. the not being able to sleep thing, not to uncommon personally I cant sleep with strange people in my house no matter how tired I am so the one nighters get polietly asked to leave.

If you have to promise no more parties and quit drinking and hanging out with your friends, RUN. This type of relationship works for one thing and one thing only, making you miserable. Why does it work for only that? because you are not being honest about who you are. Being intrested in a girl is not a reason for turing yourself in to a doormat and will only lead to her not being all that interested in the relationship. As long as you keep a casual eye on the news, you should always have something to talk about, also it should be mentioned you belong to a discussion forum consisting of a very diverse group of people who post on a wide range of issues with a wide range of thoughts about them, talk about it. With just those two media outlets at your disposal you should hardly if ever run out of anything to talk about.

Originally posted by Jovi1
If you have to promise no more parties and quit drinking and hanging out with your friends, RUN.

I was simply saying that going to parties and drinking is something that breaks decent relationships up. Because when you get drunk, you have less control over yourself, and if you used to do the deed at parties all the time but have recently stopped in order to seriously date someone, that inhibition goes away.

Just saying his continued partying may bring a quick end to the relationship he wants to have.

If you can stay in perfect control of yourself while drunk, then go ahead and get drunk if you want to. I'm just saying, I wouldn't risk it.

reply to post by Voidmaster


True to an extent, but the thing people most people have to understand being drunk is not an excuse for crummy behavior by any means to use this excuse means one thing and one thing only, you are weak and have no buisness drinking to begin with. Not attacking you personally, just stating my view on that line of reasoning.

Not seeing how it's a personal attack, as I don't drink and never will.

Why? I don't quite trust what I would do while drunk, so I don't. Better safe then sorry, no?

Well, thankfuly im not a angry/violent drunk. I am jus a quiet/funny drunk, who happens to remain in control the enitre time, and i can remember everything. So i dont kine that alchohal would be a problem, she drinks a little, VERY little, she is smashed after 2 shots.

Whats the nicest way to talk about my past....

I cant jusst say, ive been with x girl, in y diffrent public places, and did z in high school. How do i explain to her that in high school on the weekends i did exactly 2 things, 1st try to go to a party and hook up with a random girl, and after that was done, the nixt day/night i would throw/go to massive Halo 1 LANS.

I also happen to have two f-buddies and they were mortal eniemies of each other, and this fact happen to lead to... uhh.. many good things for me.

This is the lowest deatail i can go into basicly, and should i say this much... or less...

You tell her that in exactly that way. Seriously if she can't get over it she isn't really worth your time. Now please try and do yourself a favor and remember this predicatment the next time you think about banging the night away on the next random girl. Good Luck.

Be a good friend to her, tell her the truth, and always be open about your feelings. Show her what a true gentleman is and listen to her. The last part being the most important.

Another thought, and issue that needs to be addressed is, this girl is not perfect. The odds are that she hasn't been completely truthful about her past relationship experiences. And that while they may or may not in fact be on the same level as yours, and to be honest about it if they aren't quite that bad to you to her they are. So when they do finally start coming free you will need to exercise care in regards to her feelings in dealing with them. Other than that you should be pretty well covered and Good Luck.

I got all warm and fuzzy inside reading that...

reply to post by TKainZero


I'm not exactly a dating expert, nor do I have the experience, but one thing I have realized is it's not about the experience. It's about common sense.

So if you trust common sense, I'll offer you mine:

LIE!

If your past is as bad as you're making it sound - lie. I know, that sounds bad. "Can't lie to someone you like" "it's bad for trust" blah blah. I know. But you don't want to scare her off either. So I think this is one of those kinds of lies that's excusable, AS LONG AS you're not planning to go 'back there', in the past, and do it all over again.

If you are planning on reliving the past, then tell her.

As far as being nervous - don't be. Be yourself. If you've been yourself to get her to talk to you and like you, then be yourself every time you're around her. If you start second guessing yourself all the time, you'll become someone you're not. That someone you're not, she'll either dislike, or start to like. If she dislikes that new you, there is no you and her. If she likes that new you, how long can you really keep that up before you start second guessing yourself again?

Just be yourself. If you're funny - be funny. If you're outspoken - be outspoken. If you're arrogant - be arrogant. Something caught her attention in you. You don't have to know what it is, just keep doing what you're doing.

There's my dating advice. Free of charge. You got a discount. Next time it's going to cost you $19.95 a minute.

Originally posted by NovusOrdoMundi
reply to post by TKainZero

 

I'm not exactly a dating expert, nor do I have the experience, but one thing I have realized is it's not about the experience. It's about common sense.

So if you trust common sense, I'll offer you mine:

LIE!

No offense but this is in fact the worst advice, like ever. A real man has no need to lie about these things. A real man accepts his poor choices and accepts full responsibility for them. The thing to remember in any relationship setting is that every lie you tell will comback and haunt you. Say you tell this particular girl a lie about the past, then a few weeks or months later one of your buddies accidently drops the ball and lets your secret loose what then? The first thing she is going to wonder is if you lied about this what else are you or have you lied about. The next thing you know your past will be held up and measured to what you are doing in the present whenever you are unexpectdly late calling picking her up, the list goes on here.

The absolute best thing is to lay it all out straight, explain it to her tell her how you viewed it and ultimately just how unsatisfing those experiences were, be sincere. If she can't deal with it then move on there are plenty of good women out there who can and will. The biggest question you have to ask yourself is simply this if you lie to her about this and do end up in a good relationship do you think you can live with your big secret for a lifetime or is it gonna eat you inside that you have this big life shaping part of your life you may never be able to share with her?

This woman isn't just some girl you are trying to bed, this is someone you are looking at with real interest. Don't go into it in a deception the price you will both pay later isnt worth it.