What's your awesomely LAME superpower?

My wife and I watched the X-men movie "The Last Stand" over the weekend.
We were discussing how the mutant's power varied, from one character to another. Weather control, mainipulation of matter, the ability to heal rapidly.

As I wondered about the kind of power would I like to have, Immediately I realized that it my luck it would be something supremely underwhelming.


Like, I could make fresh biscuits materialize at will, in the palm of my hand.

The Doughmaster!
yeah thats me. I distract you with the sight and sent of a fresh biscuit, so Wolverine can kick your butt!

I hope the gang likes biscuits.


My wife agreed, hers would probably be lame as well.
"I could tie, or untie shoelaces at a distance."
"Occasionally I would make someone trip, so Wolverine could kick his butt"

I called her "Lacer Beam"

yes, we are geeks.

SO....What is YOUR awesomely lame superpower?
And Whats your really cool X-man name?

I can close one eye without the eyelids of my other eye even flinching.



It's true i tells ya.

I can make the enemies eyes water with a foul smellin' gas cloud from across the room.

My really fancy, cool, superhero name is:

The Flatulator

I have the ability to take amazingly fast showers, 3-5 minutes fully clean.

I yell:

SHOWAH POWAH ACTIVATE!

Also I can detect bad breath from 100 paces!

Known as; The Self Righteous Pointer Outer!

I talk really fast, I guess I could confuse someone into doing something...
You can call me

The Car Salesmen

I really don't sell cars...really....I don't!

I can render my enemies unconscious with my incessant rantings on any number of arcane and esoteric fringe topics inducing a boredom-inspired coma.

My name - The ATSer.

my lame superpower would be hating people. sadly, this isn't something I am making up. I generally hate all people. my deep hatred for everyone and everything could work as a distraction to the villains and as they focus their attention on me and my hateful comments, wolverine et al can beat them down.

my new delta tau chi name is antipathy.

I betcha I am the fastest crapper you ever came across. I can do my business in less than a minute.

dude, that's not a lame superpower, that's some kind of curse. where else can you escape from the family, read the paper or a book, play the psp or just sit and ponder the mysteries of life but on the throne?

a quickie forces you to face life's harsh realities that much longer. the bathroom is your fortress of solitude. it's your safe haven, your home.

Originally posted by Crakeur
the bathroom is your fortress of solitude. it's your safe haven, your home.

Nah, that would be sleep for me. If I am asleep,I don't have to think,wonder or worry about anything.

Originally posted by Crakeur
dude, that's not a lame superpower, that's some kind of curse. where else can you escape from the family, read the paper or a book, play the psp or just sit and ponder the mysteries of life but on the throne?

a quickie forces you to face life's harsh realities that much longer. the bathroom is your fortress of solitude. it's your safe haven, your home.

Who said you have to go, after you go? nobody has to know. He could read for an hour if he wanted! hehe


SpeakerofTruth, but what is your lame super name?

Originally posted by spacedoubt
Who said you have to go, after you go? nobody has to know. He could read for an hour if he wanted! hehe


SpeakerofTruth, but what is your lame super name?

No, really, I can finish on the toilet in less than a minute. Plop,plop, and I am done and ready to go.

My lame Super name? How about.... Speediozabo!!!

[edit on 15-2-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

Originally posted by spacedoubt
He could read for an hour if he wanted! hehe

Technically, yes but then he'd be "Hemorrhoid Guy" or maybe "Pile Driver".

The Swollen Anus has a somewhat fright inducing tone to it

the pile driver

gahahaha!

LOL

ok, these don't have to be REAL abilities.
Just pretend you were born an underpowered mutant.

Can you mind control a goldfish?
Shrink to 99.9 percent of your actual size?
Grow fingernails at twice the normal rate?

[edit on 15-2-2007 by spacedoubt]

I could read the auras of mushrooms and communicate with them telepathically.

I am the Fungus-Whisperer!

If I got lame superpowers it would probably be...

The ability to dislodge stubborn little pieces of food from my back teeth and spit it out at slower than normal speed.

The villain would see this and have to react with,"OH! Eww MAN thats gross!
get yourself a bib or sumfin!

Whilst wolverine can seize the opportunity to rip him a few new ones.

I would be called "bib boy"

I can focus an intense beam of energy at snow and produce any flavor of 7-11 slurpee at will.