Am I Jesus?

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
I am "declaring" to be the reincarnated form of Jesus Christ.
The 'second coming' if you will?

Oh, for Christ's sake! :bnghd:

Yeah. Crystal clear. All the same stuff applies. You're lying.

No I am not lying. But let us not allow this to descend into childish name calling. Can't we just agree to disagree?
I don't think you'd fit into my army anyway. Too stubborn.
Please cut down the blasphemy.

[edit on 30-6-2006 by surrender_dorothy]

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
Can't we just agree to disagree?

Not likely.

Please cut down the blasphemy.

That's rich!

I didn't know Jesus was a comic!

surrender_dorothy,

If you were Jesus reincarnate, you would already know that no one at this board will believe that you are Jesus reincarnate ............... so why are you doing this?

This has got to be the most preposterous tread yet !!

Jeez

NN

[edit on 30-6-2006 by NoNik]

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
No I am not lying. But let us not allow this to descend into childish name calling. Can't we just agree to disagree?
I don't think you'd fit into my army anyway. Too stubborn.
Please cut down the blasphemy.

[edit on 30-6-2006 by surrender_dorothy]

Regardless of whether you are Jesus, the TOC does not allow for recruitment

1e.) Recruitment Content: You will not post advertisements, chain letters, pyramid schemes, or solicitations of any kind. You will not collect personal information about forum members for the purpose of sending advertisements, chain letters, pyramid schemes, or solicitations through other means (email, messaging programs, etc.).

It was already posted by Worldwatcher. You should really take the Mod's advice



[edit on 6/30/2006 by pstiffy]

oops






[edit on 6/30/2006 by Prove_it]

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy

I just hear stuff. Angels screaming, demons being scurrilous and sometimes I hear direct info(probably from one of the top angels) on how the war is going and what lucifer plans.

Probably one of the top angels??? yet you know not there name?:shk:

Sounds a bit more like a game the "Devil" would like to play.

Originally posted by Prove_it

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy

I just hear stuff. Angels screaming, demons being scurrilous and sometimes I hear direct info(probably from one of the top angels) on how the war is going and what lucifer plans.

Probably one of the top angels??? yet you know not there name?:shk:

Sounds a bit more like a game the "Devil" would like to play.

eheheheheh
only joking...i'm not really the devil.
as for the stuff I hear. It's never very clear...kind of like a bad radio transmission.
e.g. "...shhkkk...aaaarrrggghhh.....shhhhkkk.....arrrrgghh...taken the first outer wall...ssshhhkkk...aaarrrrgghh...get everyone back onto the second wall...ssshhkkkk..." That sort of stuff.

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy

eheheheheh

only joking...i'm not really the devil.
as for the stuff I hear. It's never very clear...kind of like a bad radio transmission.
e.g. "...shhkkk...aaaarrrggghhh.....shhhhkkk.....arrrrgghh...taken the first outer wall...ssshhhkkk...aaarrrrgghh...get everyone back onto the second wall...ssshhkkkk..." That sort of stuff.

LOL

Doyou hear yourself? Do you actually read back what you've typed after you've typed it. Doi you really think anyone would actually believe you are the reincarnation of Jesus after reading any of you posts.

You sure you are getting messages from Charlies Angels. I could believe that, more so than "Angels"are sending you telepathic transmissions that are garbled like a CB radio transmission.

Bosley is that you?

[edit on 6/30/2006 by pstiffy]

This is the dumbest thread i've ever wasted the time to comment on.

Join me OR-ELSE is not a message Jesus would spread.

FIN.

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
I just hear stuff. Angels screaming, demons being scurrilous and sometimes I hear direct info(probably from one of the top angels) on how the war is going and what lucifer plans.

Another sign of schizophrenia is auditory hallucinations.

I have to say that you are in breach of several laws of ATS, and also several Christian beliefs. Why should we believe you? If you are Jesus, surely you'd think we'd take your advice and beware false prophets?

I think that you should ease up on the "Join me or be damned" posts, as well as the claims that you are someone you are not.

You seem to think that on ATS you are free to post what you want as long as someone believes you. You are not.
You post something, in your case you are claiming to be someone of importance. You then give evidence of your claims and let the board decide on whether you are who you say you are.

Until you give evidence (and you have had several pages to do this) you are going to be ridiculed. Eventually the mods will give you an ultimatum: evidence or eviction.

Originally posted by JackofBlades
Until you give evidence (and you have had several pages to do this) you are going to be ridiculed.

Uh oh, you said bring evidence .......... now it will be 3 pages of Bible scripture as evidence. You know how it is, heh.

NN

Originally posted by pstiffy

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy

eheheheheh

only joking...i'm not really the devil.
as for the stuff I hear. It's never very clear...kind of like a bad radio transmission.
e.g. "...shhkkk...aaaarrrggghhh.....shhhhkkk.....arrrrgghh...taken the first outer wall...ssshhhkkk...aaarrrrgghh...get everyone back onto the second wall...ssshhkkkk..." That sort of stuff.

LOL

Doyou hear yourself? Do you actually read back what you've typed after you've typed it. Doi you really think anyone would actually believe you are the reincarnation of Jesus after reading any of you posts.

You sure you are getting messages from Charlies Angels. I could believe that, more so than "Angels"are sending you telepathic transmissions that are garbled like a CB radio transmission.

Bosley is that you?

[edit on 6/30/2006 by pstiffy]

eheheh..that's amusing coming from a David Icke fan. eheheh
Pstiffy:
"ooohh...reptilian yes reptilian...what wonderul ideas come from your pretty little narcissistic head...ooohhh...reptilian, reptilian, reptilian."
Icke:
"...mmmm...shapeshifting...mmm...lizards...mmm...i'm not crazy...."
Pstiffy:
"Of course not sir...you are the greatest...reptilian, reptilian...the true son of god..."
(the dialogue ceases due to sounds of slithery slathery...)

Originally posted by NoNik

Originally posted by JackofBlades
Until you give evidence (and you have had several pages to do this) you are going to be ridiculed.

Uh oh, you said bring evidence .......... now it will be 3 pages of Bible scripture as evidence. You know how it is, heh.

NN

OMG! I know not what I do!!! Here it comes: Corinthians says...Paul says... Jesus Christ Almighty (not you dorothy)

And your last post seems a little immature coming from someone who is the son of the omnipotent deity which created all life.

Oh, and FYI, I have U2U'd kinglizard to ask him to check the thread. But obviously if you're Jesus you have nothing to worry about.





Right?

You then give evidence of your claims and let the board decide on whether you are who you say you are.

www.datejesus.com...

this is what I look like...is that proof enough?

WHOA! I'm sorry, I didn't know you had a beard! That is the only sign of divinity we need.






BTW I was being sarcastic.
Have you seen Passion of the Christ? Jesus Christ Superstar? Or any of the other legions of Jesus-centric films? All of them look like Jesus, doesn't mean that they are an aspect of him. It means they have long hair a beard and sandals.
Besides, Jesus was not white.

You seem more to be advertising your sordid little attempts at having a bath with women. Get a life pervy.

[edit on 30/6/06 by JackofBlades]

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy

eheheh..that's amusing coming from a David Icke fan. eheheh
Pstiffy:
"ooohh...reptilian yes reptilian...what wonderul ideas come from your pretty little narcissistic head...ooohhh...reptilian, reptilian, reptilian."
Icke:
"...mmmm...shapeshifting...mmm...lizards...mmm...i'm not crazy...."
Pstiffy:
"Of course not sir...you are the greatest...reptilian, reptilian...the true son of god..."
(the dialogue ceases due to sounds of slithery slathery...)

LMAO

Blast me all ya want, if you actually READ what I posted in set thread you know exactly how I feel about Icke. But no, you find that I posted on a thread you find "nuts" and say I posted things I never did.

From here

Anyways, you can make me out to look like a nut all you want, you'll hopefully be banned soon anyways for breaking numerous TOC, but don't misconstrue what I said in another thread to make me look less credible.

So bugger off "Jesus"


[edit on 6/30/2006 by pstiffy]

[edit on 6/30/2006 by pstiffy]

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
www.datejesus.com...

Jesus looking for a good-time woman, oh boy this takes the cake.

Excerpt:

datejesus.com
All requests from young women in the DC Metro area will be considered. ........ [snip] ....... If you are not spiritual, Jesus will share a beer and pleasant existential banter.

Ya, real God-like.

You reeeeaaally need to visit a shrink dude, as you exhibit serious notions of delusion.

NN

Donations provide me with food to eat while I sleep under a bridge in this lonely world.

When I thirst (John 19:28), nothing satisfies me more than a crisp pint of Guinness.

When I'm looking for mass produced franchise coffee, there's nothing better than an Iced Mocha from Starbucks.

Those are some nice shades for a homeless person who sleeps under a bridge. Was that Starbucks nice? I don't think homeless people who must rely on donations could afford that.

Bathe With Jesus
Young women interested in bathing with Jesus can now have their dream come true. Not only will you make a new friend, but you will be supporting good hygiene and benefiting the environment by conserving water. There are no strings attached except that a picture of us, suitable for family viewing, will be taken and placed on this web site as a lasting tribute to our determined efforts at cleanliness.

Can anyone say...............................

[edit on 30/6/06 by JackofBlades]

so...your all judging me eh? sounds familiar...okay I'll quit trying to save you.
But in six years...when what I have foretold comes into being...don't say I didn't try.