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Am I Jesus?

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posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 07:44 AM
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Am I?
I mean, I could be, right?
Would I even know it?
Let's just assume that I am.

What if I was sent down from heaven with my jesus soul for human incarnation? And then, while I was getting accustomed to my human body, Lucifer sent an assassin to heaven who killed god. Now God, my pops, is dead. And thats why I aint heard nowt from him. And recently Lucifer invaded heaven and currently they are at war. From what i've been told, by voices in my head, it looks very much like Lucifer will win. Then he will march his armies down to earth to give humans hell.
But he doesn't know who I am? does he?
So if I can create a decent army of righteous folk to give him a ruckus, we might just have a chance of prevailing over evil.
So who's in?




posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 07:47 AM
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Are.....you serious????


God I hope not.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 07:48 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
Am I?
I mean, I could be, right?
Would I even know it?
Let's just assume that I am.

What if I was sent down from heaven with my jesus soul for human incarnation? And then, while I was getting accustomed to my human body, Lucifer sent an assassin to heaven who killed god. Now God, my pops, is dead. And thats why I aint heard nowt from him. And recently Lucifer invaded heaven and currently they are at war. From what i've been told, by voices in my head, it looks very much like Lucifer will win. Then he will march his armies down to earth to give humans hell.
But he doesn't know who I am? does he?
So if I can create a decent army of righteous folk to give him a ruckus, we might just have a chance of prevailing over evil.
So who's in?

Yes, but I can give you the same odds on you being Daffy Duck, the Tooth Fairy, Zaphod Beeblebrox or El Cid. I can also give you good odds on you being Hitler, Lenin, Stalin or Mao.
Tell the voices in your head to take two tylenol and go away.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 07:54 AM
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I would think that if you have to ask if you're Jesus, then chances are you're not.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 07:56 AM
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naysayers are not welcome in my army. Unless they change their attitude double quickshot!
Remember your either with me or your against me! And I wouldn't want to be against the son of god if I were you.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 07:59 AM
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Originally posted by Jenna
I would think that if you have to ask if you're Jesus, then chances are you're not.

Yes but god's been murder/death/killed so how else would I know? I mean I've got this feeling that I might be the son of god. It's a good feeling.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:06 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
Yes but god's been murder/death/killed so how else would I know? I mean I've got this feeling that I might be the son of god. It's a good feeling.


If 'Lucifer' killed/murdered 'God' then what chance in 'hell' do you think you have of defeating him?

How do you know 'God' is dead?

And what exactly are these 'voices in your head' telling you exactly? That you are 'Jesus'?

Edit: spelling



[edit on 6/29/2006 by pstiffy]



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:11 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
Am I?
I mean, I could be, right?
Would I even know it?
Let's just assume that I am.



..................NO............



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:14 AM
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Yes but god's been murder/death/killed so how else would I know? I mean I've got this feeling that I might be the son of god. It's a good feeling.


Yes, but there have been multiple people over the years who have thought they were the son of God. Then they end up drinking "Jesus Juice" and commit suicide so they can catch a ride on the comet. Seriously though, if God had been murdered by Lucifer then that would mean that God is not as all-powerful as the masses have been led to believe for hundreds of years. Ere-go, the voices in your head are either A) wrong or B) telling you that God is not omnipotent. The basis of Christian belief is that God is omnipotent, all-knowing, and everywhere. So either the voices in your head are wrong, or all of Christianity is a lie.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:16 AM
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I'm sorry child, you are not Jesus, Hey-zoos maybe, but not JC Superstar for sure.

I have been sent here to tell you, by the big ego you call by many names in all your various tongues and throughout the cycle of ages, that assasination squads don't really get far in heaven, see we have the 72 virgins they are promised just waiting at the door, and with that kind of action, well, its hard to get in the killing mood.

The devil, Lucifer as you named it, is nothing more than human guilt with a label, like something you mind purchase in bottle on a Friday evening or consume while viewing one of your running around after the sphere pass times.

I hope that clears things up for you.
If you have any more questions, I suggest you write a testament to yourself, send it through
the state sponsored message carrier, and then you wait for it to return to you. When you receive this testament, and when you receive it back to yourself, answer your own questions as if you received them from some confused teenager you never met.

Through these works you will find yourself, you who are not a messiah or saint or angel or any of that stuff.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:18 AM
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No offence, but I very much doubt you are Jesus... wait, it is said in the Bible that somebody will say he is Jesus, but infact, he is not... are you that person?!


Oh, and God isn't dead and He never will be.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:19 AM
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No! No! No! I know who the son of God is. Just like all those people who crucified him years ago? Ha Ha! If Jesus was to return all you Christians would call him blasphemous and probably lynch him yourselves!
How would it be any different from when the real Jesus made himself known ages ago? *psst, because you know deep down it's not true
* I'm not being entirely serious here, just wanting a discussion about these points.

[edit on 29-6-2006 by Xeros]



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:22 AM
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Originally posted by Jenna

Yes, but there have been multiple people over the years who have thought they were the son of God. Then they end up drinking "Jesus Juice" and commit suicide so they can catch a ride on the comet. Seriously though, if God had been murdered by Lucifer then that would mean that God is not as all-powerful as the masses have been led to believe for hundreds of years. Ere-go, the voices in your head are either A) wrong or B) telling you that God is not omnipotent. The basis of Christian belief is that God is omnipotent, all-knowing, and everywhere. So either the voices in your head are wrong, or all of Christianity is a lie.


right...forget the christians...they're not true believers, they just believe what they want to believe. Nothing is omnipotent. If god was omnipotent the there wouldn't be a hell and a crappy earth that has limited size and resources. God was just a very creative being who played with raw energy and created the universe. God was mega powerful but he wasn't invulnerable. Lucifer knew this and poltted a cunning plan that killed him. Right now angels in heaven are fighting for their lives. They have about six years before they are ultimately destroyed. We have six years before we are called into action.

You have six years to get your act together!!!! Are you ready for Armageddon?



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:24 AM
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Some people just blow my mind. How have we, as a species, made it this far with people like this running around. It amazes me. Truly.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:26 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
You have six years to get your act together!!!! Are you ready for Armageddon?


Sir, yes Sir!
I'm up for abit of a rumble... bring 'em on.


Nah, seriously, if Lucifer/Satan/Whatever wants a fight, I'll give him one. I probably won't win, but atleast I will have died trying.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:28 AM
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Originally posted by nyk537
Some people just blow my mind. How have we, as a species, made it this far with people like this running around. It amazes me. Truly.


Who do you mean? It's not that weird as the Idea has been around for over 2000 years


[edit on 29-6-2006 by Xeros]



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:29 AM
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Originally posted by xeroxed88

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
You have six years to get your act together!!!! Are you ready for Armageddon?


Sir, yes Sir!
I'm up for abit of a rumble... bring 'em on.


Nah, seriously, if Lucifer/Satan/Whatever wants a fight, I'll give him one. I probably won't win, but atleast I will have died trying.


Now that the right attitude!!! Your hired.



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:31 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy


right...forget the christians...they're not true believers, they just believe what they want to believe.


Who are the true believers?


Nothing is omnipotent.


We are all omnipotent, just not in our physical bodies



If god was omnipotent the there wouldn't be a hell

There isn't



and a crappy earth that has limited size and resources.

It has to be 'crappy' so we grow and learn through mistakes and lessons. If we all lived in a proverbial "Garden of Eden' we could never grow, there would be no duality to gain experience



God was mega powerful


Is he a power ranger?



They have about six years before they are ultimately destroyed. We have six years before we are called into action.


And who told you this?



You have six years to get your act together!!!! Are you ready for Armageddon?


If you are refering to the Mayan Calander, you should read what the Maya have to say. They never mention its "armageddon" or "The Rapture."

Every end is a new beginning



[edit on 6/29/2006 by pstiffy]



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:39 AM
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Well, are you puerto rican?



posted on Jun, 29 2006 @ 08:46 AM
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Why is this self invoked fantasy in the Conspiracies in Religions forum?

NN



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