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Am I Jesus?

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posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 01:52 AM
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Probably a start off of 5 beers, accompanied by 8 shots of Brandy, and finished off by 15 shots of Goose Vodka




A message to the kids: Don't drink alcohol or do drugs!




posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 02:56 AM
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I think some of you are being a bit harsh with the, "He's obviously drunk" comments. If you've got nothing good to say, don't say it.



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 02:58 AM
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Thread goes silent..............



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 03:09 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
So if I can create a decent army of righteous folk to give him a ruckus, we might just have a chance of prevailing over evil.
So who's in?

I'm in



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 06:00 AM
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You made the right decision Johantino.

As for all the drink and drug slurs...I will forgive you...but only if you sign up.



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 06:07 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
I will forgive you...but only if you sign up.


Now I'm 100% sure you're not Jesus.

By the way, you do know blasphemy is a sin, right?



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 06:18 AM
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Now 'm 100% sure you're not Jesus.

By the way, you do know blasphemy is a sin, right?


yeah I know that, of course I know that. I am the spawn of god(I'm gonna miss that guy) remember?

And how can you be so sure im not jesus? just because I offered conditional forgiveness instead of unconditional? These days my friend, unless you lay down some sort of rules, people will just walk all over you. And this Jesus ain't gonna take it any more.
Jesus is pissed! The almighty is dead and soon hell will reign on earth. I need an army in order to stop it!
Once again...Are you with me or are you against me?

[edit on 30-6-2006 by surrender_dorothy]



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 06:24 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy

Once again...Are you with me or are you against me?


Neither, I'm completely neutral. The events in discussion have been prophecised, therefore, they WILL happen, no matter what kind of army you have.

You do realise that Jesus will come from the skies... not from ATS? Did you come from the skies when people least expected it? Did you come from the skies for the whole world to see?

I think not.

Edit to add:

Jesus forgives people and doesn't ask for things in return. Greed is a sin, you're breaking alot of rules so far, hence, I don't believe you are Jesus.

[edit on 30-6-2006 by xeroxed88]



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 06:41 AM
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there's just no way to get through to some people...



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 08:04 AM
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I'm in too! Fighting evil has always been a hobby of mine. Looks like you are giving us the chance to do it professionally



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 08:13 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
there's just no way to get through to some people...


Well, I consider myself very open minded, but there is a difference between being open minded and completely gullible.

I have put up a good argument and yet you imply that I am ignorant without even discussing the points I have put across.



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 08:59 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
Once again...Are you with me or are you against me?


That doesn't sound like something a benevolent saviour would say. You obviously seem to believe that you are Jesus which, as I have previously stated, is a main symptom of schizophrenia.
I suggest a psychoanalytical study.

As for your hermaphroditism: Are you female or male? Do you have a vagina or a penis? Do you have breasts? I highly doubt that you are a true hermaphrodite as the number of true hermaphrodites is extremely low.

And I don't recall Jesus ever being a hermaphrodite for that matter...Wasn't he the SON of Man?



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 10:15 AM
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Originally posted by G_man
I'm in too! Fighting evil has always been a hobby of mine. Looks like you are giving us the chance to do it professionally


You've made the right choice G_man, you are an example to others.
I'll make you my right hand.
Be sure to spread the word and gather your own recruits. Remember we only have six years to gather our army before Evil descends upon us.
We must be ready!



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 10:19 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
there's just no way to get through to some people...


And claiming to be Jesus is the best way you can come up with to 'get through to people'?

Jesus!


I'm sure you've been reminded of the Terms and Conditions of posting here on ATS?



1). Posting: You will not post any material that is knowingly false, misleading, or inaccurate.
...
2a.) Identity Spoofing: You will not impersonate any person or entity...



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 11:15 AM
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Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
there's just no way to get through to some people...


And claiming to be Jesus is the best way you can come up with to 'get through to people'?

Jesus!


I'm sure you've been reminded of the Terms and Conditions of posting here on ATS?



1). Posting: You will not post any material that is knowingly false, misleading, or inaccurate.
...
2a.) Identity Spoofing: You will not impersonate any person or entity...


I'm not Identity Spoofing in any way. Nor am I posting false, misleading, or inaccurate information. I'm not forcing you to believe me. It's up to you.
You could say it's a matter of faith. I know what I say is true and whether you believe me or not is irrelevant. What is important is that you join me in this battle against Lucifer's army. So, what do you say?
You with me?



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 11:27 AM
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I think your a beer short of a six pack. Something big will happen in 6 years, but I sincerely doubt that it'll be the ultimate battle between good and evil. It'll probebly be a new beginning for us all, something that will take everyone by surprise.



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 11:29 AM
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Originally posted by MacDonagh
I think your a beer short of a six pack. Something big will happen in 6 years, but I sincerely doubt that it'll be the ultimate battle between good and evil. It'll probebly be a new beginning for us all, something that will take everyone by surprise.


I don't drink. Or do drugs. That would be self destructive.



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 11:30 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
You with me?


Not on your life.



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 11:33 AM
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Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
I'm not Identity Spoofing in any way. Nor am I posting false, misleading, or inaccurate information.


You're not claiming to be Jesus?



I'm not forcing you to believe me.


That's irrelevant as regards the Terms and Conditions of posting here. If you say you are someone you aren't or post false information as fact, you are breaking the T&C of this board, regardless if anyone believes you or not. That has no bearing on the situation.



posted on Jun, 30 2006 @ 11:41 AM
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Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic

Originally posted by surrender_dorothy
I'm not Identity Spoofing in any way. Nor am I posting false, misleading, or inaccurate information.


You're not claiming to be Jesus?



I'm not forcing you to believe me.


That's irrelevant as regards the Terms and Conditions of posting here. If you say you are someone you aren't or post false information as fact, you are breaking the T&C of this board, regardless if anyone believes you or not. That has no bearing on the situation.


right...this is getting tiring...let me clarify. I am not "claiming" to be the Jesus Christ who lived about two thousand years ago. No, no, no. I am "declaring" to be the reincarnated form of Jesus Christ.
The 'second coming' if you will? Has that cleared things up for you?



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