The Neverending Story

CLIMAX SPRINGS, Missouri, where I wonder how the town got its name.

I find an old woman with a rocking chair, shotgun and jug of ale sitting on her porch.
After dodging her shots and convincing her I don't want to steal her watermelon, she tells me........

"Boy,...the ale ain't for me, its for you. Have a couple swigs while I get out of my clothes.".....

and thus, at least one of the New Worlds mysteries was unravelled. The next day, he awoke and found that.......

.............a Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka was looking at him , he was paralyzed instantly with its gaze..................................

so then the previously mentioned old woman immediately kissed the frog. And of course the frog turned into a Prince. But this was no ordinary Prince. He had special mystical powers. His name, by the way, was.........

Prince Offious De Laughafist of the cyborganaunts, an he has come with a urgent message for the people, he has come to say......

Soylent Green isn't people.....



KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN IS!!!

His words have a huge impact on......

Colonel Sanders, of course. Who did you think. Upon realising this, the Colonel was overjoyed, since his hatcheries were not producing enough chickens to meet the demand for the regular and crispy varieties, he now realised that he had a plentiful source of KFC right there before his eyes all along. Especially disgruntled employees and rude patrons of his humble establishment.

Stories of this soon abounded everywhere. There then was an investigation by some of ATS best investigators. It all turned out to be a hoax, perpetrated by none other than......

[edit on 6/17/2006 by Mechanic 32]

Springer!

Using his newfound powers of broadcasting, he began sending subliminal messages to the public, ordering them to................

eat geese in his new marketing strategy. After all no-one likes to eat geese, so Springer had now found a niche in the market to exploit and by his broadcasting powers, he set out upon his journey to brainwash thee people of the world into liking the meaty goose. He strarted by...........................

using subliminal messaging within the posts on a discussion board that he co-owns. The other owners, were unaware of his secret agenda. Thus culminating yet another conspiracy. The people most responsible for conspiring with him were......

the CEOs at Tyson, yes they have dominated the chicken an turkey market an now thinks geese is a awesome aspect to rake in more money. With his super sticky sneaky spy squad they attempt to plan out a mission for............

...fifty foot yacht they plan on using to sail the Ocean Blue. Now the ship they acquired, came with a Captain that had an ever growing fetish of wanting to collect She Shells by the She Shore while wearing a speedo and singing the choruses of every single Led Zepplin song.

This was frowned down upon by society, so the majority felt....

Execution was the answer.

With his own speedos, the man was hung on a gallows under which burned a pyre. The flames were being fanne by none other than Led Zeppelin
"Thats for ruining us pervert!"

.... And the masses cheered ....

..while the powers that be smugly looked on and chuckled to themselves. Foolish humans, little do they know the workings of the universe.

Originally posted by MrPenny
..while the powers that be smugly looked on and chuckled to themselves. Foolish humans, little do they know the workings of the universe.

and the answer to life itself - 42......... Hang on 4 + 2 = 6, 6 x 4 x 2 = 48, 4 + 8 = 12, 1 + 2 = 3, 3 x 42 = 126, 1 + 26 = 27, 27 x 42 = 1134, 1134 + 42 = 1176. 1176 leads to this Here where it states:

The purpose of this section is to discover unexpected connections between various material and occult phenomena. A great resource for mathematicians. Notable Events for over 2000 years of history

So what was made of this source of incredible nonsence was..................

[edit on 19-6-2006 by Xeros]

the ultimate recipe for Jewish cornbeef hash sandwich, at last it was gonna be theres, but only one thing stoped them, they didnt have the golden..............

[edit on 19-6-2006 by Tranceopticalinclined]

frablamatic hash glonder....Absolutely needed to complete the incredibly complex layering of corned beef in the perfect hash 'sam'ich'. Without it, the epic epicurean endeavor would be for naught. The fearless leader had an idea!!.......

He had decided to forego the previously mentioned delicasies, in favor of something entirely different. This was a secret he had held closely. He has an insatiable fetish for.....