The Neverending Story

Dragonfly larvae.

He recalled the days he used to spend as a wee mite catching them out of lakes and popping them in his mouth.

Finger-licking good!

And extremely difficult, as everyone knows dragonfly larvae have itty-bitty fingers. This is much like the problem found with mothballs.

Feeling the urge to get the story back on track, (often experienced as a 'gurgling' sensation in the lower belly) our hero and his minions, (he keeps them in his 'minion sack', hanging from his wide red sash), starts the engine in the dagnabit sedan, (has six wheels pointing left and right, and 5 wheels that point up and down), and promptly loses his complete train-of-thought.

What is that coming over the hill?......

It's xeros and his knights of the square table, here to save the day! Whilst riding the caddilacky wit da fo fo reeyams, an dat peeyamp sheeat woop woop exhaust. The first knight to step out dem scissay doors was..............................

Mechanic, of course. Reaching for his binoculars to survey the area, he found a strange map. The inscription upon it, did not appear to be of this world. So, desperately needing to find someone who could decypher it, he sought the ayde of........................

JackofBlades. It was well known that Jack was the master of lore and all things old and generally mysterious in these here parts.

Jack looked at the writing, then slowly raised a hand to his chin.

The hand wheeled through the air and caught Mechanic on the cheek.

"ITS UPSIDE DOWN YOU FOOO'!"

Jack spun the map around, revealing the characters, OMASKA. Raising his scepter to the heavens he thundered, "We must descend on Omaska and despoil its beauties!!!"

Mechanic, from safely out of reach, rubbed his cheek, thankful the wallet in his hip pocket had taken the brunt of the blow. If Jack had been taller than 48 inches, he might have actually done some damage. "Say Jack, maybe you should completely unfold that there map?"

"Oh hell," Jack muttered, "I never can refold these things." The tiny terror became eclipsed by the immense map. Spelled out across the top of the map, OMAHA, NEBRASKA. "Aw nuts, there's nothing in Omaha but......

"The rare Omahaian gold encrusted anaconda with diamond fangs. We'll never get rich despoiling their beauties.
"BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD GUYS!"

And so it was that the band of ATSers came up with their most diabolical, evil, dastardly, MANIACAL scheme ever.

[edit on 21/6/06 by JackofBlades]

they were gonna set out an rob the world of its Color Yellow..... Yes yellow has for some reason or another bothered them greatly, so with the help of Trance an his Invention "the Splendiferious-color-refablicator" they went out to steal the color yellow from everything they laid eyes apon....

about 3 weeks into their ordeal one noticed...............

[edit on 22-6-2006 by Tranceopticalinclined]

Jack used the defabrilicator (spelling?) to take the yellow from the teeth of a piece of danged trailer trash, and wondered "When exactly did we become villains?"

In an instant the thought is gone as he realises being bad.......................feels so damn good!

...but he hadn't realized yet that defibrillicators (sp) come in two varieties, according to the color they're designed to expunge, and that yellow-expunging defibs were of the kind, mild and gentelmanly persuasion, so the device, having come out of a two-year state of induced coma, and seeing that it was being used by an evil mind, proceeded to...

Grab a beer and watch T.V. Whilst watching, he realised that there was a new channel dedicated to his favorite hobby, the greatest hobby in the world, which is...................

catching turkey vultures with his bare hands. He learned the secrets to successfully do this from his mentor, who is named.....

Krotchgrabbrman the Sweaty.

Now some of you may think that Krotchgrabbrman the Sweaty is a normal run of the mill kind of guy, but secretly, Krotchgrabbrman the Sweaty is actually...........

Now some of you may think that Krotchgrabbrman the Sweaty is a normal run of the mill kind of guy, but secretly, Krotchgrabbrman the Sweaty is actually...........

That ''GUY'', that runs the football games fields, stark naked!
''Who would have known''!
:shk:
And all because his wife found him with another woman and decided to cut out a big HOLE where his crotch, or is that crutch, was meant to go.
(boy ,what am i doing!)
And now he goes on sweating and grabbing what he can......His name is ''Krotchgrabbraman'', the Sweaty.
However, all is not lost , he has the makings of a ..............


:shk:
please don't .......

...top secret Philly cheesesteak sandwich loaded to the greasy brim with a special secret sauce that the CIA is trying to get its' hands on. But K-Sweat mustn't let this happen because...

the reptilians will find out, as they have long ago infiltrated that Gov't organization. If they had this, nothing would stop their plot to.......

Kill David Icke and take over ATS wearing his skin like hannibal lecter and parading around like he owns the place, even posting his picture in "photos of Members" to proove it. Eventually they would implant a virus on the board that would........................

Get rid of patent infringing threads like BTS Improv, which seems to be a copycat of this dying thread. Even the Great Thread Creator Xeros had been taken in by the illicit plot, and was seen trolling the aforementioned thread. Mechanic, exclaimed to Xeros, "Stand up for your rights, and protect your patent!" lol

and with that Xeros came up with a cunning plan to beat the battle of the threads. The plan was to........................