BTS, 22 October 2005
ThreadKillers Anonymous Update
Revellers celebrated their 100th post today in a bacchanal of merriment, mountain dew and kitty litter. President of the society of ThreadKillers
Anonymous, Zaphod (el Generalisimo) 58, was quoted as saying:
"The insurgency of dangerous threads on ATS has gone on long enough. It is time someone had the courage to put an end to it."
Members were seen dancing, lounging on throw cushions and eating from the vast buffet of all you can eat Lou 'Ferrigamo' donuts.
Asked to comment on the current release of TK names in Above Top Secret; Minister of the Interior, Tinkle (Sankaliciuos) Flower, declined to comment,
as her mouth was too full of chocolate donut. Sitting beside her, was her partner in choco-crime Oni XX. "Vote for me," said Ms.O.
Fritz the Cat, official TKA mascot was also present at the festivities, swinging from the rafters and teaching TKA Intern, Blanketgirl how to do the
lambada. Mr Fritz has been in BTS news recently, after starting controversial threads such as 'PC or non PC' and 'This is my
Membership has expanded to over a dozen new recruits in the last few days. Illustrious posters such as Anxietydisorder, Spacedoubt and even Cargo made
an appearance at the celebration. Queen (Viper) Annie, TKA's official ThreadSlayer could not attend the festivities as she was on recon duty and
Newest council member and second in command Duzey, had this to say about TKA: 'People need to take a stance man. They need to know what they do is
guaranteed to provoke the people and...' Number two was then distracted by a pair of the Press Secretary's Ferragamos.
TK experts Dulcimer and Voidmaster were too busy fighting over the leftover donuts to comment. Voidmaster was overheard trying to convince Dulcimer
that they should start a new post about the physical impossibilities of shrinkage in Dr. David Banner's wardrobe during his 'green' phase.
Also present at the TKA headquarters were numerous ATS members who while not part of the TKA community, decided they wanted to discuss and debate the
concept of irony to a group of people who live and breathe it daily.
'Iron this,' said Fitz the Cat leading the group in a congo-line to the 80's Miami Sound Machine classic Doctor Beat.
'Yeah, that's why we like started this thread,' said Zaphod58 chomping on an unlit cigar and giving the cameras the old Nixon peace sign. Come to
think of it, maybe TF taught him the British V sign and he got it wrong.
'People like us need to have a place to discuss all the world's impossibilities in a space where we feel comfortable, appreciated, safe and able to
rant and rave as much as we...
(Cut due to excessive verbiage)