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09 August, 2005
Actor Christopher Walken to run as Candidate in 2008 Presidential Race
For Immediate Release
New York - Early today, actor Christopher Walken, 62, held a private conference at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York in which he announced his intentions to run for the Presidency of the United States in the 2008 Election.
Said the Queens native, “I have always been a follower of politics. My father was friends with the mayor of Schodack (NY) back in the 1940’s. We would walk the streets of Schodack and the people, they would wave to him. The children adored him. That is what I love to be, a man of respect and love.”
From a statement by Walken's agent, Toni Howard: “Mr. Walken has greatly admired the celebrities who have entered politics and he wants to be able to give a good name and reputation to the acting community as well as the political community. As for going national with this news we have not made any plans for the immediate future."
Because Mr. Walken is currently contracted for more than one film production, the Walken campaign manager Michael Hansee admitted that there would be relatively minimal publicity at this early stage. "[Mr. Walken] has a full plate right now, acting in a number of different films, and can't start any personal campaign work until these obligations are fulfilled," he commented. "We're looking to spread the word and build a little support base with our website, in preparation for a full campaign in early 2007."
The campaign website is patriotic-themed, with the tag-line "To Get America Back on Track." Hansee stated that the campaign is hoping to drum up early support through their online presence, much like Howard Dean did in the 2004 race.
"Our great country is in a terrible downward spiral. We're outsourcing jobs, bankrupting social security, and losing lives at war. We need to focus on what's important-- paying attention to our children, our citizens, our future. We need to think about improving our failing educational system, making better use of our resources, and helping to promote a stable, safe, and tolerant global society. It's time to be smart about our politics. It's time to get America back on track."
When can I learn more about the platform?
Please understand that the platform is being written by Mr. Walken himself, and will take some time.
The entire campaign, including registration of multiple Web domain names, is an elaborate hoax being perpetrated by members of the General Mayhem forums, one of the largest message boards on the Internet.
“[That site] made me laugh,” says spokeswoman Mara Buxbaum. “Chris has no involvement with it whatsoever. Chris doesn’t even own a computer — he doesn’t know from computers. I suspect it might be some prankster who enjoyed seeing Chris as secretary of state in ‘Wedding Crashers’ and now thinks he should run for president.”
Originally posted by RANT
Values: I like dogs. Do you... like dogs? I do. You know why I like dogs? Dogs have tails.
People: People... should have tails. Dog have tails. I like dogs. People... I don't like so much.