The GREAT 2020 Toilet Paper Panic Conspiracy?

I decided instead of wasting my time trying to find toilet paper, I'm going for the holy grail.

I've locked myself in one of the research labs at work. I dumped all the workload off one of our supercomputers and have had it running non stop since Monday on a solution to the 3 seashells.

I'm close, real close, to a final solution.

Any other ideas why the GREAT 2020 toilet paper panic,

a reply to: Raggedyman

You still haven't understood that the majority of people on planet earth are full of sheet? they cover all spectrums of life including the smart and not so smart.

I picked up my [3] 45 roll bundles of Scott's from Walmart [3] weeks ago. I wrote on another thread that I was going to do so.

Why? Because its NOT about Coronavirus its about how the millions of people react to it. I also dont like tree leaves and by the way they haven't grown yet.

Plus get some wood or charcoal as man needs FIRE to survive!

What's funny is at our HEB, the national and more expensive brands are pretty low and almost out, but the cheap brands are pretty stocked 😂

Wierd, right?

a reply to: underwerks

Pond water is also good, it has a little algae and frog excrement for that extra boost . Plus the smell is almost but not quite as good as the floral bouquet that NY mayor has on his fingers that he likes people to smell.

a reply to: ThouArtGod

Dude- that’s an actual LOL from me. Coffee on my uniform now, thanks.

As for my neighbors, I offered to take them all shopping if need be, and I’m happy to help with labor during a crisis, but out 120 day supply is family first.

Then it’s time for ol’ trusty and I to do some shopping, or if needed, prevent some shopping on my land.

LOL
What an excellent member. I capped on you pretty hard and you didn't
bat an eye.
Sorry about the u-form amigo!

This pandemic will go down in history on paper as the Sheetiest epidemic in history.

originally posted by: F2d5thCavv2
a reply to: Raggedyman

It is like when a new boss arrives and that person confiscates the key to the toilet.

By making people come to him/her and ask for the key, he/she forces them to acknowledge the new boss ... we'll all have to go to the authorities for crapper paper, thereby acknowledging their lordship over us

Cheers

here:

It was predicted in a cartoon we will need vast amounts of toilet paper in the futurama

theinfosphere.org...

originally posted by: CraftyArrow
a reply to: FlyingSquirrel

sanitizer has been gone for weeks here... I too have a 20oz bottle I bought several months ago and it's still full.... doesn't make sense to panic buy sanitizer when it last so long.... unless people are bathing in it lol...

I purchased 2 gallons of Cossack Vodka when all the sanitizer disappeared. Mix 4-1 with water and you have all the hand sanitizer you need plus you can have a Vodka martini after you wash up.

As far as TP is concerned, If you have a pine tree... well the cones were what our early ancestors used... probably BigFoot as well.

a reply to: dawnstar


Damn...talk about good luck. I'm glad none of the crazies jacked it from you.

I would like to add a word of caution. Be careful whom you are bragging about your toilet paper supply to. If people are loosing their $### now, just wait until they start running out of their own toilet paper stash. I would apply this caution to anyone hording paper towels and napkins as well.

My girl is on Walmart...com as I type buying ton's of water, toilet paper and bleach they are out of bleach wipes and single serve bottled water .

originally posted by: mikell
I'll post this again

Whats going on in Montana

A local woman bought 2 cases to send to her daughter in Montana because she can't get any there.



True story from Southwest Michigan

I live in Montana.

Yes, we are a little rural.

However, someone should tell the poor child that we still have a postman and an internet connection and there is an amazing thing on the interwebz called Amazon.com.

Better prices than local, which incidentally is stocked.

a reply to: Raggedyman

Not everyone's cup a tea im sure.

But quite ballsy really.

It should be obvious by now to anyone woke enough that this virus was released by the TP cartels, they only care about selling out of rolls people, wake up.

a reply to: Raggedyman

Not saying its aliens BUUUUT..

Yup, aliens.

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

It's not Methamphetamine people will be knocking out in their bathtubs and basements, soon it will be black market Hand Sanitiser.

My wife just sent me an emergency text saying the two Costcos she went to were all out of toilet paper.

I went to the local jewel grocery store... and price gouging there for toilet paper and paper towels was insane. Only a few left and they were $9 for a four pack.

i am just waiting for the first reports of :

toiletpaper theft - from municipal and commercial public access toilets

in 20018 - office workes stole copier paper from thier place of work - in 2020 - it will be .......................

a reply to: ignorant_ape

Dirty wrong'yins are already pocketing the hand sanitizer from the bottom of hospital beds, outside wards, and toilets.

When plain hot water and soap works just the same.

Canny believe how low some people will go really.

It's like the muppets that steal defibrillators ffs.

TP is soooo last week
I've cornered the market on refreshing, flushable moist towelettes!
🤗