School gives nonverbal Autistic boy most annoying student award

originally posted by: OtherSideOfTheCoin

originally posted by: ScepticScot
a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

Didnt think there would be a thread where I agree with Gambler rather than you, but you are coming across as a total dick.

Might be worth thinking about.

And I honestly don’t care

People being dicks generally don't.

a reply to: Grambler

If child is beyond teachers ability to control or teach than the appropriate response from teacher is to send a note or phone parents and ask them to come in and have a sit down so teacher and parents can discus how best to help this child and parents may have a special technique to calm child the teacher does not know about that parents may be able to share at said meeting calling out a special needs child like this is crass and as I stated if it was my child depending on sex of teacher would likely end in a bitch slap across room by me or my spouse. Children who have no special needs can be a real hand full to deal with so I can not imagine how parents with special needs do it and my heart goes out to them .

could be discrimination but then again maybe this kid is just really annoying, not all disabled people are nice and just because he has autism doesn't mean he cant be a little #. autism doesn't mean they can't understand how to behave, they aren't stupid, hell i had a friend with downs that did better in school than i did and he was really nice and polite.

mental disability doesn't make people annoying.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I do and I don't.

This is somewhat personal for me because I've maybe been in a position close to what this family has been put in. Let me explain.

Prior to his kindergarten year and after it, our son has been a wonderful citizen in every place we've ever sent him - every class, every camp, every activity. Sure, he's had a moment here and there where he's gotten a reprimand, but most kids have their moments. It's never been anything that hasn't been easily fixed, nor has it been anything beyond normal kid behavior. Certainly we've never had anything like a suspension or anything like that, nothing truly serious.

Rolling into kindergarten, we had no reason to expect this pattern would deviate in any way at all.

But in kindergarten we hit the perfect storm. He had two undiagnosed learning disabilities, a school curriculum that fed right into one of them, and a teacher who was a strict disciplinarian who saw us a family of two older parents of a single child. So when he started to do what little boys with learning disabilities often do to avoid their areas of difficulty - act out - she naturally assumed he was a defiant spoiled brat and that we were permissive parents.

So for the entire year, she tried to force a kid who's issue was a learning disability that prevents him from being able to do handwriting to write perfectly and quickly and then force a kid with about 60% hearing accuracy to obey complex instructions instantly and perfectly, and when he failed to be able to do it and/or acted out and/or melted down because he couldn't and never could please her ... she chalked it up to emotional immaturity and open defiance and lack of discipline in the home. And she cracked down on him harder and made the problems worse.

And when we tried to suggest to her that this was completely unlike him, her assumptions that we were permissive parents who had spoiled our only child undermined us, and she never would listen to us. My husband negotiates with people all over the world as part of his job, and *he* couldn't get a word in edgewise with her to try to explain to her that we thought our son might have a dysgraphia and his behavior might be avoidance related.

So by the end of the year, I was near to a nervous breakdown trying to cope with both her and my son who was openly and seriously telling me he wished he'd never been born. Oh, and when I told her that, she said she didn't like to hear and in the next breath asked if I was sure he wasn't manipulating me! My point in all this is to say that I'm pretty sure if anyone would give a child a "most annoying" award, this lady would be a candidate.

Sometimes, you just do get toxic teachers.

From the district's website:

The staff, parents and community of Bailly Preparatory Academy are committed to challenging our academically able student body to their highest potential.

We hold high expectations that each student will have a successful transition to middle school and develop and/or maintain a positive self-image, a strong academic foundation, employability skills, and an awareness of professional and career options.

Each student will strive to be productive, responsible, and caring citizen in a diverse, global and technological world through an accelerated and enriched differentiated curriculum for academically advanced students.

Gary Community School Corporation

Maybe the school should focus on its performance rather than giving out awards for things which do nothing to address said performance:

The percentage of students achieving proficiency in Math is 26% (which is lower than the Indiana state average of 55%) for the 2015-16 school year. The percentage of students achieving proficiency in Reading/Language Arts is 42% (which is lower than the Indiana state average of 64%) for the 2015-16 school year.

Bailly Preparatory Academy placed in the bottom 50% of all schools in Indiana for overall test scores (math proficiency is bottom 50%, and reading proficiency is bottom 50%) for the 2015-16 school year.

Public School Review

My middle son is autistic (high functioning) and recently graduated with honors, this incenses me greatly.

Haven't read all of the thread just yet, I'm working my way through it, so this may have been since posted or it may not. On the chance that it has not, here is an update for the persons responsible:

GARY — The Gary Community School Corp. has taken its first steps in firing three teachers related to the awarding last month of a "Most Annoying Male" trophy to a fifth grade student who has autism.

The three Bailly Preparatory Academy teachers have been served a preliminary determination notice of contract cancellation following an internal investigation led by outside legal counsel, according to a statement from the school district.
...
The school's principal, Carlita Royal, has been placed on paid administrative leave pending further investigation by outside legal counsel and Gary's human resources department, according to the statement.

Gary teachers to be fired after 'Most Annoying Male' trophy given to student with autism, school district says

From what I can determine, this is not a school geared only to special needs students but rather an open attendance public school.

Back to catching up on the thread.

a reply to: namehere

i had a friend with downs that did better in school than i did

So much makes sense now!

originally posted by: jadedANDcynical

From what I can determine, this is not a school geared only to special needs students but rather an open attendance public school.

Back to catching up on the thread.

Thanks for all the updates, my son attends an open school, and is high functioning autistic also, my heart leapt with joy to hear of your sons fantastic achievements, there is no doubt the potential to learn is there it just needs the right enviroment, I think this thread is a microcosm of greater society, people expect autisitc sufferers to bend to our world, maybe if we all just took a moment to appreciate someone maybe autistic, life would be easier for them.

Anyone who is not autistic has the skills to take the world on , wether that is with love or hate, this is a video about how an autistic person sees the world, can you imagine how difficult it is to then deal with other people who have no mental disabilities just being a dick, which there will always be in the world, this is'nt a plea to anyone in this thread, just as with Jaded more information to try and help others understand, before being so down on people with a condition that is not visible, I think that is part of the problem, if a disability is clearly visible, most people do their upmost to assist

The choosing of my sons secondary school (11+ UK) was as intense a decision I have made as a parent, luckily my local authority allow me to have choice of any school in the district, based on my sons medical condition, it's then my responsibility to get there, no government assistance if i choose a school over 1mile away (i chose a school which is 16miles away), the school is an open mainstream school, the option for special needs is unfortunately limited and more severe autistc non verbal children deserve those places, my sons school has been nothing short of fantastic in there approach to supporting him

Last week was exams/tests for his next year, with some days the timetable being 3 different subjects in one day, the school allowed us to reduce it down to 2 per day, every child should be given the best oppurtunity for the individual, as once we become adults, the world shizz on us all equally.



3 minutes of your life, a lifetime for someone who is autistic,

a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

haha funny, but honestly mister smart guy why the insult? i may not be a very good writer and communicator but i don't ever recall attacking you or anyone else like that.

a reply to: namehere

You made it too easy

a reply to: UpIsNowDown

Thanks for all the updates, my son attends an open school, and is high functioning autistic also, my heart leapt with joy to hear of your sons fantastic achievements, there is no doubt the potential to learn is there it just needs the right enviroment, I think this thread is a microcosm of greater society, people expect autisitc sufferers to bend to our world, maybe if we all just took a moment to appreciate someone maybe autistic, life would be easier for them.

You're quite welcome.

Not only did he graduate with honors, but he has a 2nd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, teaches young students at his Dojang, was given an award by his peer students as being, "Most Spirited," was a member of the homecoming court, and only only missed being named homecoming king by a few votes. He is definitely not letting his autism place limits on his achievements.

It sounds like the student in question referenced in the OP is indeed deep in the spectrum ad as such likely has a highly modified IEP (individual education program) in place for him in regards to his academic and behavioral standards which take into account his autism; my son did throughout school. His were as simple as allowing him a bit more time to take tests in which time was a factor because it sometimes took him a little longer to work out what was being asked.

That a teacher thought nothing of presenting a "most annoying student" award to anyone much less to someone on the spectrum tells me that the teacher in question might not be well suited to helping form young minds.

I've seen posters try and excuse this because of the fact that it was stated that the student really didn't understand what the award meant, but that says nothing of how other students (who aren't on the spectrum) views the presentaiton of the award. By giving such an award in the first place, it gives a measure of justification to those who would denigrate anyone whom is seen as different.

I'm all for giving adults rations of # both in a teasing and in a serious manner when ti is deserved. Children, who are still in the process of forming their outlook on life, should be built up and given whatever strength can be imparted to them before life kicks them in the nuts.

a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

ok... so no reason i guess, whatever then. maybe it was a joke? hard to tell from text on a screen.

a reply to: jadedANDcynical

Do you want to no what the worst trait of Autism is (of this you will be fully aware) they are to loving/trusting ,its a shame the rest of the world is'nt, as its no bad thing really, its just others will look to judge/take advantage,

I hope not to patronise you, you dont need my aknowledgment, but i raise my glass to you and your family

a reply to: jadedANDcynical

Ah, another kid into tae kwon do? Did it help him as much as it's helped ours, and ours is also extremely goal oriented. I'm so proud of that about him. You can sit him down and map out what it will take for him to achieve something, and if he really wants it, he'll work toward it.

It took him about the first training cycle to decide whether or not he was in on it, and then it clicked and he wanted belts and his black belt. He's now well over halfway there and getting into the competitive side of things.

a reply to: Onlyyouknow

Excellent. And, hopefully the teachers involved as well as the principal who are fully functioning neurotypicals will now have their own "award" - a nice black mark on their credentials for the rest of their lives. Let them think about that when remembering the shiny award they gave/allowed to a CHILD who has no ability to control their behaviour.

Aside from the debate about whether the child should be in such a school, the point is a teacher is someone who should always be a safe person, that doesn't favor or neglect any child but treats them all with respect and empathy. It is not only their job, but part of one's human compass.

Whatever the reasons, the other point is that it is not the child's fault for being in that class or fault for his condition. He didn't need to be publicly mocked. He didn't need any award and if anyone felt the need to hand out an award, one which recognized his smile or favorite shoes would have been sufficient.

a reply to: namehere

It's okay. Simply refer to post #8 above, from yours, by ScepticScot.

thanks, makes sense now, normally i don't track back like that or read beyond the OP or something that catches my attention, too much to remember without getting lost.

honestly i often wish i wasn't treated "special" as a kid for my disability, it really messes you up for life when you aren't part of normal classes and social circles, I've only noticed the problem within the last few years. turning 36 in 15 days so it's too late to really fix the problem.

the only teacher from back then that i remember is the one that didn't treat me special and even gave me iss for peeling out in the dirt by her class room trailer (school was under construction).

so when i read this thread i thought nothing much about it, i mean some of us disabled people can be pretty annoying and mean, even violent on occasion, especially at that age. people do indeed overreact to such things happening too easily, especially when us disabled have more important issues that are never addressed.

a reply to: efabian

It's one thing to mock and pick on someone who can understand and defend themselves, it's another to mock and pick on someone who has no understanding of it and CANNOT defend themselves! Do you not see this?

As a father of two healthy boys I am thankful. But if the boy in this story was my child, I'd have left that teachers teeth all over the floor along with every other parents who thought the "award" was funny/deserving of the same!

I know people like you. Use the old adage of "life is tough, suck it up" as an excuse to pick on lesser fortunate people than yourself. Basically you're a bullying # bag, and I hope you get humiliated in public somewhere soon!

originally posted by: CynConcepts

originally posted by: Zelun
Superlatives are supposed to be joke awards, like being roasted. I think it was a good joke, it’s acknowledging that the kid is held to the same standard as everyone else and was found to be annoying. That is empowering. The dad has no reason to be insulted. His kid is forging a path he can never understand, or if he could he would realize that this is the highest form of flattery. His moderately disabled son has gained acceptance enough to be ribbed. Butt out dad

I disagree. The other students seemed to receive positive re-inforcement awards. This autistic child seemed to be singled out negatively. Why? As a parent, I would have been insulted as well. If the award said he was the 'most energetic', it would have reflected the truth of his disruptive actions in a more positive light and this would be a non-story. He would have been held in the same positive standard as other students then. As it is, he was not.

According to the father's statement, the kid was stoked to receive an award because "it was shiny." What are you getting on about? The child is not negatively affected in any way, at least he wouldn't have been if it were not for the faux outrage I'm sure he sensed from his parents.

What if "annoying" was an inside joke between the teacher and the kid? We'll never know. All we know is that the kid liked the award, and a special education teacher might lose her job because the parents got upset that their autistic child got an award with variously interpretable verbiage. Oh, we also know that the family was moving to a new town, so it would be the last time the teacher got to interact with the kid.

I mean, reporting is spotty. The Times is saying they're filing a FOIA on tuesday, but all we really have to go on is the statement made by the father and mother, then the legalese from the school district's "emergency manager."

ETA: oh yeah, we also know the name of the school was misspelled on the plaque on the award, so, you know, maybe the dad did it for a publicity stunt? It's weird all over. If it was the only award with a typo that would probably a separate order from the rest of them.

originally posted by: NotSoBigG
a reply to: efabian
...

As a father of two healthy boys I am thankful. But if the boy in this story was my child, I'd have left that teachers teeth all over the floor along with every other parents who thought the "award" was funny/deserving of the same!

...

And you'd be seeing those two (now homeless) healthy boys on Thursday's during visiting hours at the Indiana State Penitentiary! Oh, and the teachers? Well, they would have long since retired, choosing instead to relax on the beach somewhere on the proceeds from the sale of every one of your earthly belongings to pay the civil lawsuits and judgements against you.

Real smart move, Ida Dunn!

a reply to: Grambler

that # is just cruel!

absolutely zero compassion

all involved should be either suspended , docked pay or ultimately let go , because that # just doesnt fly!