The Shed 22

a reply to: Night Star
I got in trouble with my sister in law for sending him this. I guess he was doing it for days.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Knowing you, I would imagine you get in trouble a lot. LOL

Hello everyone.
Well Night Star encouraged me to do it.
So I'm going to post a Christmas Carol or song everyday until Christmas.
(Which technically is the beginning of the Christmas season, but I'll conform to the western civilizations adaptation of the buying, ..I mean holiday season.

So here is today's song.

a reply to: Errollorre

Oh Tom, I can't thank you enough! You are just amazingly talented. Why oh why are you not doing background music for movies or singing in theatres or making records?????
The background scene was perfect. I liked how the picture over the mantle changes. Clever!

a reply to: Errollorre

Dude, you have that crooning thing down pat! Love it.

Are you a baritone? That's some sort of velvet thunder down there in your the bottom of your low register.

Neat for sharing, perhaps you've inspired me to do likewise.

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

Oooooh, do share! Hello DOE! Busy doing things, but I keep checking in to see if anyone has entered the Shed Castle.
I hope you found your room by now and are getting settled in.

Tis The Season..... for Dragons

Neighbors complain of woman using dragons as holiday decorations.
Her solution? Add more dragons.

a reply to: Night Star

The hallways here are labyrinthine; after much hesitant door-knocking and several apologies for unfortunately-timed intrusions, I found my Place.

My travels have been long and arduous; the Master tested my fortitude at every turn and every mile of crooked, unbeaten path by throwing obstacle after soul-trying obstacle down upon me - yet, bent as I may be, I am unbroken.

But whoever stayed in this room left boogers on the side of the mattress. (Luckily, dried boogers scrape off easily.) After a little more tidying up, resting and refreshing myself, I'll be down in time for shed vespers.

originally posted by: LookingForABetterLife
Tis The Season..... for Dragons

Neighbors complain of woman using dragons as holiday decorations.
Her solution? Add more dragons.

Wow! Now that is unique!

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

I'm glad you've made yourself at home. Yeah, it's easy to get lost in here. We had to move to a bigger place, hence the castle. My room is at the top of the stairs.

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

You have a way with words. You'll have to join a shed story sometime. I think we are on a hiatus or something as everyone is busy lately, but we will have stories. Or...You could make a side story of your own. A lovely fantasy Christmas story would be awesome.

a reply to: Night Star

Thanks! It's what I love.

I am currently reading The Odyssey (first time) and trying my hand nipping at Homer's style...it's an elocution that I find simultaneously lumbering and graceful. I feel like I have inadvertently dumbed myself down (in a way) over the years by hyper-focusing on metric writing styles, breeding an impatience with long-winded prose.

I have lots of projects going right now, so it may be a minute before I can reallocate mental resources for stories here, but I will enjoy contributing to the Shed (Castle) stories in the future, certainly.

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

Wonderful! I look forward to that.

Have you seen the pixies? I think the lurkers have abducted them for their little parties out there. Hmm, I'd better take a peek outside. I'll take my pixie named Pesky out with me so she can scold them for their absence.

a reply to: Night Star

G'day Night and all !!

Could not help but notice that your horses are in harness, yet there is no visible cart/stage coach/ plough ?

Nice looking neddies though ! 😎

a reply to: Night Star

Funny you should ask.

Several years ago, by motivations of ultimately unknown origin, I cordoned off a 40-square-foot area in my backyard where I let the grass grow wild, hoping to entice the wee ones to come keep me company. (I have mostly troubled relationships with humans, and grew weary of the constant solitude.)

The grass grew tall and made a pleasant velveteen "shhhhhwishh" whenever the winds picked up. I reckoned that all array of spritely beings would appreciate the pastoral quality, but days, weeks, and months passed with no visit paid upon me.

On a rare occasion, I hosted a dinner party for several associates. As I prepared food and drink for my guests, it dawned on me that the denizens of the magical hinterlands rejected my invitation due to my thoughtlessness: if my fellow humans, heedng my invitation, arrived to my home to find neither food nor drink, or any present made to welcome their arrival, I woud no sooner have found myself the subject of scorn among all who knew me.

I promptly resolved to correct my heedless preparations, taking to cupboard and pantry to find something suitable to offer. Finding nothing but apples, I began to peel, core and quarter one of the fruits (which I noticed was slightly mealy). I placed the prepared offering at the edge of the wild grass and, anticipating the arrival of my human guests, went back to my earthly concerns.

*****

The dinner party came and went. Thankful to return to meditative solitude, I plopped on my couch and closed my eyes. No sooner was I in a state of blissful halfsleep when the silence was broken by an oddly high-pitched female voice that shrieked "WHO. DID. THIS!!!???"

"What the hell?" I said, my eyes snapping wide open. I immediately went to the backdoor, went outside, and looked around. Nothing.

"Tell me and tell me true, foul giant, is this abomination of your contrivance?" It was the same voice.

"Wh-who's there?" My voice shook as I squinted all around.

What appeared a dragonfly at first zipped before me. On closer inspection of the creature, I noticed, with equal rations of glee and utter dumbfoundedness, that it was no insect but a flesh and blood fairy (or so I thought).

"Oh my! I have been eagerly awaiting your arrival for months! Thank you for finally accepting my invitation, I hope you've found the food to your liking!"

'"So it WAS you! Foolish human!"

"Do fairies not like apples?" I honestly had no idea.

Notwithstanding her tiny size, I discerned her eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. "FAIRY!? Seriously?"

My brow narrowed and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I," she began, pointing what appeared to be a wand in her hand back at herself, "am a pixie."

"Oh. My - errrr - mistake?" I was beginning to dislike this pixie and wondered if they were all as unpleasant as she.

"Yes it is. Secondly, EVERYONE knows that pixies don't eat apples unless starving, and even at that, will only eat the seeds, skin, and stem. The apple, lacking the only edible parts, is also mealy...not fit for a common barnyard swine much less a fairy, much less someone of my stature."

At this last comment, I couldn't help but chuckle. "Excuse me? Sta - uhhhh - stature?" I tell you this not out of disrespect, but I had a difficult time supressing all-out laughter.

"Foolish manchild! You must pay for your grievous treachery!"

With that she zipped aloft of my head, sprinkling a glittering dust. Immediately I shrank to less than her size, coincidentally noticing for the first time her hynotizing beauty (and very fashionable red-and-white striped socks).

She landed on her feet next to me. "For your criminal neglect, or deceit, or idiocy - for I have not yet ascertained - you will be my slave until such time that you have learnt the proper way of treating beings greater than you. Follow me, we'll make camp in this tall grass which some rare THOUGHTFUL person has prepared for me."

My spirits lifted slightly and I started, "But it was none other than I who-"

"Shut up, slave. Now march."

We made our way to the wild grass - it reminded me of Honey I Shrunk the Kids, except not as cool, lacking good ol' googly-eyes Rick Moranis - when she zipped ahead of me and turned to face me with arms crossed, as if guardian of the realm we were about to enter.

"Password please."

"You're joking."

"Pass. Word." She cocked her head. "Please."

Normal-sized anger raced through my pint-sized body. "Ive had enough. Return me to my normal size so I can crush you like the Pesky gnat you are!"

"Tut tut, manchild," she said, tapping a little of that terrible dust as reminder of her superior powers. "Password please."

My anger became desperation. "But I don't know anything! Like you say, i am a manchild, a Bearded Boy! I didn't even know that fairies-"

"Pixies."

My anger doubled and my rate of speech quadoubled. "-PIXIES don't even like apples! I am a lonely and pathetic human, this is why I've invited you in the first place. If had I known what misery, what abjectly hapless and hopeless a situation would fall upon me for my ignorance, I should surely never have even entertained the notion of-"

The pixies eye opened in a wide smile and said, "Splendid. You have submitted the password. You may enter." She turned to walk in.

"Wait. What? What was the password?"

"I am not at liberty to say."

"But I just said it!"

"Yes, so you should remember it."

"But I was blinded by my passions...in this moment, I have scant recollection of any single one of the words I said."

"That's unfortunate, manchild. Now enter."

"No."

She drew a deep sigh. "Suit yourself. I wish you luck in finding someone to reverse my magic." She crossed into the wild grass. I knew I had no choice, so I followed her.

It's been a long and hard past several years. Surely you know this, Night Star, but to warn others: in spite of popular fancy, pixies, I have learned, are very strict and serious and have high standards for the rehabilitation of foolish manchildren like me. Once crossed, it can take many years to uncross a fai - wait - no. Pixie.

So now you see what delayed my arrival.

The end?

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

Disappointed that there were no obvious acronyms ! Pfft ! 😉

Nice job mate !

a reply to: Night Star
I'm a bad influence. Somebody has to show people what not to do by doing it.

a reply to: Timely

Thank you Timely. 'tis but one entry from the ongoing compilation of my Dictionary of Excuses.

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

Oh, I just loved this story DOE! Wonderful! Claps hands. If you use colored font, it would alert people that it is a story. You don't have to of course, just a suggestion. I think I'm really going to enjoy your company in here new friend. I already am.

originally posted by: Timely
a reply to: Night Star

G'day Night and all !!

Could not help but notice that your horses are in harness, yet there is no visible cart/stage coach/ plough ?

Nice looking neddies though ! 😎

Oh, they...ummm...escaped when they saw Troll. Ya know, panicked and bolted away. I think one of the dragons calmed them down after a while. You think they would be used to Troll by now, but we all know how clumsy Troll can be.