should i call protective services?

a reply to: TinySickTears

I lost my post...

Anyways, this would have been very embarrassing for the child. The way she just froze up like that? It really isn't a good sign, I hate kids getting diagnosed with mental health problems but sometimes it's the reality.

Talk to the teachers, she might just need counselling, she might have a neglectful and abusive family... It might be nothing.

But for a kid to do that in front of what amounts to pretty much her full social life is troubling in itself even if the kid is at fault.

Of which I don't believe, kids are not usually born bad. They learn it from close friends and family. This stuff will only get worse as they grow, they might see it as the norm and that doesn't half set a kid back.

Speak to the teachers, it's the least you can do.

Kids need every opportunity to succeed, the last people holding them back should be their parents.

a reply to: notsure1

The little girl is 5 or 6 she is in kindergarten

a reply to: RAY1990

I think about that too. Getting punked like that in front of everyone has to make her feel like #.
I just feel bad all around.

originally posted by: TinySickTears
a reply to: notsure1

The little girl is 5 or she is in kindergarten

Ok I take back all I said lol. I was picturing teenagers my bad. Never a reason to put your hands on children that young

a reply to: notsure1

They might smoke some weed at that house and find it when the cops do a surprise visit then all the kids get taken away..

Ah, NOW we get to the heart of why you are so uncomfortable about it. Although I agree that a little weed is not a reason to take kids away, in this case, it is more than just the mother being a pothead. In fact, I'd venture to say that she wouldn't be so miserable and nasty to her kid if she was a smoker.

So let's worry about the kid, and not whether the parents get busted.

a reply to: notsure1

Thats wht im bothered.
It's just all that happened. I cuss a lot. I don't censor myself in front of my daughter but I do not talk TO her like that. Then the pushing and was busting. It was not a little nudge to get going. She was #in pushing on her man. If a stranger pushed you like mom was pushing her you would get into self defense mode for sure. And it wasn't just a little swat. She was cracking her

originally posted by: FissionSurplus
a reply to: notsure1

They might smoke some weed at that house and find it when the cops do a surprise visit then all the kids get taken away..

Ah, NOW we get to the heart of why you are so uncomfortable about it. Although I agree that a little weed is not a reason to take kids away, in this case, it is more than just the mother being a pothead. In fact, I'd venture to say that she wouldn't be so miserable and nasty to her kid if she was a smoker.

So let's worry about the kid, and not whether the parents get busted.

Again I want worried about the parents getting busted if they are abusive . But Now I realize the kids are only 5 and I dont even see how you ever even get mad at a 5 year old. Unless you have issues.

So I say call CPS..

a reply to: TinySickTears

I have raised 2 kids and have a 3 year old grandson living at my house. At 5 years old they are still completely sweet, innocent , creatures.

That you should never even be mad at. My grandson only makes me smile even when he is being an intolerable little shi.

a reply to: notsure1
Agreed. The parents may need parenting classes because they themselves may have been raised that way.

I was raised where, when I screwed up, I was beaten with an electric cord until I was welted up and bloody. In kindergarten.

So yeah. Maybe the parents need intervention. It took me years of therapy to get over the abuse and the embarrassment I went through publicly.

I was a 'burner' raising my kids, but I was discreet, careful, and I loved them dearly. They never knew about it. They grew up to be great kids, compassionate and sweet. The cycle can be broken. Maybe this mom needs help as much as her child.

a reply to: FissionSurplus

I have very similar sentiments, I grew up with plenty of kids in care, with foster parents or who shouldn't have been with their actual parents.

It's the same story here in the UK, stretched services has kids falling through the gaps. These kids are probably deemed too problematic, parents won't change and no immediate family will have them. It's sad and wrecks a very important part of a person's life.

But success stories happen too, "the services" will try to facilitate what's best for the kid and that is usually staying with the family. But it's a two way system and both parties need to work together.

It might sound harsh but depending on age, sometimes the kid needs to buckle a bit too. Kids can't be expected to just work it out though, you need to facilitate the ability for them to learn, they need good care, they need to learn personal responsibility.

I've seen the system screw people up, I've seen it create strong independent adults too. But one thing is for certain, neglectful and abusive families destroy young children. They never do well in early adulthood.

They're either given a huge learning curve and are left at a disadvantage, or the bone is just thrown further down the line to be chewed on by another set of authorities.

a reply to: TinySickTears

My eyes welled up in tears reading this. I hesitate to suggest that you would be doing the right thing in calling the authorities.

a reply to: TinySickTears

I feel for you I really do. This stuff is never easy.

You say she's 5-6 years old?

Yep you should definitely do something. Something isn't right and a child that young shouldn't be going through that.

Honestly, it might just be a case of where the parents need a bit of help. A bit counselling, therapy and education goes a long way. It gives the parents a good chance to help their kid more too.

I've known a few parents who were very grateful for that opportunity... I've known people who knew they shouldn't have custody too.

Heads in sand kinda stuff.

Either way this kid needs a hand and the sooner the better. It'll torture you more not doing something in the long run.

I was the person in your other thread who said that there might be reason to feel "sad" for that little girl rather than "mad" at her...

And I didn't know at the time that we were talking Kindergarten aged - they are so little still - just barely out of 'babyhood'...

My God, it just breaks my heart that anyone could treat such a little one the way you described!

I think you know what you need to do - you have a good heart, and it sounds as if your 'gut feelings' are pretty trust worthy..

- There was a good point made about not calling the police as that would merely 'warn' the parents.

...I know it's an incredibly difficult decision considering how bad foster homes can be, but then again, member FissionSurplus gave some great examples of good results from making such a call - and Ray1990 had excellent input as well..

If you're still in doubt, maybe ask around, see if there are others who've noticed stuff with the family...
...You could talk to the school's Principal or maybe they have a Guidance counselor there that you could talk to?

a reply to: TinySickTears

If your gut is telling you something is very wrong with that situation, then definitely listen to your gut. Better to be wrong and hurt some feelings than be right and it be too late.

Typically when it gets to the point where the parent openly abuses the child in front of onlookers, it's pretty #ing bad when there's no one else watching. And typically with abusers, that is actually a cry for help. They're practically begging someone to intervene and stop them.

It had to have been horrible to be bothering you this much. I say make the call. And don't be hard on yourself for not seeing the whole picture right away and blaming the kid. That was enough to get your attention and ensure you noticed what was going on this time.

If it were me, I'd turn her in. Better safe than sorry...especially when little ones are involved.

Call. No reason to speak to a kindergartener that way let alone anything else. That alone proves the mom is unhinged lunatic who cannot control their anger. If a 5 year old can make you fuming made screaming and cursing, youve got personal issues.

originally posted by: notsure1

originally posted by: Vector99
a reply to: TinySickTears

I would recommend calling non-emergency police line and letting them know what you witnessed. They will go out and do a wellness check, then they can be the ones to determine if CPS should be involved.

Much better than doing nothing only to later read a local headline that the girl was beat to death by her mother.

Yeah sure get the cops over to her house that always ends well.

Are you an advocate for child abuse?

Don't call CPS, Don't call the cops. See nothing Say nothing...

**ETA - Reaching 3rd page I see you changed your stance. I figured you knew the age seeing as the OP mentioned his thread about this before, and mentioned the age group there.

originally posted by: TinySickTears
a reply to: Vector99

That's a good idea vector.
I just hate to get involved in other people's #. I just feel bad for the girl.
Mom for sure not late to work unless she works in ragged out pajama pants.

Young kids that age don't have the understanding or know how to get help. They probably think the abuse is normal. Non-emergency line will be the best bet imo.

a reply to: TinySickTears

Make the call or contact the school. The school could be the better option because they'll have the trained staff to assess and report safeguarding issues. You won't know if the girl is already on the radar for neglect or mistreatment or if school staff are monitoring.

You had a snapshot and the school will have a bigger picture. There is absolutely nothing wrong in flagging the family.

a reply to: TinySickTears

I'm not sure but i don't think the parents have to be told who called cps in them.
You could do it anonymously.
I do know that it will take more than one concerned citizen to report this before anything is done at all.
Can you convince the other parents that saw this happen to also file reports on it? Ether way talking with the other adults that saw this happen is a good idea.

Find a land line or payphone( a what??) and make the report from it.

now getting a spanking is no big deal but couple that with the pushing and the screaming at her.... i just dont know

All that together and in front of that little girls schoolmates is not a good thing . Just think of how humiliated the little girl felt on that bus ride to school. What if because of her home life and her attitude she is getting bullied at school, or being a bully herself.
What kind of adult is she going to be I wonder?

It's to bad your daughter and this girl are so young or my advice would be to help your daughter find a way to befriend this other girl so that she can help her.