should i call protective services?

i had a thread a couple weeks ago about this little girl that has been mean to my daughter. not physical just being a jerk.
i feel so bad. someone on here said something about its not the kids fault and what about the parents. i wasnt hearing it and i feel awful.

i would like some advice please because i am torn.
on 1 hand i am of the opinion that i should leave it alone. stay out of it. not my problem.
on the other hand if this is how the mother acts at the bus stop in front of all the kids, parents and bus driver then this little girl might have it rough.
then there is the possibility that nothing is wrong and it just seems wrong because i do not behave like this.

let me put a disclaimer in that while i do not believe in hitting my daughter i dont think parents are wrong if they spank their kid. i dont even want to get into that discussion. so here it is. please tell me if this is a big deal or a nothing.

so the bus pulls up and i am leaning against my car while my daughter gets in line and then the show starts.
this kids mom opens the car door and starts screaming "GET OUT OF THE #IN CAR NOW'.
im talking loud so everyone could hear it.

the kid gets out and gets to the back of the line. her head is down and she is just standing there. the line moves but the girl just stands. the mom starts in "GET YOUR LITTLE #IN ASS ON THE BUS NOW"..
said that several time.
kid takes a couple baby steps.
the mom gets behind her and starts pushing her. i dont mean hand on her back with a little nudge like come on honey. she was pushing this kid.
kid is resisting.
the mom starts busting her ass and screming "GET ON THE #IN BUS"
BOOM.
cracks her ass.

all the other kids are on the bus and i am looking at the bus driver and we both have a look like wtf do we do?

i have been thinking about this all day. i feel so terrible. i feel bad i called this kid an asshole in my thread and i feel bad that the mom treated her like that in front of everyone.
now getting a spanking is no big deal but couple that with the pushing and the screaming at her.... i just dont know

i cant help but think if the mom goes off like that in front of everyone then how bad does this little girl have it behind closed doors?

i am torn on this because i am very much a dont get involved type of guy but i cant stop thinking about this kid.

i talked to my wife and we tossed the idea around of calling protective services with an anonymous type call saying what we saw and maybe someone could check it out.
what do you think?

i dont want to cause problems for this family if it is not really warranted but i kind of feel like it is.
i mean if they go check # out and they feel like nothing is wrong then hey. all good. better safe than sorry. my mistake. im sorry

but what if this little girl is in a bad way?

what if they do go check it out and decide to remove the kid?
that could cause all sorts of problems and hardships for that kid.
maybe things would get better for her. maybe they get worse.

maybe i should keep my stupid mouth shut and mind my own business.

what do you all think?

believe me this was not just a quick spank on the bus with a raised voice of get on the bus.
it was bad. the mom was busting her hard. pushing her hard. screaming and cussing.

i cant help but think if she has no problem doing this in public that in private things are much worse.

what would you do?

any opinions welcome.

i just can not stop thinking about that kid.
plus she always has dirty clothes. # dont fit. face is all dirty and #.
i just dont think she is getting taken care of the right way

thanks all

Do the right thing and make the call...

Minding our own business is a GREAT idea when dealing with ADULTS.. Children? We need to always get involved.

Never call cps.
Itd be much more righteous to call her out personally.
Cps kidnaps kids and makes things worse in most cases.
Unless she is all bruised up or being sexually abused leave well enough alone

a reply to: TinySickTears

I would never call cps unless I knew everything.

You don't know the whole of the situation.

Looks like the kid is resisting going to school, but there are lots of reasons for that and some of them the mother should be tuned into. Kids usually don't start fighting school unless they have a problem like a learning disability that needs to be diagnosed and helped, for example. Anxiety over it can cause them to even get physically ill.

But learning issues can be hard for parents to spot because some of them tend to run in families. How do you notice an issue you might have?

Not saying that's what's going on here at all, but there is that angle to consider.

It does sound to me like the parents of that kid have some serious parenting issues and that poor little kid doesn't stand much chance as things stand.

a reply to: TinySickTears

Have to agree with Dashen, CPS is the absolute gutter for kids.

Sounds like the mother needs an attitude adjustment. You could always call the authorities opposed to CPS, maybe that will have an impact. Perhaps get a petition signed with the other parents and get the school involved. Maybe even just pull her aside, hell IDK.

This is a daily occurrence around my area as well. Having cops around helps...sometimes.

Tough choice man.

originally posted by: TinySickTears
i would like some advice please because i am torn.
on 1 hand i am of the opinion that i should leave it alone. stay out of it. not my problem.
on the other hand if this is how the mother acts at the bus stop in front of all the kids, parents and bus driver then this little girl might have it rough.
then there is the possibility that nothing is wrong and it just seems wrong because i do not behave like this.

......
what would you do?

any opinions welcome.

i just can not stop thinking about that kid.
plus she always has dirty clothes. # dont fit. face is all dirty and #.
i just dont think she is getting taken care of the right way

thanks all

Do the right thing. Agree with SemperFortis.

This is a tough situation.

Have you considered getting in touch with the other parents whom were there with you to witness this?
A group complaint to the school might provoke the school itself to contact the parent.

a reply to: TinySickTears

You my friend are in a very difficult situation.

Taking things one at a time.
Get out of the f-car
Get the F-ass on the bus. (in public)
Pushing the girl in a non-nurturing way
Get on the f-bus (again)
cracks the girls butt.
Something is up, is she a bad mom-this isn't the first time she has been a sh-heel. She was indeed verbally abusive and and spank her (I agree no big deal) but maybe it was not needed.
Do you consider the verbal abuse worth the risk of calling CPS? I do.
Verbal abuse is very very damaging as you can see from how the girl is acting. If anything this will let the mom know she is being watched.
Another concern is will the mom take it out on the little girl if CPS is in her grill.

It's a mess, but I would call.

a reply to: IAMTAT

Agreed. The child's teacher right now has more daily interaction with her than you do. That person would or should have a better idea if there is any sign of actual physical abuse and might have a better idea of the situation depending on the relationship with the child.

Reaching out to the child's teacher with your evidence, especially if you can get the bus driver and other parents on board, might be the missing evidence the teacher needs to take some steps. The teacher will also be in a better and more official position to do this than you will.

My mom whupped my ass up and down the halls once when I was in the 7th grade.

I snuck out another night and was smoking at a friends house when she showed up in damm robe and started whipping me with a belt and my friends mom was whipping his ass.

Sometimes kids just need an ass whipping.

originally posted by: semperfortis
Do the right thing and make the call...

Minding our own business is a GREAT idea when dealing with ADULTS.. Children? We need to always get involved.

One of those rare events where I agree with LEO. Make the call.

Instruct thy daughter how to craft a shiv. j/k

originally posted by: Cigarettes

originally posted by: semperfortis
Do the right thing and make the call...

Minding our own business is a GREAT idea when dealing with ADULTS.. Children? We need to always get involved.

One of those rare events where I agree with LEO. Make the call.

Why because she yelled at her and gave her a shove? There has to be more than that to get her kids taken away.

originally posted by: dashen
Never call cps.
Itd be much more righteous to call her out personally.
Cps kidnaps kids and makes things worse in most cases.
Unless she is all bruised up or being sexually abused leave well enough alone

It seems obvious that confronting that woman is nothing short of trouble for you and maybe on a physical level. Call CPS or do nothing. A damned if you do and damned if you don't situation.

The kid seems to have issues by herself, being a bully - a sign of a dysfunctional home life, perhaps.
The mum definitely has issues if she has no problem abusing her child in front of her peers and in public. That to me, is a common thing down here, see if all the time from certain types. And those kids never grow into healthy adults, they become the next version of their parents, screaming abuse at their children, hitting them, kicking them, throwing things at them, as they are in tears, and embarrassed in front of hundreds of shoppers etc.

I'd make the call. I don't know how the CPS is where you are. It has never had a good reputation, but I've worked in a very small capacity with some people from CPS before, and the one thing that was reiterated over and over is that if there is any way to keep a child with their family, it is always the better option taken, be it other family members, or working with the parents to work things out. I say, the better option taken, but then factor in the adult human element, and people don't always think without letting their emotions conflict them.

In my mind, you can already see that the home life is causing the kid issues, acting out against her peers.

Very tough situation... but if there is nothing more going on that an unruly kid and a mother at her wits end, CPS should - I say should - be able to ascertain that. But again, I don't know what they're like where you are.

I guess the ultimate call has to be up to you - you know your area best. Are they known to just remove children from families at the drop of a hat? Ask around perhaps. But my first instinct is that something is not right with that family.

Ahh I'm the last person to offer advice, as I never take my own. :/

Honestly, it's one of the hardest things to consider. No one likes sticky beaks. But in the society we live in these days, I don't think people act enough to help others obviously unable to help themselves.

And I can tell TinySickTears, that this really affects you. Let your emotions subside some first, get more information if you can, definitely see if there are other parents who may either help you better know if the mother is always a hag, or if it was out of the blue.. very hard situation..

very hard..

I literally had to go pick a switch out of a tree so I could get my ass whipped.

Maybe she told her mom to go F$$$ herself on the way to the bus stop. I said bitch to my mom once and thought I was gonna die.

ONCE..

I am not fond of how they handle things at CPS. It may just be that that woman had a bad day and was late for work and the kid was not cooperating and she lost it. I would keep an eye on this, the little girl could be problematic and she knows it but does not know how to fix the problem. There could be a lot of reasons, watch and see, keep an eye if it happens again then make a decision. Sometimes things go awry and even the best person loses it.

Talk to the bus driver and see what he says about this, he may have noticed it other times or he may say there is usually nothing like this from the mother. Either way, the mother should learn to control here temper and watch her language. Yelling too often never works well, the kids get acclimated to it and sometimes this negative attention becomes good to them, any attention is better than none. It is your call tears.

CPS is a joke. Unfortunately. I know first hand.

Sister- in-law is a p.o.s. junkie abuse/neglect recidivist.

Guess how many times we've called CPS.

a reply to: TinySickTears

I would recommend calling non-emergency police line and letting them know what you witnessed. They will go out and do a wellness check, then they can be the ones to determine if CPS should be involved.

Much better than doing nothing only to later read a local headline that the girl was beat to death by her mother.