Why alimony and child support is BS

a reply to: CaptainHook

Not true.

In Ohio, where I live, the court has no obligation whatsoever to consider what the child wants- at any age.

I'm sure Ohio is not alone in this.

To clarify, my post is only meant to apply to cases of unplanned pregnancy outside of marriage.

Guess you're being hit with child support. Hey you could always let the child live with you. Feed him or her, clothe them, diapers, formula, babysitters, buy their toys and school supplies, pay the doctor when they're sick, be santa for them,
Of course that would cost you a lot more than you'll e Dr be asked for for child support.
Imagine if your parents had wanted to abandon you.

originally posted by: Edumakated
The system is definitely rigged against men. Ask all the rappers and entertainers trapped by chicks looking to hit the baby mama lotto. As rapper 50 cent said, "Have a baby by me and become a millionaire..."

She take my money when I'm in need
Yea she's a trifling friend indeed
Oh she's a gold digger way over town
That digs on me

Now I ain't saying she a gold digger
But she ain't messing with no broke niggas
Now I ain't saying she a gold digger
But she ain't messing wit no broke niggas
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head

Cutie the bomb
Met her at a beauty salon
With a baby Louis Vuitton
Under her underarm
She said I can tell you ROC
I can tell by ya charm
Far as girls you got a flock
I can tell by ya charm and ya arm
But I'm looking for the one
Have you seen her
My psychic told me she have a ass like Serena
Trina, Jennifer Lopez, four kids
An I gotta take all they bad ass to show-biz
OK get ya kids but then they got their friends
I pulled up in the Benz, they all got up In
We all went to Den and then I had to pay
If you #ing with this girl then you betta be payed
You know why
It take too much to touch her
From what I heard she got a baby by Busta
My best friend say she use to # wit Usher
I don't care what none of y'all say I still love her

Now I ain't saying she a gold digger
But she ain't messing with no broke niggas
Now I ain't saying she a gold digger
But she ain't messing wit no broke niggas
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head

Eighteen years, eighteen years
She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years
I know somebody paying child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV, Any Given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money
She went to the doctor got lypo with ya money
She walking around looking like Micheal with ya money
Should of got that insured got GEICO for ya money
If you ain't no punk holla We Want Prenup
We want prenup!, yeah
It's something that you need to have
'Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half
Eighteen years, eighteen years
And on her eighteenth birthday he found out it wasn't his

Now I ain't saying she a gold digger
But she ain't messing with no broke niggas
Now I ain't saying she a gold digger
But she ain't messing wit no broke niggas
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head

Now I ain't saying you a gold digger you got needs
You don't want ya dude to smoke but he can't buy weed
You got out to eat and he can't pay y'all can't leave
There's dishes in the back, he gotta roll up his sleeves
But why y'all washing watch him
He gone make it into a Benz out of that Datson
He got that ambition baby look in his eyes
This week he mopping floors next week it's the fries
So, stick by his side
I know his dude's balling but yea that's nice
And they gone keep calling and trying
But you stay right girl
But when you get on he leave yo ass for a white girl

Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head

a reply to: midnightstar

Guess the world is full of # heads.
I'm glad I got a good man. 36 years. Three kids.

a reply to: tigertatzen

child support is bull# and it's corrupted. Read what others been saying on here about child support. It needs to be fixed to become equal. Nobody is saying child support should be abolished, just fixed.

originally posted by: Sillyolme
a reply to: midnightstar

Guess the world is full of # heads.
I'm glad I got a good man. 36 years. Three kids.

Next time you are with him make extra passionate love to him as thanks! Just saying. I hope my wife gets this message!

a reply to: Sillyolme
Assertion. I'm a woman who is happily in a relationship with a partner where we have a kid. (god, that sounded so wrong before fixing the sentence)

a reply to: abe froman

ah ok. I didn't know that about ohio.

a reply to: Sillyolme

I have joint custody of my daughter and fought hard to get it, I paid support before there was a court order.

My daughter's mother refuses to work and hasn't held a job in a decade.

I buy Christmas and birthday for not only my child but her little sister (not my child) as well.

I often have both girls with me, I am a single father with a full time job.

The flip side of the coin (which is all too prevalent these days) is a lazy, useless, selfish, woman-child who lives off child support, welfare, and the charity of others- Awarded residential custody simply based on gender.

No fair court awards residency to the jobless parent in public housing.

The court system is admittedly biased and therefore it's authority should be forfeit.

a reply to: CaptainHook

In this scenario, the father can sign away his parental rights and will then have no financial obligation. That also means he forgoes the right to be involved in his child's life moving forward reformism that point. No say in education, how the child is raised or disciplined, no Christmas or birthdays. If you don't want to be in the kids life, don't put your name on huge birth certificate when they hand you the paperwork at the hospital.

You have valid points about child support being abused by the mothers. I've been in that spot myself and between paying her "back support" that had already been paid, lawyers, loss of the ability to claim my son on tax returns etc... And I can't keep track of how many apartments I lost because I got behind in rent because I was being gouged for money by an ex who always had a sob story prepared for any situation and because I wanted to make sure my son had everything he needed, I gave up the money and then ate nothing for days on end. I also was sent a bill for all of the cost of the delivery and hospital stay when my son was born because we were no longer together at that point, and she had applied for public assistance to get an apartment, food stamps, Medicaid and all that. So in addition to child support I paid an obscene amount of money and there was no marking down the cost of the hospital visit. So I very much get both sides of the issue.

It's also important to note that there are countless deadbeat dads out there who owe thousands or tens of thousands of dollars in arrears because they have never paid a dime for their kids who face no repercussions. So something needs to be done about that as well if you want to reform the entire system.

The laws also differ greatly from one state to the next. Where I live, the first child is 17% of your gross pay and then it's tiered for additional children. It's all taken out of the check before taxes and you're only taxed on what is left after child support. Other states have different set ups for how much each child is worth, income thresholds etc...

As for your thoughts on a 50/50 custody arrangement, again that varies from state to state so I can only comment on where I live. But here, even in a 50/50 custody arrangement the party who makes more money can be forced to pay child support if the party who makes less requests support from the court.

As screwed over as I feel I was, I think that doing away with child support is a huge mistake. Condors are free, take responsibility for your part of the conception. If you're not willing to take that gamble then keep it in your pants or sign away your parental rights.

a reply to: abe froman

sorry to hear. you should get the kids over her. Can't you file to have them?

I paid child support for 18 years. And every year, year after year I watched my child's mother live well beyond her means and go on vacations she clearly could not afford with her income. When he turned 16 she turned 40 and went with several friends to Mexico for a whole week and told him she could not afford to buy him a car (cars are needed where I live to work) while at the same time pestering him to get a job. Of course, I bought the kid a car.

And as that went on and my child developed into a man he now has deep seated resentment against his mother and constantly argues and bickers with her about everything. It is a sad thing to watch when you are helpless to do anything to change it.

a reply to: Fools

sorry to hear

a reply to: CaptainHook

9 court appearances in as many years got me joint custody.

If Cleremont County were to award me residential custody they would lose their percentage of my CS payments, as I live in Hamilton County.

It's pretty well known that Cleremont County (a much poorer neighbor of Hamilton County) is the most anti-father biased domestic court around.

I have my daughter all the time and haven't had any visitation problems in years, my relationship with my daughter is amazing and she's a bright,brilliant,beautiful, young lady.

However the court system is full of crap and has created generations of professional abusive mothers that resent their own children and in many cases raise them to become nightmare people.

The first thing we should do is remove all incentives for women to make fathers out of men that don't want to be husbands.

originally posted by: CaptainHook
a reply to: tigertatzen

child support is bull# and it's corrupted. Read what others been saying on here about child support. It needs to be fixed to become equal. Nobody is saying child support should be abolished, just fixed.

Hmm...pretty sure it's not the concept of child support that's the issue you are so outraged over on behalf of other people you know. It's the way the courts view those who don't pay it willingly...and the fact that they have the power to force them to pay it. But who allows that to continue?

You see...when child support is not managed by the state and is instead a mutual agreement between two reasonable adult parents and their respective attorneys, it is nothing like what you've got your panties in such a bunch over. It is not bull#.

Now, the state mandated child support system is full of bull#. And needs to be seriously reformed. But that is not a voluntary agreement of support reached by two loving parents who only want the best for their child. That's a bill. An obligation. A dismissal of a human being as nothing more than property. And the fault lies with both parents, for not acting like responsible adults and getting the system involved as a form of retaliation. For making an innocent child into a pawn.

That? That is most certainly bull#. I wholeheartedly agree. Children are human beings, and deserve better than that.

But the concept of an absent parent willingly supporting the needs of their children through monetary payment, aka child support, is not bull#. And no one here has said that it is.

a reply to: Fools

Here's a goofy self-help book for your son. It will make him a better man:



It's Jungian psychology but it uses scenes from movies to convey the points.

a reply to: abe froman

I heard that if the child is old enough. you can give the money to them. not the mother. good to hear about you having a relationship with your kid.

a reply to: dfnj2015

"She take my money when I'm in need"

a reply to: tigertatzen

(deleted)

a reply to: tigertatzen

I agree with you. There has been this idea over many generations it seems that the mother knows best when it comes to children. And in the USA many states have encoded that opinion into law. In my state, they recently made single or partial custody almost impossible. All divorces with children start at 50/50 custody and to get that changed you have to prove to the judge that one of the parents will not be able to physically or mentally take care of a child.

It has also changed child support payments as well since the mother will no longer be able to claim that she has full financial responsibility on the act of raising the child. I think if the mother makes much less money they can be compensated a bit, but no more will men be put in the poorhouse by vindictive women - in my state.