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Why alimony and child support is BS

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posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 03:09 PM
a reply to: CaptainHook

How does one fix child support so that it's equal? If one parent is footing the majority of the costs of raising a child, what's there to be equal about?

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 03:10 PM
a reply to: CaptainHook

I think in KY after the child is 18 any back due CS goes to the child.

Not 100% sure.

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 03:11 PM

edit on 30-11-2017 by abe froman because: (no reason given)

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 03:14 PM
Here is actor Tyrese Gibson (Fast & Furious fame) breaking down on social media regarding his child support issues. He is claiming he hasn't seen his daughter in six months and the ex got the court to up child support to $13,000/month. WTF? $156,000 a year for ONE CHILD.

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 03:23 PM
a reply to: Edumakated

If you want to have children in the USA, do not have them in states that do not have child custody fairness laws. If you do, it is a nightmare.

If you want to continue to live in those states and plan on having children some day - write your state senator and representative often on changing these laws that do little else but destroy human beings lives for the benefit of a mother.

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 03:28 PM

originally posted by: dfnj2015
a reply to: Fools

Here's a goofy self-help book for your son. It will make him a better man:

It's Jungian psychology but it uses scenes from movies to convey the points.

Thanks, I will check it.

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 03:41 PM
a reply to: dfnj2015

I appreciate your effort. But when it comes to child support I think the courts generally get it right. Now for equality, how about I'll put the seat down for you as long as you put the seat up for me?

As an attorney, I have noticed that it depends on the judge. Florida is at least attempting to update the law to take bias out of the equation. With that said, all too often men do get screwed in the deal. I'm all for taking care of the children, and for people taking responsibility. The unfortunate issue is the fact that the law is typically more stringently enforced against men than women. Women get away with a lot more. Finally, one needs to consider that in a typical divorce: men just want out, women want blood. I've represented both, and this tends to be true even without any shenanigans from either side leading to the divorce, (e.g., cheating)
edit on 30-11-2017 by timequake because: (no reason given)

edit on 30-11-2017 by timequake because: (no reason given)

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 04:13 PM
a reply to: timequake

Finally, one needs to consider that in a typical divorce: men just want out, women want blood. I've represented both, and this tends to be true even without any shenanigans from either side leading to the divorce, (e.g., cheating)

That is so true. In my case my ex was even calling me and yelling at me and so on AFTER she married another guy (who she was probably screwing around with while we were married). It finally got to the point where I called her husband and said, "hey man check your phone records, your wife calls me about every third day and I think she can go ahead and work out her issues with you now, you know, because she is married to you - not me."

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 04:15 PM
a reply to: timequake

The good thing is a few years later I found the most perfect and lovely woman I have ever met and haven't left her side since 1996. She is my best pal and gorgeous and has shown me that not all women are crazy. In fact, I look up to her for her wisdom and her patience and her humor.

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 05:59 PM
a reply to: Fools

I'm very happy to hear that. Something very rare.

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:07 PM

originally posted by: CaptainHook
What do you guys think about child support system

I have learned to deal with it and plan financially ahead as best possible. It does seem like it is one sided but as a Father what can you do?

As long as I have paid child support I still support my children directly financially because I knew at times the money was not going to my child.

I have seen my payments pay car notes for my children's mother for years. But again what was I to do when my child still ask for stuff? Ignore them and tell them I paid support? No, I got what they needed regardless and paid the mother and accepted the stresses involved. Guess that is what makes a dad a dad being able to deal with it.

I have been in court numerous times threatened with jail time and had those public servants try and tell me just pay the support and not be there directly for my child?
As if my child understands that I send money to their mom. So I had to figure it out, plan financially ahead. Which allowed me to be there directly for my children financially and pay the system

I had custody of my child, asked the public servants for more help to enforce my rights because my child's mother would not let them visit me without her presence (even though I had weekend custody)
why they the public servants made sure they enforced me pay her car note. They dont really care about the welfare of mine. Just doing their jobs collecting checks, why putting others under extreme pressure is what I picked up from their attitudes.
All they did the public servants in the Family division was ran me in circles. Until I realized I have to get a lawyer to help because they wont. Which = more money.
It is a vicious game played on the fathers or mothers who fall victim and really care about their kids. You have to come up with your own financial plan or allow the system to raise yours how the system thinks they deserve raised...

@ times I would purposely take pay cuts and avoid employment even just to get my child's mother to work with me to see my child, at least with public meetings at malls or restaurants with my child where she could control and monitor and be present. I did whatever it took to see my kid and stay in their life. Because she knew when my checks were not coming when expected that I would still provide for my child directly.
Again vicious game and I do wish the best for those parents going through it.
edit on 11/30/17 by Ophiuchus 13 because: (no reason given)

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:08 PM
Kind of figured a way to avoid alimony 😂
Thank GOD

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 07:40 PM
a reply to: CaptainHook

What do you guys think about child support system, and alimony?

I think judges who grant divorces and issue child support need to go on a case by case basis for each couple and it should be reviewed every year. I have seen how child support levels a person to where they cannot earn enough to live by. (It has happened with several people I've known)

When I divorced, my ex and I had an agreement that she would not go after me for child support if I did not try to take custody of the kids or go for alimony. I got lucky.
Most people don't get that.

My current wife has a daughter (she is my daughter as I have raised her for 11 years now ) through a prior relationship and he was ordered to pay 25 dollars a month. He never paid a dime. We had several chances to go after him, but because of the way the system is set up, chose not to. 25 a month is not worth ruining his life if we did go after him.

That is where the problem lies with child support.
If a person does not pay now, they get jail time and drivers license is revoked.
Why add more suffering to messed up situations?

There is no real good answer but they do need to take everything in a much more case by case basis so that no one hurts more or less than they already are in many circumstances.

That is just my thoughts.

As far as alimony goes,
that too should be a case by case basis.

If the separation causes extreme monetary hardship, then there should be payments if one spouse works and the other does not, but then....that also would depend on circumstances.
edit on 30-11-2017 by Darkblade71 because: (no reason given)

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:06 PM
a reply to: Fools

Here in Texas, it's practically a sporting event to go after dads for child support through the state. And it's a corrupt system that favors the mothers in most cases. For instance, there is no requirement for proof that attempts have been made to request support on the part of the mother. So it doesn't matter if these guys see their children or even realize they've got a kid...the state attorney's office will go after them, and if they can't pay, they'll be jailed.

Now...I had a situation where my ex refused to help support our daughter just out of spite. Had I not been able to cover expenses on my own, I'd have likely sued him for it.

However, I didn't feel it was necessary to drag my child, who already had to deal with knowing she had a miserable piece of # for a father, through the drama of court. So I made the choice not to pursue it. But as far as I was concerned, he forfeited his right to be a part of her life. And scumbag that he is, he was perfectly OK with that arrangement.

But if I had been reduced to seeking state assistance and food stamps just to feed my child while he lived a life of carefree excess and didn't care whether his kid lived or died? I'd have gone after him for every penny I could get, and I would have been perfectly justified in doing so.

But when you've got women going after guys for money when they have already made attempts to help with finances and care of the child...which is extremely common around here...and the state turns a blind eye and helps them obtain that money, I have a serious problem with that. Because at that point, they're just taking advantage of the system...and making the father of the child ultimately resent the child and the entire situation simply for monetary gain. And then using the helpless female victim in a cold cruel world card to justify it.

Child support itself is awesome when it's given freely by the non custodial parent, and everyone I know who receives that from their exes are grateful for it, because they need it. But the state run system...they're all about the money, and have very little concern for the actual children who are caught up in this. And frankly, the amounts that some of these people are ordered to pay are absolute highway robbery...only legal and state sanctioned.

But typically, those situations are not divorce's usually where the parents aren't married and haven't been living together to begin with. That is extremely prevalent in this state. And single mothers applying for welfare are encouraged to have the state seek out the fathers of their children and pursue child support. Clearly, one hand washes the other. It's abhorrent.

Divorce situations in Texas are quite different. In order to be granted a divorce with children involved, both parents are required to take classes on child psychology regarding divorce, and those classes are not free of charge. So the incentive for both parents to step up and be present for their children is clear. They either do it, or they can't get divorced. It's not a perfect system either, but at least the effort is made to hold both parties equally accountable for the children they created together.

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:12 PM
a reply to: Shamrock6

OP doesn't seem to realize that it's a multifaceted issue. Not every custody situation is the same. Easy to cry for equality when you're not actually facing a situation like that yourself. Easy to cry foul, for that matter.

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:36 PM
I've said multiple times on here before that CS needs reworked & alimony needs to be trashed -- you're divorced, good for you. Now get a job, & live cheap, honey. Marketable skills or not, work your ass up the ladder like everybody else does -- you just have a later start at it than the teens & 20-somethings.

I'm all for limiting child support to ONE auto-paid utility bill, and only that. No cash. This way, it guarantees the money is ACTUALLY going to something a kid needs to live decently (water bill, electric, gas/heating) that is verifiable and traceable, rather than just taking mom's word for it for how much she needs and why. To me, it seems a no-brainer to have a paper trail for CS in it's current form to prove you need the money for what you claim it's being used for, but my god, suggest it & you're just an ass. No, that's accountability. If you make more than enough to support yourself & your offspring and the paper trail proves it, you should NOT be entitled to the non-custodial's money, period. This is fair and keeps one half of the equation from driving the other into deep poverty because mommy needs to mooch more than she needs.

Just my opinion as a kid of divorced parents, who don't support CS themselves. My mom cashed my dad's checks and gave the money BACK because "F the judge, she doesn't know s# about fairness." Speaks volumes, considering my mom sucks donkey balls with financial responsibility herself. She might be money retarded, but it was no reason to mooch my dad's bank account when she had her own job that was sufficient and she preached it.
edit on 11/30/2017 by Nyiah because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 1 2017 @ 05:02 AM
a reply to: tigertatzenwhere did I state I don't realize it isn't a multifaceted issue? No where. I never stated every court case is the same either. Assertion.

If you actually read my post I never stated all cases are wrong nor shown that I think all cases are the same. I was speaking about the wrongs in child support.

Red herring.

edit on 1-12-2017 by CaptainHook because: (no reason given)

edit on 1-12-2017 by CaptainHook because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 2 2017 @ 03:31 PM
a reply to: tigertatzen

Here is an article on the changes Missouri made into law: b39584a7c1d.html

You should send this to your local representative. There is no reason to go on destroying men's lives anymore.

posted on Dec, 3 2017 @ 12:58 AM
I didn’t read all of your ignorant post , but I’ll start by saying why do you assume only men pay alimony? It’s whoever earns the most. Secondly it’s only for two years, after that the spouse is expected to get a job, so long as they are fit and able to do so. Thirdly alimony is a taxable income, they will pay taxes on it.

posted on Dec, 3 2017 @ 01:03 AM
a reply to: Ophiuchus 13
It’s case by case where I live. Judge not really granting a divorce, the respondent has a right to refuse the divorce and whoever ends up paying support has every right to file for a reduction if the situation changes , like if their income drops. Other than that they pay half their wages.

edit on 3-12-2017 by violet because: (no reason given)

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