a reply to: Fools
Here in Texas, it's practically a sporting event to go after dads for child support through the state. And it's a corrupt system that favors the
mothers in most cases. For instance, there is no requirement for proof that attempts have been made to request support on the part of the mother. So
it doesn't matter if these guys see their children or even realize they've got a kid...the state attorney's office will go after them, and if they
can't pay, they'll be jailed.
Now...I had a situation where my ex refused to help support our daughter just out of spite. Had I not been able to cover expenses on my own, I'd have
likely sued him for it.
However, I didn't feel it was necessary to drag my child, who already had to deal with knowing she had a miserable piece of # for a father, through
the drama of court. So I made the choice not to pursue it. But as far as I was concerned, he forfeited his right to be a part of her life. And scumbag
that he is, he was perfectly OK with that arrangement.
But if I had been reduced to seeking state assistance and food stamps just to feed my child while he lived a life of carefree excess and didn't care
whether his kid lived or died? I'd have gone after him for every penny I could get, and I would have been perfectly justified in doing so.
But when you've got women going after guys for money when they have already made attempts to help with finances and care of the child...which is
extremely common around here...and the state turns a blind eye and helps them obtain that money, I have a serious problem with that. Because at that
point, they're just taking advantage of the system...and making the father of the child ultimately resent the child and the entire situation simply
for monetary gain. And then using the helpless female victim in a cold cruel world card to justify it.
Child support itself is awesome when it's given freely by the non custodial parent, and everyone I know who receives that from their exes are grateful
for it, because they need it. But the state run system...they're all about the money, and have very little concern for the actual children who are
caught up in this. And frankly, the amounts that some of these people are ordered to pay are absolute highway robbery...only legal and state
But typically, those situations are not divorce scenarios...it's usually where the parents aren't married and haven't been living together to begin
with. That is extremely prevalent in this state. And single mothers applying for welfare are encouraged to have the state seek out the fathers of
their children and pursue child support. Clearly, one hand washes the other. It's abhorrent.
Divorce situations in Texas are quite different. In order to be granted a divorce with children involved, both parents are required to take classes on
child psychology regarding divorce, and those classes are not free of charge. So the incentive for both parents to step up and be present for their
children is clear. They either do it, or they can't get divorced. It's not a perfect system either, but at least the effort is made to hold both
parties equally accountable for the children they created together.