Why alimony and child support is BS

originally posted by: CaptainHook
Why do women need to go after there ex husbands for alimony? This isn't a time where women had no job opportunities. Women can go out and get a job. Alimony is no longer useful and outdated. It so unfair for men to work there asses off to give money to there ex wives. To me alimony is 'adult child support'. There is no reason to be a parasite and use men or women for alimony.

I would never do this to my partner.

Child support system is so corrupted. Men are usually get screwed in this deal. So many stories I heard of how women miss use there child support money and the legal system against there ex partner. Child support system needs to be fixed to help both father and mother equally, not favoring the female and/or the one who has custody of the child. Like, I heard a story where a father works full-time job, and lived with his mothers due to child support putting him into financial strain meanwhile the mother works part-time, lives in a apartment, and she is seeking more money out of her ex because 'she is struggling'. Also, I believe 'if a woman can have an abortion. Then a man can back out of child support'. Like, if a woman can control whether or not she is able to support this child. Why can't men have the same? To back out of there parental liabities. It's not like men have the right to control women to get an abortion. (I'm a pro-choice)

I hate how our society are using men as financial supporters. If my partner and I would ever split. I would go for split custody (nobody pays child support this way I believe). I would make it about my child, not about me.

What do you guys think about child support system, and alimony?

The system is definitely rigged against men. Ask all the rappers and entertainers trapped by chicks looking to hit the baby mama lotto. As rapper 50 cent said, "Have a baby by me and become a millionaire..."

I think child support/spousal support is necessary especially in situations where the wife is a home maker. They usually can't just go out an get a job that pays the bills as they have no real marketable skills after staying home raising kids for the past decade or however long. With that said, some of the monthly support is borderline criminal, no matter how much money the other spouse may make. I've seen people paying like $10-$20k/month in child support! Ain't no kid cost that much to raise.

I've argued that as a trade for abortion being legal, what should happen is that both men and women should have to sign an agreement NOT to abort. In that case, child support is ok. However, if the father doesn't agree and instead wants an abortion, but the woman decides she rather have the child, then she should forfeit all rights to child support.

originally posted by: CaptainHook
a reply to: seeker1963

it seems most people think I am a male on here. :O I am compassionate about equality.

I appreciate your effort. But when it comes to child support I think the courts generally get it right.

Now for equality, how about I'll put the seat down for you as long as you put the seat up for me?

originally posted by: CaptainHook
a reply to: CriticalStinkeryou don't have to be married to file for alimony. well, in Canada anyways. Once you're living together for 3 month or 6 months. You become common law switch basically as somewhat the same benefits as a marriage couple.

Ya that was a whole lotta bull#. If by benefits you mean having to declare a combined income and joint responsibility of debts and crap after 3 months of living together as 'benefits'.

a reply to: dfnj2015

I was talking about during pregnancy while a woman wants a child and the father doesn't, not while the father was in the father life.

I agree, alimony/spousal support should be completely eliminated as a concept. Child support is another matter, and deserves to remain in enforcement. But alimony needs to kick the bucket. All it does is give the partner an excuse to spend big because their regular paycheck will replenish their lavish hobbies every month.

I'm pretty sure the overwhelming majority of alimony money is wasted regularly.

a reply to: dug88

lol, my mom been with her ex for 11 years. She and him where common law and she had legal right to file for alimony. Alimony doesn't always apply for married couples but laws are different country to country.

originally posted by: CaptainHook
a reply to: dfnj2015

I was talking about during pregnancy while a woman wants a child and the father doesn't, not while the father was in the father life.

If you dip the stick then you have to pay for the oil change. I'm not sure what means but sex is a voluntary activity that comes with HUGE responsibilities.

a reply to: worldstarcountry

a reply to: dfnj2015

if you go to work. You must pay the price for it because 'a job is a huge responsibility'. Your line of thinking can be applied to any type of consequences.

Just because a consequence has happened doesn't determined that person have to deal with it by suffering through it.

originally posted by: dfnj2015

originally posted by: CaptainHook
a reply to: seeker1963

it seems most people think I am a male on here. :O I am compassionate about equality.

I appreciate your effort. But when it comes to child support I think the courts generally get it right.

How for equality, how about I'll put the seat down for you as long as you put the seat up for me?

Courts????
In Pennsylvania, you don't see a real judge. You sit in front of a political state employee and THEY decide what you pay and whether or not you go to jail! They also get money from what they say you have to pay in support! You have to fill out forms showing what your rent/mortgage, utilities etc etc and you are never supposed to pay out more than I think 30% of your monthly income, yet it isn't unheard of or rare by any means to have them take over half!

In other words, if you don't have the money for a good attorney? Your are forked!!!

I had a savings and got a good attorney. My ex was even willing to work with me, YET the STATE MUPPETT didn't care... If you haven't been thru it, how the hell can you sit there and say "they get it right"???

originally posted by: dfnj2015

originally posted by: CaptainHook
a reply to: dfnj2015

I was talking about during pregnancy while a woman wants a child and the father doesn't, not while the father was in the father life.

If you dip the stick then you have to pay for the oil change. I'm not sure what means but sex is a voluntary activity that comes with HUGE responsibilities.

Why don't you apply that logic to your other political views?

The government should mind it's own business.

Child support has become a cottage industry and "career path" for the bottom 20% of women.

People always like to tell men to "be responsible for your actions" but seen to be reticent to apply that standard to unemployed, uneducated girls, who are getting pregnant on purpose.

The irresponsible party is the woman bringing a child she knows she can't support into the world.

The standard should be, when mom has the child she takes care and when the dad has the child he takes care.

The courts love to prosecute men that can't pay but, turn a blind eye when mothers walk all over visitation orders.

Throw the money changers out of the temple.

The Child Support Industry in this country is a total scam.

Women that shouldn't have custody of a dog are awarded the children in a lot of cases simply because the judges realize those cows will never get off their asses and work and the courts themselves in many states collect a small percentage of CS payments.

Men that work should automatically win custody over women that don't.

originally posted by: CaptainHook
Why do women need to go after there ex husbands for alimony?

Say a woman stays home raising the family and building a home for the kids, then she has to return back to the workforce. I think the argument for alimony is until she gets on her feet its to help her get back into the workforce.

I think woman have a much better advantage however. If woman wants support she can always get some man to devote his life to her. Maybe that's not true. But it just seems to me a woman has special powers to get whatever she wants as long as she's willing to use them in manipulative way.

Is it right or wrong? I see lots of young beautiful 20 year old women driving a way much nicer expensive cars than I drive. What are you going to do? Life is tough.

Here's a good example of why. My step-daughter and her husband have been married for about 25 years. Their marriage has always been rocky. But because he made lots of money in commercial construction, they made a deal. She would stay home with the kids. They had 4. Their ages are 18, 16, 5, and 4. The oldest just joined the Army. A few years ago he came to me distressed with his marriage. I told him, "Look, you've got about six years and after that you are home free. Do what you want." But what did he do? Had two more kids. They were at HIS URGING as they "recommitted" to each other. Everyone else in the family thought it was stupid as hell, but hey! Who's life is it anyway? Now HE has filed for divorce and whaddya know? He owes "spousal support" plus child support. Why does he owe child support? Because he made those kids. Why does he owe spousal support? Because she stayed home for 25 years and has no marketable skills. So she's faced with abject poverty unless he supports her. Now the game plan is that he will pay for two years of her schooling so she can get a teacher's certificate and get a job as a teacher (at age 45) and if she's lucky she'll be able to teach into retirement and actually have one. This will lower his child support because her income will count. By that time she'll have two kids left at home and be able to support them, though certainly not at the level they had been living, which was extravagant. The reason the older kid joined the army is because his dad never saved for college and preferred to buy old sports cars without his wife's knowledge. He's a very selfish guy.

This is not a case of two people with equal careers and equal responsibilities just deciding to split the sheets. This is a case of her being placed in an untenable situation where her husband has decided to abandon the family so he can go out and party (and be with his mistress.) She's in her mid forties now and her looks are gone. She's not going to pick up some guy to support her very easily. As far as I'm concerned, she's wrecked her life. She will never be in a position to "do well" at her career. Her only hope to get ahead is to inherit from me.

So YOU BET HE OWES. It's his responsibility.

a reply to: seeker1963

originally posted by: abe froman
The government should mind it's own business.

Especially when it comes to abortion rights and gay sex.

a reply to: abe froman

the courts do have to take considerations of where the child wants to go.

What's your issue with child support. Who ever pays alimony anymore?

a reply to: dfnj2015

the toilet question. I don't care if the seat is up or down. it just takes 2 seconds to put it down or up when you're about to use it. If you a man and find the seat down. Move it up. If a woman finds the seat up. Then pushed the seat down. It's not about equality. :|

a reply to: CaptainHook

I've never personally understood alimony. However, child support is not bull#...if it's reasonable and necessary. Before judging the mom with the part time job, for example, you might consider researching exactly how much money it takes to raise a child.

Child support is meant to supplement every aspect of the child's care. Medical, clothing, school expenses, daycare costs, toys and books, toiletries, diapers...all of the myriad of little details that people who don't have children don't really think about. Daycare alone is staggering...anywhere from $300-500 per week around here, for just one child. Well...there's an entire paycheck right there for most single parents.

So now the dad is out of the picture, which is why he's paying in the first place. And the mom works forty hours at a job to simply pay for the same amount of time her kid spends in daycare per week. She's literally working to pay a stranger to raise her child.

So...what about the poor kid who now doesn't see either parent? There's nothing wrong with a mother working part-time if the rest of her time she's a full-time mother who cares for the child around the clock. Bathing and feeding and playing with the child. Caring for the child when he's sick. Single parents don't get a break. While the absent parent is free to live as they please.
..while still reserving the right to see the child and be part of his life...minus all the work and energy involved in his daily care.

People typically don't see it that way. Or they think that somehow because the mother receives child support, for the sole purpose of paying for things the child needs, that she's not allowed to use her own money on things for herself.

But in a household where there are two parents, the distribution of money and responsibility is shared. What money that they do not use for their children's needs is then distributed among the different needs of the parents and the household.

Child support is meant to create that balance, while giving primary custody...and therefore all of the actual work and lost sleep and demands on time and energy...to the parent who is willing to take that role. People have of course gone and abused it and made it into something akin to a prison sentence...and that's sad, because the poor kids are then treated like a burden, a chore, a dreaded bill that has to be paid. And yes, men are most definitely screwed over more than women in these cases.

But every guy I know who pays child support and didn't require the state to go after them legally to obtain it...which is what usually results in those ridiculous sums awarded to children by state judges, because the dads refuse to do it the nice way and then become a pain in the ass of the state government...are happy to pay for their kids to have nice clothes and good shoes and books and toys and field trips and ballet or karate lessons or whatever else they need it for. They don't mind paying because they love their kids, even though they chose not to seek custody of them.

So it's not all bull#. The alimony thing though...I don't know. I've always thought that was ridiculous. Like a payment for escaping a bad marriage. Ransom haha😹