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* 2017 * ATS Predictions Thread

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posted on Dec, 14 2016 @ 11:37 PM
a reply to: goou111

Hey, that's my life right now. As for my prediction, it is that we will see the same BS with different names attached to it.

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 08:20 AM
In 2017. . . . .

-Elon Musk will force-feed Michael Moore to the point where his mass will collapse on his self and create a singularity where he will then power all driverless Uber cars.

-Hillary Clinton will run for president of her local book club. Russia will influence the vote. Trump will win.

-ISIS devices a new style attack on the west by infiltrating every DMV and inflicting horror and torture legally.

-Vin Diesel gets nominated for Best Actor. Russia will influence the vote. Trump will win.

-Scientists discover that estrogen is actually produced from skinny jeans, man-buns, and any drink purchased from Starbucks.

-Common Core mathematics will be used to balance the budget and zero the debt. As a result, we lose Montana to Canada, have to return the Statue of Liberty to France, and we end up owing some guy in Panama, 40 trillion dollars.

-The Electoral Collage is disbanded and in 2020, there will be a dance-off instead. MC Hammer is projected as the frontrunner.

-Crayola markets edible crayons. They will be called Biden-Yums.

-Global legalization of marijuana won't reverse Man-Made Climate Change, but now people will be really chill about it.

-Putin runs for re-election in Russia. . . . . . and you guessed it. . . . . . Trump wins!

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 08:22 AM
a reply to: zazzafrazz
President Trump will be inaugurated on the due date. Noisy protests will take place.

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 08:25 AM
The global surplus of oil will be gone and a major turn around for the economy will transpire as the oil market spikes...

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 08:28 AM
a reply to: zazzafrazz

I predict that the streets will flow with the blood of the non believers.

California will have the big one.

More riots.

Kim Jong In gets offed.

Chinas man made island starts sinking.

Cleveland wins the Super Bowl.

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 08:29 AM
Nazi Poroshenko Regime in Kiev will fall.

continent-wide wins for Pro-Independence Anti-Globalist Parties across Europe following in Brexit and Trump's victory

Google executive will be strangled by their own android.

Warhawk Pro-establishment Republicans will probably block a great many of Trump's foreign policy initiatives.

The Islamic State will be militarily defeated and forced to become an underground terrorist organisation. The Syrian People will liberate their country from the Saudi-European backed terrorists.

The Afghan National Army will suffer humiliating defeats at the hands of the Taliban, possibly leading to the re-establishment of a Pro-Pakistani Islamic Emirate.

South China Sea will probably lead to even greater tensions between the US and China, putting Russia into an awkward position.

The Earth will continue to warm, Environmentalists will continue to moan about it but still won't invent a sun temperature control ray to do something about it.

George Soros will be arrested and executed for treason, incitement to war and supporting terrorism.

After George Soros is gone the riots mysteriously end

The United Kingdom will see Brexit delayed further

Some scam artist on Kickstarter will claim to have invented yet another magical device who run with the stolen cash after the media promotes his fake impossible science.

The Military will seize power in South Korea (yet again) because of social instability.

NASA will actually be able to launch stuff into space again.

My plans to stop smoking will be delayed indefinitely, a source of great celebration for the Chesterfield company.
edit on -060008am12kam by Ohanka because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 08:35 AM
Well, my predictions on last year's thread were spot on-

originally posted by: Signals
It's going to be a wild 2016 Zazz, put on your big girl panties and get ready for this-

1. Al Gore elected next President of the United States.

2. 3 States attempt to secede from the union.

3. Scientists announce finally, there is definitive life on Mars, but it's not a field mouse.

4. Filming for Dumb & Dumber For starts production, but Jim Carey and Jeff Daniels are tragically lost in a fiery crash while driving the Oscar Meyer Weiner-mobile.

5. Bill Cosby will be completely exonerated of all charges. His 3 word response while exiting the courtroom - "Bitches be trippin".

6. Ernest Borgnine dies for the 3rd time. I create a thread about it, and finally there is consensus among ATS members of the Converging Timelines theory.

7. There will be a 9+ earthquake off the coast of Japan. Simultaneously, Yellow Stone erupts. I'm talking bunker time, panic sex, Teotawanaki style.

8. North America is destroyed, and the eruption ushers in a new Ice Age. Al Gore's head literally explodes on national TV upon learning this news, like in the movie Scanners.

9. Jesus returns, as promised. Phage & Marduk unsuccessfully debunk his arrival, but are forgiven.

10. The Age of Wisdom and Peace ushers in, bonding all remaining earthlings for 1,000 years.

So, I'm going to suggest keeping those big girl panties ON again this year, as we will be burying Ernest Borgnine once again.

Free energy devices will be given to every person on Earth.

We will nuke the moon, in the best interests of everyone.

The world's largest diamond will be discovered, & quickly purchased by Trump. His jeweler will break it up into 5 ct rings to be given to all cabinet members.

Isaac Koi returns, damn all the Ted Rose Moran nonsense.

Zazz gets a hippopotamus for Christmas.

I finally break 80 on the golf course.

One more, ISIS gets its ASS WHIPPED in 2017 !

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 09:32 AM
1. WH Press Secretary no longer ends each spoken sentence in up-talk.

2. Tony Blair elected President of European Council.

3. Trump sons purchase Bermuda Triangle.

4. Exclamation point use spikes from commonly accepted three at end of sentence, to use of five!!!!!

5. White Cliffs of Dover declared racist; renamed.

6. NASA’s 2018 budget appropriation approved in 2017 with an increase of 1.5%.

7. Mets win World Series

8. MSM begins to only quote official United States Stasi Media

9. Noah’s Ark discovered perched precariously on the Antarctic continental shelf

10. Affordable Care Act remains intact through December 31, 2017

11. Investors buy options in hot dogs and apple pie

12. Ballcaps become common business attire.

13. Number of U.S. military advisors in South Sudan triples as U.S. shifts geo-political goals.

14. Curiosity Rover beams back images proving that the funnels on Mars are bongs. Dead Heads liquidate 401Ks and buy tickets on first passenger flight.

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 09:35 AM
A New strain of HIV will arise in the blood of Charlie Sheen.

If you thought Super Aids was the top, wait til you see Ultra-Aids.

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 10:22 AM
a reply to: zazzafrazz

My prediction:

We will see an explosion in new business ventures by entrepreneurs; increased innovation, new industries, more advanced technologies hitting mainstream. Banks will be making money available for new business loans. An increased push in the agenda to move off Earth and into space.

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 10:34 AM
There will be a huge breakthrough in Cancer treatment, developed by a Muslim, rendering it as serious as Diabetes. Trump will call it a liberal plot to brainwash the masses against him, Pence will claim it turns men gay, Alex Jones will convince millions to vote to block it so that we don't end up in gay fema re-education camps. This will make libruls mass emigrate to Europe causing the United States to become a deplorable swamp.
edit on 12/18/2016 by Kali74 because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 10:42 AM
ET Predictions for 2017 and Beyond, ______beforeitsnews/prophecy/2016/11/et-predictions-for-2017-and-beyond-2486198.html

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 10:47 AM
I hereby predict that more celebrities will die and people will comment on how horrible the year is each time.

I think the markets will be volatile next year, with Trump actually being president and Brexit (whatever that ends up being) actually happening.

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 03:53 PM
a reply to: zazzafrazz

The big one will hit northern California near San francisco in March 2017.

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 04:42 PM
Trumpotus will go down as the most productive Potus in the first year of office in the history of the US!!!!!!!!!
More jobs and more trade, and hopefully more disclosure!

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 05:27 PM
I do not have a psychic bone in my body however I do predict there will be one if not more attempts on the life of Trump... To much hate by the snow flakes and it does not take much for their minds to break from reality and set them off on some emotional melting tirade .

posted on Dec, 18 2016 @ 05:53 PM
/sips some scotch, cracks knuckles, and begins...

1) There will be earthquakes and some big ones, but the worst will be in Alaska.

2) There will be a brief war, with actual gunfire, between liberal thugs and conservatives as armed protesters from urban areas of a major city "take the fight" to the streets of the suburbs.

3) My prototype laser pistol works perfectly.

4) The stock market will suffer a big fall in three separate and distinct drops of approximately 5000 points each.

5) hillary's sanity slips quietly away. No one notices.

posted on Dec, 19 2016 @ 06:11 AM
Mandala--will live ...die again. Trump--might be dumped-assassination attempt... Hillary--passes away... Media uses her death of their gain. Superstar xxxxx --not heard of for years passes. Alex Jones -- The new Fox News...where Trump will address himself. Nibiru-- Makes a comeback...but is found to a deathstar. Climate change-- can only be real if the earth is flat ... Says Gingrich many follow him...inclauding DiCaprio partying on his jetliner. Ufo disclosure--from an unlikely place.

posted on Dec, 20 2016 @ 03:34 PM
a reply to: Kali74

How did I miss this post ?

posted on Dec, 20 2016 @ 10:34 PM
Here is 10 from me. I am a little more positive than most I think.

1) President Trump does a better job than any of us thought he could do. It turns out he really cares about how America thinks of him and listens to ALL of the people.
2) The largest meteor ever recorded in our modern time hits an un-populated area.
3) Renewable energy beats out fossil fuels in power output almost everywhere in the world.
4) Trade war with China
5) 2017 will NOT be hotter than 2016.
6) A real cure for several diseases and maybe a cure for one form of cancer is found.
7) A new species of rat or flea or tick will be discovered.
8) VR tech will have a major breakthrough making console gaming obsolete.
9) Russia crushes isis and frees Aleppo as well.
10) Oxygen rich , habitable planet is found within 10 light-years from earth.

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