don't know where else to turn, found some odd stuff on my girlfriends kik messenger.

a reply to: dr1234

Sounds like bots are messaging her.

originally posted by: Darkphoenix77

originally posted by: dr1234

originally posted by: Darkphoenix77
Odds are it is really nothing, those may just be spam messages from bots. As far as your girlfriend is concerned my advice is just be honest and actually talk to her. Nothing will kill a relationship quicker than a lack of communication or a lack of honesty. I would not necessarily confront her, but just talk and listen.

Maybe, but the first one wasn't a bot. I had a conversation with her. The second one who knows.

Even if, it may not be what you think it was. People are also capable of pretending that they are what they are not and it may have been an attempt to eventually phish some information.

I want it to be that, problem is the second I started asking who she was she stopped responding. In my mind, she realized if it was my girlfriend she wouldn't ask this, because she knows who she is. She never asked for info or anything. Also, from years of experience, "hey" is the online equivalent to "interested in some sexual conversation?

originally posted by: TheBulk
a reply to: dr1234

Sounds like bots are messaging her.

First one wasn't a bot, I spoke with her. Second one? Weirded me out. Hey hun u around? As if they hook up when she is in town, which makes sense because she spent time away at school. Idk man I pray it is just bots or some weird #. These seem like humans.

originally posted by: TheBulk
a reply to: dr1234

Sounds like bots are messaging her.

Would be a damned shame if a bot was causing OP's heartache.

That's the messed up world we live in. My mom got a random pop up on her browser years ago and she's not too savvy and due to that adultish random pop-up she was convinced my stepfather was cheating on her lol.

So, you logged onto her phone without her permission. This won't end well.

A word on threesomes: change your mind about them. They're totally awesome.

originally posted by: dr1234

originally posted by: Darkphoenix77

originally posted by: dr1234

originally posted by: Darkphoenix77
Odds are it is really nothing, those may just be spam messages from bots. As far as your girlfriend is concerned my advice is just be honest and actually talk to her. Nothing will kill a relationship quicker than a lack of communication or a lack of honesty. I would not necessarily confront her, but just talk and listen.

Maybe, but the first one wasn't a bot. I had a conversation with her. The second one who knows.

Even if, it may not be what you think it was. People are also capable of pretending that they are what they are not and it may have been an attempt to eventually phish some information.

I want it to be that, problem is the second I started asking who she was she stopped responding. In my mind, she realized if it was my girlfriend she wouldn't ask this, because she knows who she is. She never asked for info or anything. Also, from years of experience, "hey" is the online equivalent to "interested in some sexual conversation?

That really isn't surprising, a scammer when pfishing for information will go silent if they think that you are not falling for the scam. And asking questions is definitely something that can make them go silent as they tend to not like people asking questions or being suspicious.


Seriously, talk to your girlfriend and listen, don't be accusatory when you do. If it were me I wouldn't mention snooping as the only thing that proves is that some part of you doesn't trust her and a relationship without trust is like a pie without filling.

originally posted by: dr1234

originally posted by: TheBulk
a reply to: dr1234

Sounds like bots are messaging her.

First one wasn't a bot, I spoke with her. Second one? Weirded me out. Hey hun u around? As if they hook up when she is in town, which makes sense because she spent time away at school. Idk man I pray it is just bots or some weird #. These seem like humans.

Sometimes they're men posing as women. Very common. Unless she knows them in real life, suspect their motives, gender, sex, and everything else they claim.

You should as soon as possible......get somebody to give you some paragraphs & a lot more folks will respond to that wall of print.

originally posted by: openyourmind1262
You should as soon as possible......get somebody to give you some paragraphs & a lot more folks will respond to that wall of print.

Huh?

Those would be porn / cam bots your getting messages from.

You can find them on Skype, KiK, yahoo chat, LINE, and many, many other chat apps where you can create accounts pretty much without any real information.

Doesn't matter if your male or female or anything else, you will get messages from "seemingly" real people.

Nothing to worry about, they just want your CC# and for you to spend money on their product. (Typically, the bot lures you in and then you are taken to a different person all together, if you go along with it).

It really is a crappy ploy.

a reply to: dr1234

1. there are tons of bots on there. Practically no one is real, especially if they look like a supermodel. Welcome to the internet. You didn't hear back because the person isn't real. If you're "lucky" they'll ask you to login to a dating site to talk to them... which obviously makes no sense. Or they may give you a long distance number. I'm not sure where that scam leads, but I would advise against calling or texting it.
2. if she has the app, and is using it (check her outgoing messages), then she either IS cheating on you or intends to.

Seriously, I use the app and I get random "hey hun, you around" message about half a dozen times a day. Seriously, welcome to the internet. If I wans't so lazy I'd post a screenshot of the three "hey hun, you around" messages I have right now. All spam.
The bigger issue seems to be that you're an insecure jerk. Not uncommon. Talk to her. You know, like a man.
Sorry if any of this is harsh or hurts your feelings. Just be a respectable person and ask her about it. Bad part is, since you've already betrayed HER trust, you're going to have to come clean too.

a reply to: dr1234


Why don't you just invite her over to yall's place? LOL

a reply to: dr1234

I use kik to talk with some of my Xbox live buddies. Studly as I may be, I believe most of the random girls in lingerie that message me on that app are just bots.

Probably not much to worry about.

I to have Kik and it sounds like a bot man
Often get these they try to bring you to a webcam
If you can get it again chat and say something it of weird noting to do with conversation you will more than likely get a predecided answers before you even write just try it out.
Not very often a real person will have a profile picture in their underware

originally posted by: bender151
a reply to: dr1234

1. there are tons of bots on there. Practically no one is real, especially if they look like a supermodel. Welcome to the internet. You didn't hear back because the person isn't real. If you're "lucky" they'll ask you to login to a dating site to talk to them... which obviously makes no sense. Or they may give you a long distance number. I'm not sure where that scam leads, but I would advise against calling or texting it.
2. if she has the app, and is using it (check her outgoing messages), then she either IS cheating on you or intends to.

Seriously, I use the app and I get random "hey hun, you around" message about half a dozen times a day. Seriously, welcome to the internet. If I wans't so lazy I'd post a screenshot of the three "hey hun, you around" messages I have right now. All spam.
The bigger issue seems to be that you're an insecure jerk. Not uncommon. Talk to her. You know, like a man.
Sorry if any of this is harsh or hurts your feelings. Just be a respectable person and ask her about it. Bad part is, since you've already betrayed HER trust, you're going to have to come clean too.

Insecure? Sure, it's hard when you think you are being betrayed. Jerk? No. other guys here agree, it seems fishy. I hope to god it's just bots, but idk... we will see. It doesn't seem like she has used it recently as far as I can tell. The only people on her message list are the people I've talked about here.

a reply to: dr1234

Two problems...one you are checking her phone and two she is still on kik...

Sounds unhealthy and you need to move on. Why? You check her phone so there will always a trus issue and two she just may be bi and depite what people are saying don't expect to be walking down the isle with this one.

If you live with her start making plans to look for an apartment and if you don't live with her thank your lucky stars and move on..

originally posted by: chrismarco
a reply to: dr1234

Two problems...one you are checking her phone and two she is still on kik...

Sounds unhealthy and you need to move on. Why? You check her phone so there will always a trus issue and two she just may be bi and depite what people are saying don't expect to be walking down the isle with this one.

If you live with her start making plans to look for an apartment and if you don't live with her thank your lucky stars and move on..

How are you sure she is still using it? It doesn't seem like she is, I don't know how I can tell. But I will say this, snooping isn't so bad as cheating. I know for a fact she has snooped my internet history before. It happens. Cheating, not so much.

a reply to: dr1234

Regardless of your soon-to-be-ex's sexuality, one thing I know for certain: her boyfriend has zero respect for her privacy.

Shame on you.

a reply to: dr1234

Should I confront her and admit I've been snooping? 

You definitely should do that. I don't know how to say this except to just say it...

You suspect your girl is cheating on you. That is not uncommon at some point in a long term relationship. You've expressed how profoundly these suspicions have affected you emotionally; the prospect of such a breakdown of trust. All of that is perfectly understandable and I can utterly sympathize. You're hurt and angry and shocked and maybe even physically sick with worry and dread. You feel betrayed...and you absolutely have every reason to feel that way, right?

Wrong. Here is why:

You stated in the beginning that you had no reason to invade her privacy, just simply decided to log in to her private communications and check up on her because of something you heard at work. Not because you had evidence that she was doing anything wrong. You said yourself that you simply did it on a whim.

Not only have you been sneaking around behind her back, pretending to be her and interacting with other users under that guise, but you have been doing this for several months, by your own admission. While feeding your own unhealthy obsession, trying to catch her in a deception, you have been violating her trust, over and over, every time you log into her private messages.

Ask yourself, how do you think you would feel if you found out that your significant other, someone you love and trust, had been harboring suspicions about you without your knowledge and instead of simply asking you about it and giving you a chance to explain, chose to violate your privacy for months by sneaking around behind your back? Would you think that was unfair and feel betrayed by such deceit and lack of respect? I'm betting you would.

You decided to spy on, and even go so far as to impersonate her online to try and catch her betraying your trust...but you are really the actual betrayer here. You expect honesty and fidelity in your relationship, yet it is you who is being dishonest and sneaky in this situation. There was nothing to find that proves your suspicions, but rather than be satisfied and relieved by that, you continue to violate her privacy in hopes of uncovering something. That is way beyond insecurity. That is bordering on pathological obsession. And the whole time, she's completely unaware that anything is amiss.

So yes. If you have one shred of actual love for this woman, then get off ATS, go find her, and tell her what you have been doing behind her back, and why, apologize for robbing her of her dignity and personal privacy, and give her the opportunity to explain, like you should have done from the start. And should your betrayal of her love and trust result in losing her altogether, then be adult enough to let her go.

I am not just offering an opinion here. I am speaking from experience. I, too, had someone harboring unfounded suspicions about me, and he also chose to snoop into my private accounts rather than put on his big boy panties and just ask me about it. He didn't get rewarded with proof of me cheating either, because I wasn't. He did, however get something from me. He got the immediate and permanent dissolution of a sixteen year marriage, plus court costs.

My reward? The freedom to go find someone who believes that honesty, respect and trust in a relationship is a two way street, and what you get out of that relationship is precisely what you put into it.

a reply to: Abysha

there should be no secrets between them in the first place..