My friends little girl being bullied at school

I dont know if this is the correct forum or not, mods move if needed.

My friends little girl is being picked on at school by other girls. Specifically, black girls. They continually call her cracker and biscuit, and tease her.
She is 9 years old. Many teachers have seen and heard the the girls pick on her, but upon confronting the school my friend was told his daughter needed to grow a thicker skin. This just infuriates me! If it was white kids picking on black they would be in deep crap. Im guessing the school is afraid to confront the racial problem.

Any ideas on how to deal with the situation I can pass on?

There's only one way to deal with bullies. Fists.

a reply to: coop039

Jiu Jitsu and boxing.

a reply to: coop039

Sucks to say but if the school won't do anything then she probably needs to be taught how to handle it herself.

She may get suspended from school but as long as you're supportive at home it will be okay.

Seems like a good life lesson she can carry with her.

a reply to: coop039

File a discrimination suit against the school and the district. They will settle it so fast it will make your head spin.

a reply to: coop039

Yes, give the little girl a 2 x 4 before going to school and tell her to knock the hell out of the bullies in front of everyone.

They will never bother her again, furthermore if this seems to bother the Teachers, tell the little girl to say these bullies need to grow some thick skin.

In fact this bullying could be considered a hate crime if the parents want to go to the school board, there is nothing like telling the school board you might considering filing charges and get the Press involved, this is something the school wouldn't want out in the public.

Hate to say it, but the above poster is right on the money. Just getting a lawyer to call the school, or send something on legal letterhead....would certainly change their lazy attitude on it.

a reply to: coop039

Better yet, give the little girl a small pocket size digital recorder show her how to use it and let her get recordings of the teachers comments and the recordings of the girls bullying her.

The parents will have a slam dunk case against the school.

Your friend's little girl punches one of the other girls...get's labeled a racist...and expelled...stays on her record for years.

Tell your friend to find another school for their daughter.

originally posted by: Informer1958
a reply to: coop039

Yes, give the little girl a 2 x 4 before going to school and tell her to knock the hell out of the bullies in front of everyone.

They will never bother her again, furthermore if this seems to bother the Teachers, tell the little girl to say these bullies need to grow some thick skin.

Are you seriously that completely out of touch with reality?

If she tries to fight them she'll get hurt and it'll just make it 10 times worse... real life isn't some inspirational Hollywood movie!

originally posted by: coop039
I dont know if this is the correct forum or not, mods move if needed.

My friends little girl is being picked on at school by other girls. Specifically, black girls. They continually call her cracker and biscuit, and tease her.
She is 9 years old. Many teachers have seen and heard the the girls pick on her, but upon confronting the school my friend was told his daughter needed to grow a thicker skin. This just infuriates me! If it was white kids picking on black they would be in deep crap. Im guessing the school is afraid to confront the racial problem.

Any ideas on how to deal with the situation I can pass on?

Maybe things are a little different here in the UK but I have to agree with the violence thing here.

My step daughter moved schools and as such had no friends. As the other kids already had their little cliques she ended up being the brunt of all horrible actions and became very upset to the point of depression.

This is not good in someone who is only 12(at the time). One morning she came to me in tears and said that she really wanted to go to school and learn and do well but she could not cope with the bullying and could she just for one day stay home and learn something in her own time either with myself or her mother.

We agreed that this was ok and she was so relieved. I contacted the school and arranged a meeting to discuss the situation and the next day she also stayed off school whilst I went in to discuss the situation with her teachers.

They all admitted that she was getting bullied pretty hard but as a "loner" it was always going to be tough and that there was little they could do about it. I disagreed and said that until they could make sure that this 12 year old girl was in a safe place to learn that she would not be coming back as I was not prepared to put her in this kind of situation.

She went back and got the same kind of treatment with no help from the teachers so I pulled her out of school again and they threatened me with going to prison over it???

I told them that as a fully grown man I would rather go to prison than subject a child to that kind of abuse and said I would contact my MP, the papers and the school governors unless something was done about it.

Wow did things change after that, asses were spanked, rules changed and she was able to go back to school, they even set up a club for kids that felt out of place to be able to find friends in similar situations.

She will graduate university this year and is looking at a first class degree in architecture.

As I said earlier this may be different in different cultures but go for those who are supposed to be making the rules and not the silly kids that are getting away with breaking them.

My suggestion would be to move away from that whole situation. If my kid was going to school with a bunch of piglets like that I would. Honestly I wouldnt live there in the first place.

Its never going to change. Yeah you can call the board out and call racism, you can teach her to fight, but it won't be 1 v 1

Odds are its a black run school, all about promoting black issues. Girl doesnt stand a chance. let the animals destroy their own stuff and move the girl to a civilized school.

originally posted by: tinner07
My suggestion would be to move away from that whole situation. If my kid was going to school with a bunch of piglets like that I would. Honestly I wouldnt live there in the first place.

Its never going to change. Yeah you can call the board out and call racism, you can teach her to fight, but it won't be 1 v 1

Odds are its a black run school, all about promoting black issues. Girl doesnt stand a chance. let the animals destroy their own stuff and move the girl to a civilized school.

That post sounds a little racist?

I'm so pleased she is doing so well with her life, one day when she is successful I hope she bangs into the bullies and finds they havent been so successful. Karma can be great!

I agree with your stance. I have had some trouble this year with my 8 year old son. He has had a really tough year. His school year are a bulge class, 44 of them and every year some have to mix with other years to make a split year class. He has been separated from his main core group of friends and his closest friend left at start of school year, so he has felt completely on the outside. On top of this one of the boys who has always had it in for my son has tried everything to exclude. As any parent will know its like a stab in the heart when you see your child distressed.

I spoke to Headmistress who didnt seem to take much notice just kept telling him how popular he was in new class. She didnt seem to see how insecure he felt and how distressed.

Eventually I put everything in writing so she had to respond and said if there was no improvement would be speaking to Governors and Education Board to explain why I was withdrawing child until things were sorted. She then dealt with boy and moved my son's dinner hour so he could still sit and play with friends.

So thats what I would tell your friend to put something in writing and explain (threaten lol) what she will do if the situation doesnt improve.

Makes by blood boil with bullying. Its easy as an adult to say grow a tough skin but not so easy when as a child you are suffering. I was fortunate I was never bullied but still remember the pain of fall outs with friends.a reply to: nonspecific

a reply to: coop039

Yeah, like a couple of others have said, your friend should file a discrimination lawsuit and inform the press, or at least threaten to do so. Her unloading on one of the bullies isn't going to do anything but piss them off - the idea of that working is nonsense, unless it can be backed up by an obvious ability to win a physical altercation with the group. It's a show of confidence if she can beat the crap out of the lot of them - it's just a cocky kid (in the eyes of the bullies) asking for further abuse if she can't.

Ah, bullying.

If the school and teachers don't take it seriously, and if the school does not have good pastoral support then, it's a poor school. The first thing to do would be to visit the Head.

In my kids school bullying is not tolerated. The parents of bullies are summoned as a start.

While kids are encouraged to face bullies, persistent bullying can lead to serious consequences, including children killing themselves. If schools don't take it seriously then, as I said, the school is poor.

originally posted by: coop039
I dont know if this is the correct forum or not, mods move if needed.

My friends little girl is being picked on at school by other girls. Specifically, black girls. They continually call her cracker and biscuit, and tease her.
She is 9 years old. Many teachers have seen and heard the the girls pick on her, but upon confronting the school my friend was told his daughter needed to grow a thicker skin. This just infuriates me! If it was white kids picking on black they would be in deep crap. Im guessing the school is afraid to confront the racial problem.

Any ideas on how to deal with the situation I can pass on?

I don't understand this nonchalant attitude toward bullying. I was under the impression that bullying was being addressed in public schools a lot more than in the past. The main reason is due to not only the victim's possible self-destructive behavior, but also the possibility that these kids may take deadly offensive action toward their tormentors.

The fact that the teachers and school administrators would even say something to the effect that she "needs to grow a thicker skin" demonstrates a complete, and criminal, lack of understanding of the topic. These bullying incidents can lead to a life-long battle with mental illness, possibly culminating in suicide.

I'm sure there are standard protocols for dealing with bullying in school. I believe your friend should run his concerns up the chain of command. If he fails to get any satisfaction there, he should consider getting a lawyer and turning to the local press.

-dex

a reply to: Subaeruginosa

Are you seriously that completely out of touch with reality?

I agree, just knowing what that little girl is going through really bothers me, I went through it myself until I took matters in my own hands.

I was bullied in school also, I reported it to the principal, and teachers, no one cared, I had no friends, nothing.

It got to the point that a rage grew in me, specially coming from an abusive family. One day I just lost my mind when the bullies started hitting me again, I snapped!

I almost killed the kid, I beat him so bad that he went running home screaming, covered in blood. His mother called my mother and threaten a law suit, but my mother told the bully mother go ahead SUE ME! I have the whole school that will testify that your son was beating up my son for almost a year.

I never had a problem with anyone in school after that. The bully that I beat up lost his bullying friends as well.

Sometimes we just have to take a stand, because that is the ONLY thing bully's understand.

originally posted by: anxiouswens
I'm so pleased she is doing so well with her life, one day when she is successful I hope she bangs into the bullies and finds they havent been so successful. Karma can be great!

I agree with your stance. I have had some trouble this year with my 8 year old son. He has had a really tough year. His school year are a bulge class, 44 of them and every year some have to mix with other years to make a split year class. He has been separated from his main core group of friends and his closest friend left at start of school year, so he has felt completely on the outside. On top of this one of the boys who has always had it in for David has tried everything to exclude. As any parent will know its like a stab in the heart when you see your child distressed.

I spoke to Headmistress who didnt seem to take much notice just kept telling him how popular he was in new class. She didnt seem to see how insecure he felt and how distressed.

Eventually I put everything in writing so she had to respond and said if there was no improvement would be speaking to Governors and Education Board to explain why I was withdrawing child until things were sorted. She then dealt with boy and moved David's dinner hour so he could still sit and play with friends.

So thats what I would tell your friend to put something in writing and explain (threaten lol) what she will do if the situation doesnt improve.

Makes by blood boil with bullying. Its easy as an adult to say grow a tough skin but not so easy when as a child you are suffering. I was fortunate I was never bullied but still remember the pain of fall outs with friends.a reply to: nonspecific

When I was still at school in the late 80's early 90's there was a group of girls who used to bully another girl.

Everyone said it was part of life and even the teachers said she needed to toughen up a little.

Then they found her hanging at 11 years old.

She was 11 years years old and killed herself because the supposed adults in her life did not take the right actions.

Not on my watch...

originally posted by: Metallicus
a reply to: coop039

File a discrimination suit against the school and the district. They will settle it so fast it will make your head spin.

Metallicus is right.
I would also suggest the parent document their attempts to resolve with the school prior to involving the lawyer to show a good faith effort to resolve