It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
originally posted by: breakingbs
a reply to: FlyingFox
No youre not rambling, just stating one situation. Also keep in mind, the woman on the tape is not in the room. . By the way, have you heard of a complisult? Its one of those insults you and your friends call one another like, "youre a damn fool" but its only 70% serious. So okay then I would be kind of a jacka55. And im not afraid if anyone called me a fool if I was acting up or whatnot. And Im not sure how much of that is analyzed, you know? Or how much "bravado" as you put it is not just f@#$ing around. A previous poster had it right about momentum. We're having a "conversation" about "confidence" when it comes to whether women like it, and Im just being a jacka55 because I forgot she existed and started acting immature. Im expecting someone to say something equally as bad. I know.
We all have some form of "front", experience will teach us who to front to, and who to open the door to, and when to close it and lock it tight. If you walk into a potential relationship with a front, how long can you maintain that before it cracks and you have to keep your life compartmentalised?
originally posted by: Subaeruginosa
You probably can't maintain that "front" forever. But the fact is, women 'are' attracted to that so called "front" and will hang around for as long as you can hold on to it, even if deep down they know its BS.
Its evolution at work, they're all subconsciously looking for someone who can maintain that 'perception' of power and control over others.
originally posted by: geezlouise
a reply to: JohnnyElohim
I think there's something off here.
Self-worth has nothing to do with being confident about knowing how to do something. I can know how to do something and I can know that I can do it fairly well, at that, but still feel insecure and have low self-worth in the process because I don't add value to myself or define myself by what I can do and etc. I think I try to give myself worth and value via the things that I do but I fail miserably.
But still, the ability to do something efficiently and effectively does breed a certain specific confidence in my personal experience. At the very least there's a certain flow and peace that happens when you're working on something that you know you can do fairly well and that's maybe what I'm confusing as confidence? If I'm wrong about that then I have no idea what confidence is.
Outside of that I know what you mean, there's a Michelangelo Buonarroti quote that goes, "if you knew how much work went into it, you wouldn't call it genius." And that's something else that I really relate to, but once again it doesn't have anything to do with confidence or competence. I often feel unworthy of praise and I experience unease about it as well. Just the other day I told someone that I feel like I am "tricking" people into being impressed, and that sounds like what you touched base on and it also has something to do with the Michelangelo quote. Also, I think there's a certain alienation that happens when people praise you; they look at you like you're an alien... something not like them, and that separation in itself is unsettling and can even feel dangerous.
originally posted by: Anaana
a reply to: JohnnyElohim
Well...Einstein understood the overall mutability and uncertainty of reality, as soon as he provided a perspective from which to look, that those views would open, newer and better perspectives. Knowing that you are to be an integral part of the flux between ideas and reality is both humbling and exhilarating, no doubt. Confidence, in your own ability to navigate into the impossible and return, reasonably, in tact, takes courage and a confidence in your own ability to keep perservering. How many people of genius have run themselves into the ground in pursuit of "what is it" and upon finding the what, on struggling to explain it, or demonstrate it to others? Lots.
I doubt that Einstein would've got a second date with the lady in the video, not really driven by the material. Bless his hole-ridden cotton socks.
originally posted by: JohnnyElohim
The grueling effort required to acquire true expertise can contribute to an overarching humility.