Is confidence a valid indicator of strength?

a reply to: namelesss

Sometimes confidence comes from confidence.

I like a saying that's getting banded around more and more which is about getting not what you want, but getting what you need. I think that especially applies emotionally to those we are with, regardless of our 'trappings'.

She's great for a description of what young women need to think they need, but often a couple bounce off each other and ultimately improve or rub the edges off each other.

She doesn't factor into her equation that incredible 'love at first sight' (OK not for some etc) but that initial attraction magnetises people to each other and still glues them together after 30 years etc warts n'all.

Her point about unravelling is quite right but I wonder how many young women are experienced enough to see this in their partner before they commit?

I think she leaves out something in her assessment - obviously for another video and book etc - but some people have an inner contentment alongside inner confidence, a subtle thing but which I suspect also makes them attractive to others.

I couldn't take my eyes off her huge, white hands. Normally I would be looking 'elsewhere' but those hands were (dare I say it before I run for the hills) more like a blokes' and I am wondering if there is a male brain there inside obviously a beautiful woman's body, nothing wrong with that.

a reply to: Shiloh7

Never saw that about the hands.

originally posted by: rickymouse
If you want to succeed you need confidence.

Are you talking about self-confidence or confidence in another sense? If you're talking about self-confidence, I don't think you could be more wrong.

I have a friend who has made (and sometimes lost) good money from trading on the stock market. This person has no knowledge about the stock market and they have no confidence in their own abilities to pick stocks. They just buy and sell based on a friend's advice. Now, my friend has confidence in their friend (who supposedly has inside information), yes. But, my friend's success in the stock market is not a product of self-confidence at all.

There are endless examples of that. If someone learns how to program computers or become a website designer, do they need self-confidence to be successful if all they're doing is following a template to do their job? I would argue that self-confidence is not a requirement for success in such a case. Why? Because if what they do day after day is no different than what a robot would do...just following a pre-designed series of steps to get the result you desire then self-confidence would be irrelevant in that situation IMHO.

a reply to: Profusion

Good point, and Id say, also a bit easier.

a reply to: Profusion

I agree with the women in the video.

Back in high school I was as cocky as they came, would never take no for an answer and used to pride myself on being able to manipulate people to do anything I wanted... I could have basically had any girl I wanted.

But now my outlook on life is more like that Einstein quote, "the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know".

And I can tell you, in this day and age I couldn't pick up a half decent chick to save my life... a debilitating anxiety order I picked up in my mid 20"s probably has something to do with it... but still, my personal confidence and belief in what I'm able to achieve (or entitled to have), definitely plays a huge influence in how people perceive me.

There are different kinds of confidence. I did not watch the video, but I would say that women find brazen confidence attractive. That kind of confidence does not correlate with strength. True confidence resides in the eyes. I don't show people my eyes very often, but when I do, it makes the point. I do not exude brazen confidence, and for that reason I tend to not elicit the attention of women, but whatever I had worked fine for me many many years ago when I found my other half

ETA: I do think confidence correlates with luck

a reply to: Profusion

I don't believe that confidence is a valid indicator of strength.

I believe true strength lies in the act of attempting to overcome adversity. It's not hard to be confident when things are going well in your life, or when being surrounded by desirable or like-minded people. Some of the most seemingly confident people are overcome by stress when faced with unfamiliar situations, whereas some of the most seemingly unconfident people are able to cope when placed in similar situations.

a reply to: Profusion

However, Einstein was confident that he had the ability to do innovative things. So in that regard, confidence really is key. I have also observed that this is true in my life. You must be a presence. A force to be reckoned with. And to be that, you have to be confident IN YOURSELF.

That means, no lying to yourself. Ever. No matter what it is or how much it hurts you. It's not easy. But I think it's worth it. If you live in your own delusion of reality and never look at yourself objectively, then you don't even know what confidence is. Confidence is simply being yourself.

There's no arrogance involved. Confidence and arrogance are two very different words that do not mean the same thing. Don't put down confidence just because you don't have any.

originally posted by: rukia
That means, no lying to yourself. Ever. No matter what it is or how much it hurts you. It's not easy. But I think it's worth it. If you live in your own delusion of reality and never look at yourself objectively, then you don't even know what confidence is. Confidence is simply being yourself.

Is it truly possible to look at yourself objectively, though?

What if you are aware that you possess undesirable traits that can affect the well-being of others? Should you still remain confident?

The real question is if staying on ats for a whole night signals confidence.

I've found the more confidence a person has the bigger the idiocy. Both go together like bread & butter.

originally posted by: breakingbs
a reply to: namelesss
Sometimes confidence comes from confidence.

I have no idea what you mean.
Confidence must be earned, we earn it.
It can be said to come from our payment of the dues of experience, knowing that whatever life tosses at us, we prevail!
That only comes from prevailing, experience.

a reply to: namelesss

Then you don't know what its like to be me. Its all I really knew. I actually kinda lost it a little as time went by. Or maybe it just "balanced out" a little. Maybe that's not wise but then sometimes ive had it with wisdom.

I figure if someone contends with me based off of just that, than theyre kinna petty.


Ps, wisdom, btw is not the same as caution, and i take caution all of the time.

a reply to: rickymouse
I was going to post something along these lines, but you did a much better job than I would have.

originally posted by: Profusion

originally posted by: rickymouse
If you want to succeed you need confidence.

Are you talking about self-confidence or confidence in another sense? If you're talking about self-confidence, I don't think you could be more wrong.

I have a friend who has made (and sometimes lost) good money from trading on the stock market. This person has no knowledge about the stock market and they have no confidence in their own abilities to pick stocks. They just buy and sell based on a friend's advice. Now, my friend has confidence in their friend (who supposedly has inside information), yes. But, my friend's success in the stock market is not a product of self-confidence at all.

There are endless examples of that. If someone learns how to program computers or become a website designer, do they need self-confidence to be successful if all they're doing is following a template to do their job? I would argue that self-confidence is not a requirement for success in such a case. Why? Because if what they do day after day is no different than what a robot would do...just following a pre-designed series of steps to get the result you desire then self-confidence would be irrelevant in that situation IMHO.

I cover confidence being based on misconception further down in the post I made. Wisdom and confidence are necessary to sustain your progress.

Aristotle and Albert Einstein were both confident people. Confident enough to focus, push boundaries, and dare to know what little they did know. These quotes are being misunderstood:

Aristotle — 'The more you know, the more you know you don't know.'

Albert Einstein — 'The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know.'

Whenever you learn something new you (subconsciously at first) also learn that you did not know the new thing a moment ago (you learn that you were ignorant in retrospect). It's in this specific way that the more you learn the more ignorant of a person you become- as your knowledge increases, your ignorance also increases in a positive correlation. There's no escaping that. But then one day you realize that there's still a world, then a universe, then multi-universes that you're presently unaware of and so the awareness of your own ignorance begins to increase exponentially and thus appears to negatively correlate with all that you've come to know. Still this says nothing about confidence in what little you do know! Just sayin.

Self confidence(edit, lol ^) doesn't mean being conceited or having a big ego- it just means being able to trust yourself.

originally posted by: Sublimecraft
Confidence is synonymous with wisdom, wisdom comes from knowledge, knowledge comes from experience, experience comes from failure.

I disagree my friend,

Confidence is corollary to momentum. As confidences increases, momentum increases; as confidence decreases momentum decreases. In an idealistic world we would like to believe confidence to be synonymous with wisdom, but this is demonstratably untrue. Take the Dallas Cowboys, a highly wise football team they have knowledge and applied knowledge(wisdom) however their confidence after losing Tony Romo (star quarterback)has taken a huge hit and thus their momentum decreases and a losing season has come to fruition. Other than the first part of your statement I agree.

When Copernicus described the "Universe" it was an object that equated to roughly just outside the orbit if Saturn.

Back when Windows 95 was the best in PC computers; we discussed that the Universe was 40 billion light years wide.

Today we talk about how it is about 80 billion light years wide.


Confidence is important to human survival but so is Wisdom.

originally posted by: breakingbs
a reply to: namelesss

Then you don't know what its like to be me.

Yes, I do.

Its all I really knew. I actually kinda lost it a little as time went by. Or maybe it just "balanced out" a little.

Then, perhaps that was not 'confidence', but the analog amongst the younger set; 'bravado', glittery and empty...
That, with maturity, does wear off!

I figure if someone contends with me based off of just that, than theyre kinna petty.

I don't know what you are saying. Care to clarify?
Are you, calling me names for some reason?

Ps, wisdom, btw is not the same as caution,

I never implied that it is.

and i take caution all of the time.

"All" the time? *__-