It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Dear "Religious" Anti-Gay Parents - What if your child turns out to be LBGT+?

page: 1
20
<<   2  3  4 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 02:45 PM
link   
This question is a big one. Like those philosophical conundrums in books that try to help us think about what we would do.

I made conscious decisions about these things when my children were very small. Although by then I had largely abandoned "religiosity", there were things that I expected would come up and I forced myself to consider how I would respond/react.

The worst case, of course, is "what if one of my children died?" And the unimaginable pain that would bring still frightens me. I believe I would go mad. But, let's talk about more mundane issues.

Specifically this: If you are a Conservative Bible-Believing Christian - or a Muslim who supports killing 'gays' - or anyone else who DUE TO RELIGIOUS CONVICTIONS abhors the "gays" - what will you do if your child announces to you that they are a boy trapped in a girl's body, or that they are simply gay? What if your straight male child falls in love with a wonderful, beautiful girl who turns out to be transgendered? Or tells you their best friend is gay?

I REALLY want participants to think this over.
Likewise, suppose you find out that your child has been using drugs for years without your knowledge; or is a pick-pocket or armed robber?

You Christians like to talk about gays as "abominations" and "sinners" - and that's easy to do when it's not your kid.....
but -
WHAT IF IT HAPPENS?

I had a client years ago who was brought up in a strict Catholic family. As a 40-year old gay man, he struggled DAILY with fear that he would actually go to hell, and suffered with the ostracization/rejection of his parents. He was miserable, but managing to live his life as close to truthfully as he could.

Would you disown your child FOR ANY REASON?
And if so, what do you hope to gain by doing that?
If not, how would you adjust your presumed "horror" response to allow you to continue to love and be supportive of your child?

I ask this not to bait anyone, but to stimulate the thought process of "what if."

So - again: If you have a small child, or are planning to have children, imagine what you would do if they turned out to be gay?

When my son was born, in a public hospital serving the uninsured, I was given a questionnaire. (I already had a 2-year old daughter who was born in a modern, state-of-the-art birthing center). One of the questions was:

what do you want your child to be when he or she grows up? (Examples such as "doctor, firefighter, lawyer, teacher, artist, athlete, etc" were provided.)
My response was: HAPPY.

There is NOTHING my children could do that would make me stop loving them. Parenting is a seat-of-the-pants adventure. Even the most well-equipped, educated parent will meet with surprises along the way. It's a skill and an important part of parenting to mentally prepare oneself for 'unpleasant' or 'confusing' or 'bewildering' circumstances.

After all, to have children is to have a part of your heart walking around outside of you.

I hope you all will give it some thought if you have never done so.


edit on 8/19/2015 by BuzzyWigs because: fine. I changed the title.

edit on 8/19/2015 by BuzzyWigs because: Sweet Jesus - so many "editors" -- can people just talk without being attacked?




posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 02:50 PM
link   

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
This question is a big one. Like those philosophical conundrums in books that try to help us think about what we would do.



Probably to your great surprise.
I know you won't believe me, especially me.

I'd love them exactly the same.
I'd cheer for their hopes and dreams exactly the same.
I'd love the person they love as I love my son-in-laws now.

And you know I am a Christian
and according to you many times over
absolutely one of the worst Christians.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 02:50 PM
link   
a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Anyone who has to qualify the love for their children based on ANYTHING is an asshole.

That goes for Christians, Muslims, Atheists, Deists, Jews, Wiccans, Buddists, Spag-Monsterians.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 02:53 PM
link   
a reply to: grandmakdw


Probably to your great surprise.
I know you won't believe me, especially me.

Relax. I believe you.
Please don't project onto me what you think I think about you.

I'm glad to hear your response. Thanks.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 02:53 PM
link   
a reply to: beezzer


Anyone who has to qualify the love for their children based on ANYTHING is an asshole.

Total agreement. And should not have children if that is their attitude.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 02:56 PM
link   
I think its a valid question.

My parents brought me up within the church but by 18 I had gone my own seperate way to a non Christian way of thinking.



Do you they think I will go to hell cos I don't believe in Jesus? Does this sadden them? I have no idea. I have never asked. Maybe I don't want to hear the answer.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 02:58 PM
link   
a reply to: MrsNonSpecific

Do you pretend around them that you still "believe"? Do you talk about religion with your parents?
(Just asking.)

And what if by chance they happened to hear about it through the 'grape-vine' - because, this sometimes happens. Many people suffer from the 'judgment' imposed by their parents, whether for their career choice, or their sexual orientation, or their lifestyle in general....

What do you THINK their answer would be? And does it matter to you how they would respond?
edit on 8/19/2015 by BuzzyWigs because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:00 PM
link   

originally posted by: beezzer
a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Anyone who has to qualify the love for their children based on ANYTHING is an asshole.

That goes for Christians, Muslims, Atheists, Deists, Jews, Wiccans, Buddists, Spag-Monsterians.


Beautifully stated bunny.


If a parent doesn't love their child because of his / her sexual orientation then the parent should go to hell.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:02 PM
link   
You love your children even when you don't approve of everything about them and their lives. They have to be who they are and not who you would have them be.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:07 PM
link   
I have a childhood friend that became a protestant minister. He learned that his daughter was a lesbian.
He supports her.
Christianity is about love. If you see a Christian that is not loving, they aren't doing it correctly.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:09 PM
link   
a reply to: ketsuko

Thanks. I agree.
Not all parents do, though. I knew a young lady when my daughter was in college who was the sole heiress to her father's fortune, and was born to be just that. She was an only child, privileged and spoiled, and her parents expected her to follow her bankster-father's path. When it came time for her to do a summer stint on Wall Street, she had horrible anxiety attacks and HATED it. She would vomit every morning and have melt-downs on a daily basis. It was all she could do to really speak her mind to them.

She and I became close for a while.

She wanted to be a writer.... she was intelligent, beautiful (like, model-quality beautiful), funny, and a free spirit;
her parents threatened to cut her off, and even stopped paying her tuition and made her "come home" to their 'manor house' in New York and put her in a mental hospital. They withdrew her from school (this was at a prestigious private university mostly populated by rich kids) until she 'straightened out'.

Now she is graduated and living her jet-set life, and did wind up working in social services and writing after all.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:12 PM
link   

originally posted by: butcherguy
I have a childhood friend that became a protestant minister. He learned that his daughter was a lesbian.
He supports her.
Christianity is about love. If you see a Christian that is not loving, they aren't doing it correctly.


Part of the problem is the refusal to separate sin from sinner. The sin is the act. My parents disapproved of certain premarital adventures I was guilty of, but they never stopped loving me.

In this case, it's like we'll stop loving our children because we disapprove of this thing about them, but it's just one thing. And it's hardly their totality. A person is so much more than what they do in their bedroom.

Sometimes the way this issue is carried on, it's like if a person is rendered incapable of any sexual activity at all we ought to suddenly consider them inhuman.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:12 PM
link   
Who gives a ratts ass what you think? Ultimately it's your child's decision.
I'm sorry if I misinterpreted that ENTIRE thing.
edit on 19-8-2015 by Spader because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:13 PM
link   
a reply to: BuzzyWigs

I'm curious why you have chosen Christian parents as the focus for this thread. Is it because you are only interested in how Christian parents react?



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:14 PM
link   
a reply to: ketsuko


Part of the problem is the refusal to separate sin from sinner.

So then - forgive me if I'm jumping to conclusions - but, would you consider them to be 'sinning' if they chose a non-heterosexual relationship or person? Would you think they'd go to "hell" and tell them so?



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:16 PM
link   

originally posted by: Revolution9
a reply to: BuzzyWigs

I'm curious why you have chosen Christian parents as the focus for this thread. Is it because you are only interested in how Christian parents react?



We all know how IS parents react.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:16 PM
link   
a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Hi there Buzzy!

It doesn't matter what my child does - I will always love her. Her life is hers. My only purpose now is to guide her and be there for her no matter what. Whether drugs, murder or if gay she is still my daughter, she is still a child of God and I cannot judge. It is her life to live. If gay I would open my arms and welcome her person of choice.

In my opinion we are all equal, no more, no less. And we are all deserving of and wanting love. No matter the most horrible person they all want and need love. I might be the only person that ever expresses love. Maybe that person is so evil that they must be locked up but I can still love them as a human to another and feel for what went so terribly wrong in their life to turn them that way.

I have gay friends that I adore and they are a huge part of my life. I don't judge them and make them a part of my life. They would do anything for me and vice versa - and that's real love.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:17 PM
link   
a reply to: Revolution9


I'm curious why you have chosen Christian parents as the focus for this thread. Is it because you are only interested in how Christian parents react?

I'm interested in how ANY parent would react.

But yes, I addressed it to Christian parents because many (though certainly not ALL) are the people saying "gays will burn in hell." And "it's an abomination and a choice", etc.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:18 PM
link   
a reply to: BuzzyWigs

I was just looking at your previous threads as I have noticed a pattern in your thread activities. You seem to be very interested in Christians in a challenging way. If you look at your threads there is quite a number of them.



posted on Aug, 19 2015 @ 03:20 PM
link   

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
a reply to: Revolution9


I'm curious why you have chosen Christian parents as the focus for this thread. Is it because you are only interested in how Christian parents react?

I'm interested in how ANY parent would react.

But yes, I addressed it to Christian parents because many (though certainly not ALL) are the people saying "gays will burn in hell." And "it's an abomination and a choice", etc.



Do you know what Muslims would think about it? You should ask them, too. May be ask the Jews and all the others.



new topics

top topics



 
20
<<   2  3  4 >>

log in

join