posted on Jan, 4 2015 @ 01:53 AM
I got started thinking about something, set off by another thread…poverty mentality.
Personally, I found this to be a huge revelation and hurdle for me in my own life.
I was born into poverty and continued in it for a large part of my life, and when that started to change, I kept running into my own beliefs and
attitudes that just started to prove false. I kept running into reality like a brick wall.
This is not a “how to get rich” inspirational talk- I won’t claim God talked to me one day and told me I have the power to create my reality,
and I made it happen.
I didn’t have any dreams of being financially well off, I had no goals for that. I was pretty well adapted to my familiar state, and had beliefs
which told me it was better to be poor anyway. Being poor had certain advantages, in my mind. Being poor allowed one to escape the traps and pulls of
becoming unethical and immoral and corrupt.
I had family members who were very rich, and surrounded by many successful and even famous people, but I never felt envious.
Being poor allowed me to focus on the importance of love, relationship, fraternity with my fellow humans, and not distracted by the complexities and
bondage of material ownership.
I just wanted to live in the moment in joy. I repeatedly made choices that would sacrifice money in exchange for joy. But what I found was that
following your joy trails material abundance along with it. If you are enjoying what you are doing, it blooms, in all sorts of ways.
One of the biggest examples in my own life was when I was young and married, with three young children. I did not speak the language in the country I
was in, so was not working at the time, but my husband had a job which gave us the security we needed to survive. We had a house, we didn’t have a
car, but we lived directly across the street from the school, and my husband had a scooter to get to work on. We were happy!
Except his job started to mutate, from being an artist, he was pushed into being more of a salesman than anything else, and he began to be unhappy
with his work. I couldn’t stand him being unhappy- that was not what I wanted for him. So I put energy into talking him into quitting.
It was hard to do, especially since his family members would call each night crying and whining about his choice, telling him he was stupid and crazy,
and that he better take whatever job he could find right away- working in a gas station, at a grocery store, whatever. Each night, they brought him
down and made him question his choice and himself. (which was quite out of character- he is usually in a state of perpetual optimism! )
It became a job for me just trying to pick him up again after each call and inspire him to believe in himself. To believe he could find something that
he would enjoy doing.
Money was not the issue or goal- I have been hungry before and it doesn’t phase me. How much a job paid was irrelevant- I wanted him to do something
One thing led to another, he found out about a job he would enjoy doing. It entailed going back to school for a while- driving two hours on the
scooter each day to get there, and having to study hard each night. He did it. He did it because the prospect of doing something he loved propelled
him. NOT money.
He became very successful pretty quick, and it always seemed a shock to us- we never expected much and it seemed like money started falling on our
That is really his story, not mine, because he accomplished it. But the point is, it wasn’t by focusing on desire for money that it came about.
Then we began to find ourselves in the midst of people from a different social class. That was when I started getting hit by my misconceptions.
Like that rich people are immoral, unkind, selfish. Or that they are obsessed with money. That they have sacrificed the quality of their relationships
for work or money.
I found that in the majority, it was the opposite! They were successful for the same reason my husband became so- because they were motivated by their
goal of doing things that made them happy (not having things). That they had strong support systems within their personal relationships and networks,
precisely because they were kind and generous and caring. That they had pretty tight ethical principles, that they adhered to, which allowed them to
have a real self confidence (if you often go against your own morals, you destroy some of your self respect, and that sabotages you in the long
It was amazingly hard for me to let go of my ideas. But reality wouldn’t budge, I could not deny it. I realized that all these beliefs were coping
mechanisms that had been useful for me in the past, so that I did not feel jealous or bitter about having less. They were successful in that. But all
coping mechanisms reach a point where they cease to be needed or effective, and become obstacles and sources of problem instead.
We consider that many things need maintenance- we brush our teeth, wash our hair, clean our house, cut our lawn…. But even our beliefs and thoughts
need some maintenance from time to time. We need to take a look at what is worn out and needs to be thrown away, what needs to be replaced.