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[SEC2014] Above Civilized

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posted on Nov, 3 2014 @ 02:43 PM
As I battled with it I refused to be defeated in what I felt was a match of brains over brawn, with a sense of inevitability about my victory. Finally with one last tug I was able to prize the kitchen drawer open to be met with an sight of horror, the amalgamation of the failures of my last 10 years. The drawer held disused watches with faces that offered no guidance and wrapped by snakes of wiring that carried no spark of purpose. Amongst the mesh of the now useless was the torch that I had been in search of, and with two clicks it showed it still had something to offer unlike myself. My life at the age of 39 had become a blur of monotony stitched together with little challenges such as the battle with the kitchen drawer. My 40th birthday loomed large somewhat like the vast dark mountain at which my humble home sat at the foot of. My life had become devoid of
excitement and purpose, much like the mountain that blocked out the light that I once knew to be there. It was this desire for something more that propelled me out of my lounge chair to inspect flickering lights that appeared halfway up the mountain.
With my warmest winter jacket blocking me from the harsh winds I made my way to a small patch which disappeared into the darkness a few feet ahead. With the half charged torch I was able to provide some sense of direction and made my way through the tangles of trees with the branches pulling at my coat in hope to deter me from my assent. With the lights now only 20 yards above me my trembling hands had quickly turned to uncontrollable shaking. The excitement and fear was overwhelming to the point I was losing control of my torch beam.
I finally came to the area where the source of lights appeared to originate. My hearing was heightened picking up every whistle of the wind and crack of twig beneath my now motionless feet as I peered through a small opening between some trees. Blinded by the brightness of the small lights I shuffled closer in order to gain an view of any source. Then with a surge of shock taking hold from my feet right up through my body our eyes met. There she was or was it a he, I wasn’t sure. All I was sure of was I had never seen something so intriguingly beautiful as its glowing small smiling face encompassed by light smiled at me with a sense of curiosity. It was humanoid but of three feet high, its clothes were glowing white and let out a warmth that was blanketing my face with a sense of reassurance. Its eyes were large, and as another came into view I saw it shared the same
The initial sense of shock had quickly vanished in a warmth that encouraged me to move closer and as I came into the opening and stood facing these beings a loud clear voice filled my head silencing the elements around me. The voice did not have a source but after telling me who it was I knew it was coming from the being in front of me whose small round lips had not separated. The voice wanted to know who and what I was, and for how long this world that we are in had existed. Any thoughts or answers I could offer were buried in the confusion of a mind that couldn’t comprehend what was happening. The voice explained they are from a civilization from within their earth and had heard stories of ancient primitive cultures that once inhabited the the outer world. They didn’t believe these teachings and had set forth on a voyage to find this lost civilization, my civilization. Finally I found my voice and a rush of questions filled my mind, however the only thing that came out was this civilization was not here. The world that I was a powerless part of held no resemblance to the definition of civilized. A world maintained and contained by fear, control and war was not one they would wish to discover and they should leave immediately.
They could feel the sincerity in the fear and terror I spoke of, however they struggled to fully grasp the idea of a world devoid of freedom. After a short time in silence they agreed they must leave, however would insist I should be truly free and come with them. Through what I know their world will know the dangers and evil that has enslaved the outer world. That it was no longer empty of life but was currently empty of freedoms. Looking back towards my empty home and my empty life I felt the need to go with them and leave my once secret uncivilized world. Unsure of what lay ahead I felt it had to be more than what I was leaving. Finally I was able to make a true fee choice and was going to face the consequences of true freedom.

posted on Nov, 4 2014 @ 02:09 AM

posted on Nov, 4 2014 @ 03:16 AM
a reply to: Night Star


Looking back over it i see a few mistakes, never try to write a story with a 2 year old wanting to watch peppa pig :p

I thought id go against the grain of us discovering a new civilization and go towards us being discovered as a civilization or more apt uncivilized :s

Not my best but was fun thinking of the idea. Maybe with a better thought out path it could be a good way to go.

Thanks again

posted on Nov, 4 2014 @ 06:41 AM
I thought it turned out great!

posted on Nov, 4 2014 @ 09:11 AM
a reply to: liteonit6969

Very Good Story! I liked This !!

posted on Nov, 4 2014 @ 10:50 AM
a reply to: SyxPak

Thanks for the comment, hopefully with a bit of practice i will improve. Long time since English lit assignments at school.

posted on Nov, 4 2014 @ 12:43 PM
a reply to: Night Star

Thanks, means alot coming from a pro

posted on Nov, 4 2014 @ 12:56 PM
a reply to: liteonit6969

Beautiful imagery and a great story!

posted on Nov, 4 2014 @ 12:58 PM
It was intresting. It started like a blair witch project, haunting feeling in a forest, a place where you don´t want to be at those hours and continued with the feeling of Close Encounters of the Third Kind which was about amazement and everything turned out to be kindly and friendly. Very good !

posted on Nov, 4 2014 @ 01:07 PM
a reply to: Jennyfrenzy

Thanks so much, was worried in case i over used the imagery and lost the flow of the story. Hopefully with practice will improve.

posted on Nov, 4 2014 @ 01:16 PM
a reply to: dollukka

Thanks, yeh was trying to create an idea of the world the character lived in was one of fear, unknown and confusion. Then by taking that leap of faith he made the journey and discovered something better than he had become part of. The shining light through the dark dwarfed by the mountain was sort of meant to be hope and those who lived below actually being more civilized than those who lived above was an attempt at the class structure where those at the top look down upon the peasants.

Bit of a mess but my heads like that most of the time anyway so

once again thanks for the feedback

posted on Nov, 5 2014 @ 10:46 PM
a reply to: liteonit6969

or when they want to color

watching barney

(I am thinkin of starting a safari )

Loved the story

posted on Nov, 6 2014 @ 12:13 AM
a reply to: ripcontrol

Its strange they dont know how to type but find their favorite button is the power button and when you don't give 100% attention their new favorite game becomes stick their finger in the plug socket and take first steps to become a knife juggler. :p

The joys of parenting, i don't know what will get me first...the baldness or the grey hair

Thanks for the compliment on the story

posted on Nov, 6 2014 @ 10:17 AM
S and F

It made me ask questions like, how long had they livd in the inner earth and when was the last time they came out. Was it set during our time period or when there were less of us and less tech?

posted on Nov, 6 2014 @ 10:39 AM
a reply to: zazzafrazz

Hi, thanks. Its set in todays society. Due to it being a hidden civilization comp i thought id go against the grain and have us as the hidden civilization. I was imaging an Atlantis type civilization who discovered a habitable inner world due to their higher existence. To them the whole upper world was destroyed uninhabitable. Through the many many generations this history turned to folklore amongst the young until it was accepted that the upper world was a black void where many horrible things would happen as told by stories (no tv or ridiculous media). So the curiosity got the better of this group of young men and women who set out to disprove the stories they had been told all their lives.
The inner world i was thinking would cause them to be slightly smaller and due to the dark dank conditions they were slightly illuminated through an evolutionary change that caused this bacteria to form on their skin. The story will really start once he heads down into the unknown because no matter where one lives there are always dangers and temptations that can bring out things that people wouldnt think they were capable of.

Sorry lost it a bit there. Wish it were true, but just in case dont go sticking your head down any rabbit holes just yet

posted on Nov, 6 2014 @ 10:41 AM
a reply to: liteonit6969

That's a great concept

posted on Nov, 6 2014 @ 10:21 PM
Definitely enjoyed the concept. I like when things get flipped around like this.

posted on Nov, 7 2014 @ 06:37 AM
a reply to: TacticalStats

Thanks so much, i know the structure of the story is weak as was rushing to get done (the perks of parenthood
). I am gonna have another go at it but structure is and refine the style a good bit, also some dialogue between the characters would be great and create a better understanding of the characters.

I think its easier to criticize you own work

posted on Nov, 8 2014 @ 11:03 AM
Interesting take!

I know how hard it is to write with kids around - I made several mistakes on my last story, including misspelling the title! lol! I had to ask bigfatfurrytexan to fix it for me! So don't feel bad about that.

I liked how the "others" could have been fey or mystical in some way, or simply a lost species that moved underground.

Thanks for the read,


posted on Nov, 8 2014 @ 11:58 AM
a reply to: AboveBoard

I got a flash back to The lost tv series with the "others"
, feels a long time ago. Also i dont think the mistakes stop with the stories, the kids contribute (didnt want to say cause
) to too many mistakes be it from cooking, studying, thats driven me to do most things at night when they sleep lol. But i only make mistakes because they are so full of life and make my life so full so take the good with the bad :p.

It makes you wonder the liklihood of some lost civilization that have taken underground. Maybe started out with exploring the caves during a huge flood and through the survival instinct in the human makeup they began to dig and found refuge deep under a long dormant volcano.
If i let my mind wander i can imagine the beginnings of such mystical creatures or even the idea of fairies. By using the idea of evolution you can imagine how a species once ago like us who took to a area so dark and minimal in space could lead to an evolution where the species became smaller and with a no sunlight evolved in a way to adapt to their surroundings. Furthermore due to their lack of technology (lost in the flood which drove them under) and their appreciation for surviving they turn to within in spirituality. This would lead to recognizing and developing the power of the mind with what would become something we see as magic. (Sorry gotta stop getting carried away, scientists would be baffled using the theory of evolution with that of the mystical.)

btw i like your background, is that a world you created through your stories and brought it to life?

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