It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
originally posted by: intrptr
You are already struggling with the issue I can tell… that's why you started a thread on it.
originally posted by: mblahnikluver
a reply to: Dark Ghost
I was with someone for almost three years who had an addition to pain pills. I stood by him when he went to rehab three times. It didn't work. He started to get physical with me. It started with verbal abuse and then escalated. The abuse was my final straw. I was not going to be his punching bag when I was trying to help him but he didn't want the help and that was obvious. Someone has to WANT the help before you can do anything for them. I learned that and it took awhile because I'm the type of person who wants to help everyone esp if it is someone I"m close to.
The first year we were together he was fine it was the last two that were basically hell. When he was off the pills he was a different person. It was like Jekyl and Hyde with him. The rehab facilities didn't do much, they actually gave him more drugs to become addicted to and he was someone who had an addictive personality.
I think the time to walk away is when it is hurting YOU personally in a way that is unacceptable. For me it was the abuse. I didn't deserve it and he clearly needed more help than I could give and if he wasn't willing to take it there was nothing I could do.
I had a friend who was an alcoholic, she admitted it but she also never really took control of her addiction. She kind of joked at it. She spent one month in jail about 11yrs ago and that didn't even scare her straight. Well it did but not for long. I have not had contact with her in a few years so I have no idea how she is now but the last time I talked to her she called me asking me to come get her because she didn't want her husband to see she had been drinking. I got many calls like that from her over the years.
originally posted by: MojaveBurning
a reply to: mblahnikluver
I was thinking of how to word my reply when I refreshed and saw yours... which is eerily similar to what I was going to say! I was with a guy an addiction. It was beer for him, he hid at first how much he was addicted. I didn't fully understand until we moved in together. By then of course, I was "in love" and determined to "save him". Then he broke his back and pill addiction was thrown into the mix. (stay off those grapevines kiddies!).
Same as you, when it became abusive I concluded that he would not be saved until he wanted to be saved, and it became necessary to save myself. I cut out and have never looked back.
Like you said. When it becomes damaging to yourself, that's the time to say goodbye.
If it's a family member, the best you can do is not enable them. Don't give them money for their addiction. If you can, say goodbye to them, let them know that when the time comes that they are ready for help, you will be there for them.