Soldier Comes Out To Father After Don't Ask Don't Tell Repeal

Just caught this on Aol News. I can very much appreciate this soldier. A brave man that obviously has come from a wonderful family. Some may say that this is strange that he filmed this, but he has shown courage for others to follow by his actions in my opinion. It was hard to not feel his fear while watching this video.

www.aol.com...

THis is relevent today because the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rule was officially repealed today. I do not personally think people will all just suddenly come out of the woodwork and admit they are gay anytime soon in the military, but at least they have a choice to be who they really are if they want to.

One Naval officer celebrated by marrying his boyfriend in Vermont. I served with gays in the military and saw no problem with them serving their country.

Navy officer weds partner as 'don't ask, don't tell' ends

reply to post by SunnyDee


It is strange to me but I just don't see why my Father or Mother or anyone needs to know anything about my sex life.
I guess they just want to be with a partner holding hands in public or such?
It is a shame that the whole world of sexual differences has to be associated with things like the disgusting parades in San Francisco and gay hot tub world brought up on talk shows which just makes anyone with children and values that call for keeping our private lives private cringe.
I don't see the value in all this openness. I am not a lesbian but I have never discussed my sexual preferences with anyone, honestly I think most people close enough to you to care would guess anyway.

reply to post by buster2010


Nice addition to this story.

Off topic, I've been curious to know who your avatar is. It looks like Ron Paul and Clinton combined, yes?

Glad he is not my son. I would have been so ashamed.

Sure flamboyant. But that is there style I guess?

reply to post by Char-Lee


Well if you want to speak to your family and friends, eventually you will reference your mate, like we all do. I refer to my husband in conversations constantly as an example.

There are plenty of reasons to have to explain this to a parent. Can you imagine keeping it a secret all your life, while family keeps asking you when you are going to settle down and find a nice girl (in the case of a gay man), just one example.

Once it's out there you don't have to speak about the sexuality of it to people.

reply to post by SunnyDee

K thanks I can see that. But can't it be private between family members that you may feel need to know. I still don't think I would feel they need to know if it was me.
Example we have a family friend who has never married and never had a girlfriend and had behaviors that lead us to guess he may be gay. Not asking him and could care less and really don't feel any reason we need to know as friends. What he does in private is his just like our private lives are not talked about to him.

I believe sexual preferences are private and should be discreet, I do not go around telling people what kind of sex I like to have.

The military still have a code of conduct and that code of conduct is for everybody no just one particular group, race or other.

This so call coming out of the closet looks like bad propaganda to me is going to be turn by a few that have no regard for their own wellbeing into a circus.

Does anybody knows that sodomy is not allowed in the code of conduct? well that has been worked out, occurs still why should I care who sodomize who or what, but as usual is a circus around this issue also.

Sad that some feel that making a big deal of their sexual preferences is such and important issue this days, but then again America is and will always be obsessed with sex.

BTW I am a retire marine wife.

Originally posted by SunnyDee
reply to post by buster2010

 

Nice addition to this story.

Off topic, I've been curious to know who your avatar is. It looks like Ron Paul and Clinton combined, yes?

This is what the full picture looks like. Just him superimposed on the constitution.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/43aab5d8cd63.jpg[/atsimg]

I wanted to use another pic of him but it didn't fit right.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/9ce01e9f5eae.jpg[/atsimg]

Originally posted by marg6043
I believe sexual preferences are private and should be discreet, I do not go around telling people what kind of sex I like to have.

The military still have a code of conduct and that code of conduct is for everybody no just one particular group, race or other.

This so call coming out of the closet looks like bad propaganda to me is going to be turn by a few that have no regard for their own wellbeing into a circus.

Does anybody knows that sodomy is not allowed in the code of conduct? well that has been worked out, occurs still why should I care who sodomize who or what, but as usual is a circus around this issue also.

Sad that some feel that making a big deal of their sexual preferences is such and important issue this days, but then again America is and will always be obsessed with sex.

BTW I am a retire marine wife.

It is a big deal. That law allowed the military to discriminate against people simply because of who they choose to sleep with. What happens behind closed doors between consenting adults is their own business not the military's.

reply to post by buster2010


Behavior based discrimination is legal. The US military has historically considered homosexuality dishonorable behavior. Only in more recent times when political correctness has led to force acceptance of anything so as not to offend could this repeal happen. It only makes sense though, that the decay of morality in the military start to match the decay of morality in American society.

reply to post by buster2010


The only discrimination I saw in the military in my 20+ years as a Marine wife was when the issue of HIV became a supposedly health problem within the military.

That is the only time I witness issues and it was because lack of understanding of the disease at the time.

Homosexuals has always been in the military and have served well, so why the big deal now, is nothing but propaganda and a way to turn an issue into a circus

I am very well aware during my time as a Marine wife of who of our friends were partners, we didn't care because it was not agendas.

Still what good will do to go around telling everybody what kind of sexual preferences you have, is not going to change the mentality of anybody the same way that have not change any mentalities before or after the new law was passed.

Nothing but propaganda, sad but truth.

You know what decorum means? it goes both ways regardless in the military

reply to post by marg6043


Well America is always trying to be progressive, it's kind of what we stand for. We tend to believe we are always moving forward not backward, and this subject is part of the movement.

People are gay. They should have equal rights. Obviously, until their rights are worked out, it's gonna be in the spotlight. I would guess that most gay people would rather not talk this subject to death anymore than heterosexual people, but they are fighting for rights in this era we're in, and when fighting it can get noisy.

I salute this young man and his courage.
It is such a pressure off one's shoulders to finally be what you are, without people having immediate expectations that you're straight by default.
It comes after so many years of being hounded and outed by heterosexuals who spied on gay people's private lives and persecuted them by making their sexuality a (public) judicial, civil rights and violation of privacy issue.
The only way to organize for our rights and to live honestly and be accepted as people (with our partners) is to come out.

Hopefully this paves the way for a future where sexual orientation or preference is no longer an issue.
I'd be a bit unsure of whether to trust the new openness.
It could simply be a way to identify gays in the US army, and work them out by other means.
Nevertheless, I think it's great that young men like this (for example) can finally come out openly, without any fear of "conduct unbecoming", or a fear of losing their careers.

Just another reason to like the USA!

reply to post by marg6043


Well Marg, you just openly shared you are heterosexual with all of us, with out fear or judgement. There was no decorum called into question, right?

Now if a person comes into this thread and tells us he is gay or lesbian, are you going to call them out for bad decorum and sad propaganda?

I am glad the guy's father was accepting, as all parents should be. THAT is unconditional love.



It seems that straight people feel gays should keep their lives secret, not private. Do straight married couples hide their partners and keep the fact that they are straight a secret?

I am sick of all these disgusting straight people having kids and exposing them to straight relationships. All I see on TV is straight people having their boy girl relationships. Maybe everyone should only have secret lives, that way we don't disgust each other.

Please don't make it so obvious that you're straight. And if my kids turn out straight, I will disown them and be so ashamed.

Really, listen to yourselves for a moment.

Damn that must have been hard to do. I was pretty impressed with his dad's reaction too. That must have been quite a shock.

Originally posted by Domo1
Damn that must have been hard to do. I was pretty impressed with his dad's reaction too. That must have been quite a shock.

Yes, it is a very hard thing to do, unless your parents are gay and that's usually not the case. I know personally when I told my parents, it was the scariest thing I've ever done, and I KNEW my parents wouldn't reject me. I can only imagine how it must feel to have parents who you aren't sure will be ok with it.

It's not so much the need to tell them as it is the need to NOT lie to them.

I think its great he talked to his dad, and got this off his chest..because it did seem to be bothering him that he was hiding it from them.

Not so sure about video taping it, and putting it on youtube though... that seems to be violating the privacy of his dad and his gf..

If he told his dad that he had recorded it,and asked if he could share it with the whole world..thats a different story..

...hopefully he did..