The real terrorist was me - A US Soldier

Originally posted by xX aFTeRm4Th Xx
reply to post by backinblack

 

Ya I'm absolutely after stars as you can see i post regularly about once a frickin month... are you kiddin me!?!?! how is this any more relevant now than it was a year ago...


/

lol, well the OP's monthly post count is less than yours..

But it's relevant with the debate about how just the current wars are and with the situation that seems to be brewing in the ME..

reply to post by backinblack


Great point... did I mention your my hero!?!?! thank you for convincing me... anyways onto relevant and logical debate

This thread reminds me of the past. War crimes have gone on since the first world war. Your post is something the normal person should know about, aka common sense.

If as a soldier you don't like what you see why not just stop and accept the punishment of your superiors, after all they're not going to put you to a firing squad are they.

One only does what they do because they choose not to do otherwise. You were under a command but you were not 'forced' to do anything at pain of death or similar.

So why did you continue or did it only dawn on you much much later? So you killed 12 people, were they kills based on kill or be killed?

The other question I'm curious about it what did you expect in the Armed Forces. I mean most of the rest of the world can see what happens these days, what blinded you to it? Patriotism?

All that aside, there are people that are worse off than you, (I know it's an cliche - but it's true). I want you to go to the worst part of your town or area and talk to those that live in difficult circumstances (don't you tell them about you - just listen to them). Eventually within a few days you will realize you have a few bad memories but much to live for and much to give, and you are 10x better off before, now and in the future than some who live within a few miles of you.

Then dress up, keep your head high and put back into your community. Get your eyes off yourself, your problems and onto thins that will give you much pleasure - helping others.

Here's a goal. Help 12 people live!

reply to post by Immortalgemini527


Fair enough. I'll look after my own soul, and you can look after yours.

Have a nice Eternity.

Originally posted by 27jd
reply to post by 2manyquestions

 

Defending your home and loved ones from attack is not against most peoples nature. Being the offenders/invaders, for no reason other than to make somebody else richer, rightfully goes against most decent peoples nature. That is not how the military is marketed here, and most people who join rightfully believe they are joining to defend this country against all enemies, foreign and domestic. To say people should have expected that they would be invading the homes of people who have no desire or ability to harm this nation, is just wrong.

A long time ago I considered joining the army. The ads and some movies on TV made it seem pretty attractive. Ultimately I decided against it, because I knew that if I joined, there was the possibility that I would have to kill people. I also considered the fact that our government would try to send me places where I did not want to go. I remembered what happened in Vietnam, Korea, and all the other conflicts since. I decided I didn't want to give my life for false political ideologies. If some nation tried to invade us and hurt us for no good reason, I would pick up a gun and defend my family and friends against them. I would do what I would have to do. I am not against defending ourselves against enemies who wish to harm us. I am against giving my life for a politician who doesn't give a rats' a$$ about me.

I think it is everyone's personal responsibility to do the research before you sign your life away. The army is no joke. That's serious, life-changing business. If you decide to sign the dotted line, you better understand what it is you are doing. It is also the responsibility of the parents to explain to their sons and daughters what to expect from serving in the army. Maybe not everyone understands what the consequences of taking a life mean, but I've thought about it long and hard, and decided it's not something I want to put myself through.

That being said, I do appreciate our soldiers. What I don't appreciate is politicians around the world striking secret deals with each other and playing chess with human lives. I can support noble efforts, but I can't support these disgusting games they like to play.

What generation is going to be the first one to get ahead of the curve on the issue of war?

What generation is going to be the first one to expunge phrases like "My country right or wrong" from the language?

Another generation of vets who go overseas and do the crimes and then come back and do the whine doesn't cut it.

I hope this current generation of vets will get proactive in the 9/11 truth movement and in government and in journalism and among their friends to make sure this crap doesn't happen again. I'm sure they will, but they must push it hard, harder than the Vietnam era people did and that was a hard push.

That video was powerful.

As a mere observer, thousands of miles away from any conflict, I have nothing else to add. There is nothing more poignant than the real-life observations of someone who has lived the life and experienced the horrors and truth of war. As an armchair critic, a world away from their reality, I genuinely thank people like this for calling it as only they can.

This is truth without a filter.

If his speech doesn't sum it all up, I don't know what will.

If only the war cheerleaders could walk a mile or live a day in their shoes...

This post may turn into a long, rambling dead end but I am just going to get it all down anyway in case it can help any veterans understand that they are not alone, even when they aren't among other veterans who can truly understand. I can never go through what you have gone through, but you are not alone, and there are many people here back home who are not willing to close their eyes.

Early in the Iraq War, one of my buddy's brothers signed up for Marine OCS after graduating from college and he shipped out leaving a brand new bride at home. He was part of one of the "core" families in town; the father coached football for years and the whole family was really active in the community. He died in combat and was the first casualty from our county; the tragic news hit the broader community and hundreds of people converged on the family home for days as his family...being public figures...had to heroically put on their best face for the Corp., the mission, and their lost son. For a lot of people, this was no longer a distant event on CNN and the whole town was changed forever.

Shortly after, another buddy of mine signed up for Marine OCS as he just couldn't stand sitting on his ass after what happened. He wanted to make a difference. I was simultaneously as proud of him as I could ever be, and completely horrified. I am choking up as I write this...I was so scared and all I wanted to do was sign up to make sure I could protect him, but I couldn't because of a medical condition. When I went to his graduation I was afraid I would lose my friend forever. It's all I could think about. I felt like a real #...still do.

He made it through a tour in Afghanistan and came back really upbeat. When he got back he got us all those Afghani tea cozy hats and made us wear them out to the bar. Needless to say we had a lot of explaining to do with all the locals giving us the hairy eyeball, but once they realized it was one of their own celebrating his homecoming it turned out to be a real good night.

He eventually made it out for another tour, this time in Iraq, and when he came home after that his demeanor was different. We were goofing around with a paintball gun one day and when he noticed it, he dove straight into the ground. Watching him do that made me want to throw up; I thought, how bad does it have to be over there to have this kind of effect even after people are home and safe with friends and family?

I moved away and in one of my travels I ended up on a flight taking soldiers back home. The pilots announced that this was their first time back and the whole cabin cheered and bought them drinks. I sat behind one of them and overheard a lady chatting away at him the whole time. She was puffing up with patriotism and going on and on about the war, and at first I could tell that the soldier was happy to hear all of it. But as she went on, I could tell she was overstepping her boundaries a little and I was able to hear it in his voice as he began to get a little distant, maybe just wanting her to shut up, but maybe realizing that maybe he didn't want to talk about it as her glibness kind of cheapened what he had really gone through, or was really feeling. It started to sound like she was foisting her Mickey Mouse version of the war on the soldier and it definitely made me feel uncomfortable for him.

I thought about what I had seen in my friends, in my town, and after the other passengers had collected their bags and moved on, I hung around talking to some of the soldiers as they kind of collected into a group, got real quiet, and waited for their rides. Something about the way they carried themselves made me really sad, and after all these years of studies and experience I look back and can see that the moment these guys had their feet on the ground at home, they were already feeling disconnected. As each soldier got his ride or headed out, the guys looked sadder and more distant.

The first buddy I told you about, who lost his brother, ended up getting engaged and had his bachelor party in our hometown. We all got loaded up at his parents' house and were about to head out, when like a bolt from the blue one of our high school friends that no one had heard from in years shows up at the door. Turns out, it was HIS first day back from Iraq and he saw all the cars parked by the house and dropped by to see what was going on. It was tough on my soon to be married buddy and his family as their brother was never far from their minds, but after a few beers and stories about the old days everyone settled back into the celebration and we took our newly returned friend out for the night's festivities. We all desperately wanted to make him feel at home.

The homecoming soldier tried to keep his # together but was visibly showing signs of PTSD all night. I tried to stay near him and keep him upbeat, but the general tone of his comments kept veering towards violent contempt for strangers around us. We ended up having an argument with the bus driver on the way home, and it ended in a fight between the soldier and the driver. I was horrified at the thought of our friend going to jail on his first day back, and ended up taking two stray punches to the face when I tried to break up the fight. Fortunately we live in a small town and we knew the cops who showed up so they were able to convince the driver not to press charges on account of it being a soldier's first day back....a quickly gathered collection fund from the bachelor party helped ease his bruises as well.

There was no doubt in my mind that our soldier would have killed that driver that night if we hadn't coralled him. He went to a very dark place.

I think there are a lot of different reasons that people agree to go to war, but from what I have seen and heard, there is one reason why they keep fighting once they are there. Nobody wants to let his brother down.
I imagine that the shock of being split from your brothers and coming home as individuals after sharing that kind of brotherhood is as bad or worse than the separation of blood from blood.

There are a lot of different ways that civilians view these wars, but from what I have seen, those who have been touched by it all agree on one thing. None of us wants to let our brothers down. I haven't taken a life or experienced combat, but I am sick with guilt about what we have made you do for us....what we allow to happen to you on our behalf. I've seen the pain and loneliness in the eyes of my friends and peers when they get back. I wish I could have been by your side when you were off in hostile lands. I am wracked with grief and guilt and while I CAN'T share your experience I DO refuse to look away from it.

Many of us are paying attention and many of us do not want to let you down. This war defines this generation. You define this generation. We will not turn away from you; even when it looks like there is no place for you back in this Disneyland bull# where everyone seems to be asleep, know that many of us have been shocked awake after you have come home and, in that sense, you are never alone. More and more people in this country are becoming aware of what it means to come home after war and there is growing outrage at how the system almost dumps you at the side of the road and leaves you to your own devices.

I don't know if that helps you. I hope it does but how could I know? I am sure that when you reach out, a lot of people don't want to listen or just can't handle it. You grew up in this world back home, and you know most people here just want to stay curled up and cozy and don't want to worry about things, or be reminded of just how cold reality can be.

But not all of us are like that. Some of your friends and family, your fellow veterans, are ready and waiting for you to come home, and all it entails. Don't give up. We won't give up. You may have to do some searching but I guarantee you that there is someone out there who will not let you down.

Originally posted by nenothtu
reply to post by Immortalgemini527

 

Fair enough. I'll look after my own soul, and you can look after yours.

Have a nice Eternity.

You to my friend,but because the dark side has set a cloud over this topic, i chose to leave and never come back,but you have a good day,and may your god look over you.

yea lets go immortal,to many flags
yea ,the dark side of the force is all over,i can smell them.
yea ,lets go,it stinks full of flags,flags with no good reason,once upon a time,in a far away place,a man was deaply hurt, a man on a helicopter ,crying with shame,form the guilt at what he done,he spills his heart to god as he
THIS AINT...THE FREAKING LIFE TIME CHANNEL ! whats wrong with you? 'once upon a time'

even i woudnt of put a flag over a mans crying heart,but when you turn your back,i will.
yea yea cry me a river,who cares he loved shotting his gun and killing people,look' his soul is right here.telling me,they say he sold it for bush.

reply to post by nenothtu


Its sad bro, how quick people are to judge you, to tell you how you feel and what you are. Some people on this site amazes me. People can sit here and tell me what I am because of a name I used on here...I made MarineSniper12kills because that's who I was, that's what I did. I was proud of what I had done. I woke up when I realized I was losing my wife, my parents, and everyone who truelly cared about me. I wasn't the guy I used to be. I was turning to alcohol to make me feel better, I was abusive, and I shouldn't have been put into society the way I was. Im 26 years old. My wife was screaming, i put my fifteen round clip into my 40 caliber, closed my eyes, slid the chamber back and pulled the trigger. I still don't know why the gun didn't discharge but it didn't. I guess it wasn't my time. My wife is going to have to have that picture in her mind for the rest of her life. My problems didn't only affect me, they impacted my family. I still right now don't feel like I have a place in society. I have nobody I can relate to until I met some great people on here.
You don't have to be against the war or for the war, there is an inbetween. I still love my country, we are one of the best. Different people have different views. My brothers may be lost in some ways, but who isn't. I am here if anyone ever needs someone to talk to. If anyone ever feels down or depressed I want you to talk to me. I know how you feel and I care about you. Everyone on here is special, and some people on here are struggling to find a purpose or find reasoning. Im here if you need me. I wont be on marinesniper anymore, this is me. I love my family and I love you.

Neno....look forward to grabbin a burger with you this week.
-Justin

reply to post by xX aFTeRm4Th Xx


I did try to search for this before I posted it. I did not see it anywhere, perhaps you could provide a link? No, I am not after stars and flags, they are irrelevant, I have only shared what I came across. Shame on you, for assuming that I, or anyone, is after some kind of cyber glory. It just shows your own insecurities.

reply to post by backinblack


thanks for sticking up for me while i wasn't around

reply to post by Ghandi


I thank you for posting this. It gives insight on what alot of people misinterpret in others emotions and feelings. People need to know.

reply to post by triplesod


Don't remember mentioning that he served in Iraq.. Also, considering he is an American soldier, unless he fought somewhere in mexico or canada, he would be fighting "over seas"

c'mon "mate" you can do better then that

reply to post by MarineSniper12Kills[/

 

I feel your pain and your recovery is still raw. My ex was a vet in the Gulf War in 1991 and only now is he managing to keep it together. I feel for your wife as well as the spouse/partner goes through a PTSD type experience as well as you deal with someone who is unpredictable.
I have flashbacks to a time when he just stood up in the living room, deciding that me and my daughter were the enemy and ran into the kitchen to get a knife to kill us.
I grabbed her and headed for the garage, to the car, to get away. He followed and by chance I hid in a corner with her and managed to shut him in as he looked for the enemy and called the police.
He spent years in hospital, therapy, talking to other vets. In the UK we the family got support as well as the counsellors knew we lived this with them and it was frightening at times.
I just hope and pray your wife and family are getting this support?
I left him 4 years ago as he was on the mend but the trauma affected my daughter and I too much to carry on as there were still 'episodes' that came out of the blue and destabilised me to the point I ran away with nothing, only our clothes, but managed to get a council house and went from there.
I thought that it would never stop and it was best to get my daughter out as she was seeing a psychiatrist by this point because she did not understand why her father hated her so much in her tiny mind.
This is the story not many hear about, of the partner/spouse who is living with it 24/7 and not knowing what will happen next?
Please do not see this negatively as my ex has came on since then but too much water had gone under the bridge for me.

Just read more of the threads and saw your new call sign Loverboy. keep that mantra going and show your love to your wife and family as they love you more than you will know?

edit on 12-2-2011 by kalenga because: (no reason given)