Fat or Phat What is OK

OK so we are chatting in the chat room, (dud eh) and the conversation has come up about people being fat. Would you date a fat person? What do you consider fat? Is overweight OK, but obese not? Is skinny truly better?? If you met a woman or man that was overweight but attractive none the less, say they were evenly proportioned would you date them??

With out the details please, would you be willing to love them?

Have you ever dated a overweight person? Do you consider yourself overweight? Do you judge the people you meet by how big they are?

What are your limits when it comes to this subject, and have you ever been addressed as shallow??? Can you tell what a person is about by looking at the outside, or do you dig deeper into their souls and minds?

I work in photo shop and I made this the other night. It's a photo of me, one has CG work and the other not. Would you date the girl on the left or right? Is the one on the left fat and ugly, or is the one on the right thinner and prettier? Oh and this is a photo of me, and I am not telling you which is me..haha...



Lots of questions.. looking forward to answers...
But as I was making it I couldn't help and think an awful lot of things.

THIS IS MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now listen here, I for one will be honest unlike a majority of the posts that will follow this one.

I am opposed to DATING fat/obese women or whatever “euphemism” you would like to insert there. I do not and I repeat do not have anything against fat women other then the fact that I would never date them, keep this in mind. I have fat friends that just happen to be female; they are nice and kind people. I wouldn’t even sleep with one if one were to throw herself at me (god forbid I’d like to live a while longer) or even under the influence. It’s simply no…no…no…
Now sure, you can go ahead and call me any name you’d like but hey does it matter to me? No.

If you’re 9+ don’t even bother ladies.


Best Regards,
Richie

It's down to what you personally find attractive surely. Some people find bigger bodies more attractive than slim bodies. Some people find black skin more attractive than white skin,some people find nerdy people more attractive .....and so on and so forth.

But to say that you definatly wouldn't date someone who is fat is a bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face. You never know,that person could have been your soul mate,but you let your fears and prejudices get in the way. We need to look deeper than physical form if we're to find true happyness.

Its in the Eye of the Beholder.


Im not a super skinny guy, i am a little overweight, not close to being Obease, but not at my high school weight of 180 anymore either...

Ive dated a women who coculd have been considered 'Overweight'.. but she just was built big... not necisarily fat... just tall and big.. like 5'10 and idk how much weight... but she also was a part time model...

But it depends on the person... and the basic truth is, about 70% of our nation, it wouldnt kill them to lose 10-15 lbs... its more healthy... but there are the people who are abnormaly thin... the people with the eating disorders...

So.... whats the summary...

If you can see her ribs, she is probaly too skinny...
If she has jelly rolls, probaly to fat....


But that vast majority of people are right there in the middle...

Seaman Ritchie doesn't know what he's missing. In my experience, women who are not concerned with "fitting in" to the requirements of the 'status quo' are much more fun to be around.

I have a theory that so-called "overweight" people are wired to be more sensual than others. To them, the joys that life has to offer are more important than holding back just to please someone else's ideal of what looks good.

It's certainly just my opinion, but I'd much rather drink beer, have dinner, and roll around in the sack with someone who knows how to indulge than with someone who is afraid to eat because they think I won't like them if they get a "tummy".

That being said, I have an 'ideal' (her name is Mia Tyler, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler's other daughter) but I have been attracted to bigger (and smaller) women (even skinny ones). It really comes down to the whole package for me.

One thing I've noticed is that my male friends, after spending any amount of time with me and my girlfriends, almost always end up dating chubby chicks.

Mia:

If you look like her feel free to U2U me

My personal opinion is that Mia Tyler has a perfect body! It has been proven that being skinny is not necessarily healthy, but a larger person that keeps fit is in the best health of all.

What turns me off is a persons attitude about their weight. If they're always driving and eating or eating before they go to sleep than they simply have a low self-esteem and don't care about there well being.

The same can be said by a thin person that obsesses over not eating. I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend that looked like Mia. Here hair like that does it for me!

Wooo Hoooo!

When I look at this thread, I think short term and long term. Physical and emotional. Physical beauty is the landscape along a river. The emotional is the water that flows. Sure the landscape can direct the flow, however the water breaks the sides down and transforms the edges.

Does one want to feed the short term earthly appetite, risking internal erosion?

Or

Does one want to support a long term watery ever growing flow?





[edit on 7/15/2008 by eye open doors]

big girls need love to. but they NEVER have and NEVER will get it from me.

[edit on 15-7-2008 by LordInfamous]

As I have mentioned many times on this board, I am fat. Also, before I had my daughter, I was skinny but I have always been big boned. Even when I was 120 pounds, I couldn't get below a size 10 and at that skinny, I had people calling me anorexic and telling me to go eat a cheeseburger.

Which is why I think Richies size 9 and below comment is funny. Fat or not, bone structure is different and whether fat or skinny, big hips equals bigger size.

But I have no problem with people who aren't attracted to fat people. That is a personal choice and everyone is attracted to different things. What I have a problem with is when people go beyond "not dating" fat people into making fun of and critisizing every fat person they see.

I also, as a fat girl, can't stand chubby chasers. I have came accross many of them and it seems that most of them only care about the fact that I am big and after a date or two, I realize they care nothing about my personality or who I am inside, they are just wanting to get me in the sack because they are into big girls. It's just like guys who are into model-like chicks only, they seem to only care about her body and then get mad when she turns out to be a total witch.

But I will tell you this. Everytime I personally have thought I wasn't attracted to a certain type of person, someone who fit that type of person has came my way and I found myself totally attracted to them. I feel that if you are limiting yourself to a certain "type" you are really limiting yourself and you are missing out on many things.

But I do not find it offensive to not date fat chicks.

[edit on 15-7-2008 by snowflake_obsidian]

Having dealt with this subject for most of my adult life I would have to say that as a person matures, physical attributes become much less important than their psychological and emotional makeup. Now that I'm in midlife I can see just how much time/energy/emotion is wasted on trying to conform to what this world tells you that you "should" look like. This has messed up so many young girls for life, unnecessarily so. If I could take back some of my years I would know not to worry about such shallow things as appearance, just for the sake of trying to fit in to impossible standards.

My standards are so high its unbelievable. Your not attractive to me and frankly i would not date either picture. But that is nothing personal, i know girls that people would kill to be with, and i don't think there hot enough or nice enough. My standards are soooo high that i know i aint going to end up with anyone.

Fox

I have another question for guys who don't date fat girls. What if your skinny wife, after she has kids for some reason can't lose her baby fat. Are you seriously going to dump her because she no longer fits your skinny requirement.

Same question to you chubby chasers out there. If your wife finally finds a solution that fits her to lose that weight and becomes skinny when you aren't attracted to skinny girls, are you going to leave her?

The OP, very awesome as always zaim... Does not pose the question to the women. So in the name of balance, I would like the women to share their feelings, thoughts, etc. on the subject of overweight men as well.

Originally posted by snowflake_obsidian
I have another question for guys who don't date fat girls. What if your skinny wife, after she has kids for some reason can't lose her baby fat.

i'm not gonna be having kids. so i wouldn't have this problem.

reply to post by eye open doors


I do apologize however I will admit that it is easier for me to pose the questions to men since I have had more experience with men in this issue because I am a woman who is attracted to men.

But for the sake of being fair, of course I would like women to answer those questions as well, regarding the men in our life.


Also again a question for men, you hear women say all the time that there is a lot of pressure on women to look good and be skinny. Do you as a man feel that pressure as well?

Originally posted by LordInfamous
i'm not gonna be having kids. so i wouldn't have this problem.

If you are sexually active, having kids can happen. But I understand what you are saying.

Originally posted by snowflake_obsidian
If you are sexually active, having kids can happen.

um..no i get your point though.

[edit on 15-7-2008 by LordInfamous]

I am a fan of petite women. I try to stay in peak physical condition whenever I can and I appreciate a girl who feels the same. I was a cheerleader in college, so I think that's why I dig smaller women. Haha, honestly, other than the face, my eyes typically look for a well toned core.

Having said that, I think its impossible to say what you would or wouldn't do in the many many scenarios life can throw at you. I wouldn't rule out ever dating a big girl, I just think its less likely.

If my wife kept baby weight? Well she had my baby, so that means she already has my eternal love. I would work with her to get back to where she wanted to be, but if it didn't happen I wouldn't stress over it.

If their face is cute, and they are'nt too fat, too muscular, or too skinny, I don't mind!

Big guys are good cuddlers, big being well proportioned with maybe an inch of fat over muscle, for cushion, maybe a lil more...lol!

...or they can just be the sweet big bear hug type friends, you know what I mean?

They have to have alot of confidence in themselves too, a lil humor is always good!

I stay away from the conceited types!

After being taken for ten years, and single now, it's not like I am trying to find anyone at the moment anyway, no telling what I will end up with!

I know I am not going just by looks this time around!

















[edit on 7/15/2008 by Givenmay]

As a man, I've never felt pressure to lose any weight. But I tend to avoid the kind of people who are concerned with such things. One thing I wouldn't do is date a girl, plump or thin, who was not comfortable about her body. The status quo wounds people in such a way, but there are plenty of people who don't subscribe to it, and are therefore impervious to that kind of psychological garbage.

Am I a "chubby chaser"? No. I only like women who are confident about their looks and personality. I've been in situations where I'm talking to a girl that I find physically attractive, and over the course of the conversation she's able to convince me that she's fat and ugly. Don't like yourself? I probably won't like you either then.