Fat or Phat What is OK

oops

double post








[edit on 7/15/2008 by eye open doors]

Originally posted by snowflake_obsidian
reply to post by eye open doors

 

Do you as a man feel that pressure as well?

Yes, frequently. It is my experience that most women would not give a first glance, let alone a second glance at an overweight male. Perhaps that is just my perception, however I do remember an Interview I saw of Eddie Murphy when he was filming the Klumps. He talked about how he went into public wearing the fat suit and women were totally different to him, and people were just rude in general.

The prince charming archetype weighs heavy in this modern age as well as the Roman Goddess image. I would also like to say that I have a feeling that biology and psychology have a hand in this. Perhaps, overweight people are perceived as weak,powerless, and unhealthy?

It is also my opinion that overweight people are the most stereotyped and discriminated people on this earth. Look at the movies, more so in the older ones. The "fat" guy was always a dimwit. There are examples that I choose not to list.

To be honest, there must be a attraction. For me that attraction is in how the woman holds themselves. I would rather the women be comfortable in their own skin, kind, and down to earth. Some women are beautiful on the outside, but on the inside they are gross. Obsessed with their image and how others perceive that image. Constantly looking for the new possession to fill up that illusionary void.

reply to post by eye open doors


Yes you are right, I remember the movie "Office Space" and how that one fat guy was portrayed. You know, the one that they faired but didn't tell him that he was fired. Also more recently there was the movie "Knocked Up" and how throughout the whole movie she was ashamed of the way he looked. However then at the end she realized that he was more than that.

Women are portrayed like that in movies as well.

I also agree that fat people are very generalized, stereotyped and face so much discrimination it's not even funny. The saddest thing is that I have talked to many people who practice the discrimination of fat people and they think it's ok and they don't see it the same as discrimination of other groups because they say that fat people choose to be that way or that fat people are lazy and greedy and what not.

There are many reasons why people are fat and don't lose weight. Some people do actually prefer to be a little big. Then there are genetic issues which I know many discriminators don't believe in and there are self-esteem issues.

I tried to explain emotional eating to a guy who said that people should moo at fat people so that they become conscientious of their weight, and he was not saying it to be funny. He was dead serious. So I tried to explain that with many fat people, emotions are a trigger to eat and that being mooed at would just make many fat people eat more. He said he didn't believe in emotional eating and I said "Well because you've never been there."

Food to many fat people is just like alcohol or meth or sex or any other thing that people normally use to medicate themselves when they are feeling bad.

I don't think it really matters to me. Of course, I suppose I would be considered overweight at 6ft3 and 260lbs. In my opinion, I would much rather have a intelligent and funny girl that thinks for herself. Oh wait, I do!

Really, some people need to see through outward appearance and get to know the person. I think this may be what's wrong with marriages these days.

-Will

Originally posted by snowflake_obsidian
I have another question for guys who don't date fat girls. What if your skinny wife, after she has kids for some reason can't lose her baby fat. Are you seriously going to dump her because she no longer fits your skinny requirement.

Same question to you chubby chasers out there. If your wife finally finds a solution that fits her to lose that weight and becomes skinny when you aren't attracted to skinny girls, are you going to leave her?

To answer your question I wouldn’t leave her but then again why would she get fat in the first place? The thing is to know what to put into your mouth and what not to. My mother who gave birth to me and my brother never “blew up” like most women do nowadays. I have always been taught to eat well and healthy and that is something I look for when searching for someone. This is why I usually pick up on girls at the gym or at the local club.

As for your comment about being big boned that’s another thing, I do not find women with large waists to be attractive perhaps I’m being a little bit harsh with the size 9 and below comment but to each his own right? I’m pretty sure you’d be a nice person to go to the pub with and be a great pal with but that’s about it, no harm done right?



Best Regards,

Richie

reply to post by Seaman_Richie


Women gain weight differently during pregnancy. Most of your thin women don't put on much weight to begin with during pregnancy and tend to lose it right away without much effort. With some women, pregnancy can completly destroy metabolism and a woman who could eat without consequence before she got pregnant has a whole new situation to adjust to afterwards.

The reason why some women have a harder time than others again is partially because of eating habits, more for some and partially due to genetics. All of our bodies and genetics are different.

I see a bunch of folks from chat last night on this thread......and I was in the room for this ongoing discussion of fat people.
I sure as heck am not a skinny minnie.
I have been raised in the USA however to believe thats the best 'look' and that I should strive for this look.
No matter how hard I try to not care about this pervasive belief system I am in it. I am not pleased with my own looks unless I have poking out hip bones....'sigh'

With dating men, I can not and will not date an OBESE man. My own sense of proportionality won't let me see that the 'obese look' is OK in any sense.
I have never minded chubby folks or even fat folks as long as it is in proportion and does not hinder the way the walk. Once a person gets into the fat realm of waddling I consider then totally un dateable.
Sadly I have a few family members that waddle, but they got married young before they got so heavy.

reply to post by LordInfamous


It's ok. You can wrap your arms around and slim girl and I'll let then big girls wrap theirs around me!

I'm 6' 1" 180lbs not to skinny just tall. At 40 my weight is rising fast and I need to exercise a lot more. I'm now experiencing the metabolism problem so many have.

I yern for the days when I would just fart and burn off a few hundred caleries!

Originally posted by MrMysticism
It's ok. You can wrap your arms around and slim girl and I'll let then big girls wrap theirs around me!

i'll do just that.

OK, first of all I have to *spank* eye_open_doors cause I did say male or female in the original post... bad bad boy eye-open doors... LOL

I have to sons... the oldest is 6'4" tall and weighs in at 155 soaking wet, his weight is in the normal range (go figure). My youngest son is 6'3" and weighs in at 260, he is considered overweight. But he isn't overweight, he has a lot of muscle. So what the heck eh?

When it comes to my opinion and I give it quite freely around here, I don't think weight matters to me at all. I have dated guys of all sizes and colors. Personality is very important, and you could actually look like Conan the Barbarian and be a goof, I am not having anything to do with you then. Actually I really don't like highly buffed guys at all. But that's me, give me a mountain man, with hair all over him and keep the nude baby's like Tom Cruise at home.

What I really REALLY cannot stand and I don't care if your big or small is someone who is not well kept. I think quite a few people get bigger and they stop taking care of themselves. The close look worse the hair gets shaggy... whatever. Just nasty. A clean person can be very attractive if they have the right personality to go with it. Dirty is dirty period.

As for eating healthy foods, you wanna tell that to the poorer folk who can't afford the stuff to make real macaroni and cheese and have to eat the dang processed crap. I believe this is one of the issues in America's health problem. They say eat healthy but not everyone can afford it. And who is motivated to do anything when the have to eat krap dinner??? Not me... I haven't ate a box of that stuff in years and years...

I have decided to attach a few videos that will make you think about what might be going on if that brain of yours.

When Jack Black decided to make "Shallow Hal", ( which I own by the way) I found it quite interesting. To me Jack Black is not the most attractive man, not enough to be self centered about anyways, and neither is Tony Robbins either, but they portray, what I believe to be the average human mind of most males (no offense guys really), that is men then to think they are much more handsome than they are. While women tend to think they are uglier than they are. Oh and I would date Jack Black but if he turned out to be a goof, well it would be over, don't care who he is.



I do not put these in here to make fun of anyone, I am trying to get everyone to see what we are all doing to the esteem of the world by the way we think.
Whats weird about the following video is I actually like the song, and it has become a great hit.


I said it before and I will say it again... extreme is not good in any direction... thin or fat, I think a person should just be who they are and keep themselves clean.

I am hoping that the following video doesn't get tossed by the mods. But I don't think that men in particular understand how devastating losing weight. It is a video about Anorexia and if you have a sensitivity to this topic you should probably not watch this one.


I myself have lived my whole entire life not accepting myself as I am. I still don't, I just accept what I can about myself. I will never be pretty enough, thin enough or smart enough. I know where I got these messages and still work on it today. The majority of my esteem has healed, but the ghost of Christmas past still haunts me.

Oh and one last note to whoever said the mooing like a cow thing. If you think something so stupid would work you are an idiot, honestly. Do you think that people that are over weight don't know they are? Come on, that's just a cop out for rudeness and insensitivity.

Seiously... WTF is wroung with that woman in the last video...


How can she be so stupid...

reply to post by Seaman_Richie


SIze 9 is NOT big! you like em anorexic eh?

Originally posted by raven bombshell
reply to post by Seaman_Richie

 

SIze 9 is NOT big! you like em anorexic eh?

Ignorance is bliss..................

For most of my life I've been attracted to tall thin men. All four of my husbands were over 6' tall and slim but strong.

After my last divorce I was celibate for 8 years and had a long time to think about the choices I had made in men.

Three years ago I met a man on a Internet dating site. We talked for almost a year before we met. He was 6'4" tall and 285 pounds. Not the size man I would normally date.

I fell in love with this man's mind and personality before I even saw a picture of him. We finally met and have been together for two years.

He's lost 40 pounds since he moved in with me. I would still love him even if he had not lost weight.

I think we are going to make it but if not I will not let a man's weight determine if I will date him.

My priorities have changed with age. I am more attracted to a man's mind. Now, intelligence turns me on more that a perfect body.

Don't misunderstand me, I still enjoy looking at a fine , well tuned man's body.

Oh heck, I must admit I just like all men.

TKO its not about she is stupid, it is an illness like any mental disorder. It can control your life like an addiction. Once ones view is distorted all you see is fat, whether it's there or not.

But the media plays a big part in this... how thin is thin enough?? Why do men really prefer women that are so thin?? What is the reflection on the man, really? Is it their ego's are so big they can't love someone that is bigger??

A lot of men like the Hollywood women. But lets say that you are a male that is 5'7" tall, K? And you find yourself attracted to a woman that is 5'11" and is a size 12, which would lets say equil and woman of 5'7" tall and size 8, then what??? This is just an example.

I want to make a comment about the pregnancy issue as well. Women gain weight during pregnancy, period. If they lose it great, if they don't oh well. I have seen many women emotionally abuse after they have a baby cause they gained weight. That is just pure selfishness. And as your hair falls out remember this statement, K? Or would you just go get hair transplants and pretend none of it is real?

One other thing.. to those of you who are somewhat shallow... What happens when something happens to you, say an accident and you gain weight? Your not able to exercize for some dang reason. I am talking to you directly... do you hate yourself for the rest of your life? Does your self worth die in those moments? Do you suddenly become not worth anything? Do you quit all the enjoyable foods, a beer after work, a peice of birthday cake on your birthday, because you can't work it off?

Just wondering??? I am not what I weigh, I am who I am regardless and I am lovable no matter what.

[edit on 16-7-2008 by Zaimless]

reply to post by Zaimless


I whole heartedly agree with your stance on being well kept. I have been preaching the same thing to people around me for years. I see all these fat women complaining that men aren't attracted to them and yet they seem to "give up" making themselves look nice because they are fat. I have actually attracted more men as I am now than I did when I was skinny because believe it or not, I have better self-esteem now than I did back then.

reply to post by snowflake_obsidian


As TK said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I tend to go for thicker girls than all my friends. I guess you can call me a "chubby chaser," but as many posters have pointed out... it's really the whole package.

Which is why I think Richies size 9 and below comment is funny. Fat or not, bone structure is different and whether fat or skinny, big hips equals bigger size.

It is funny and unrealistic in some cases. One of my ex-gf's was a size 16 and I thought she was the hottest woman on the planet. I shouldn't have let her go.

Her twin sister jogged almost every day and was pretty thin yet was a size 12 because of the "junk in the trunk."

In the end, go for whatever makes you happy.

Originally posted by dizziedame

Now, intelligence turns me on more that a perfect body.

Don't misunderstand me, I still enjoy looking at a fine , well tuned man's body.

Oh heck, I must admit I just like all men.

...thats what I was trying to say lol!

I like all kinds, just not the sloppy one's or rednecks!

Ive dated tubby guys and liked them very much. I have known other ladies who had no issues with thier men being overweight. It is my opinion that women are less likely to date based solely on looks. This is from experience, no statistical data. I know that everyone doesnt think that. And for the record, Im not fat myself- at least I dont think so (5'7" 135lb), but that is subjective.

Originally posted by Seaman_Richie

Originally posted by raven bombshell
reply to post by Seaman_Richie

 

SIze 9 is NOT big! you like em anorexic eh?

Ignorance is bliss..................

What is that supposed to mean?
What u talkin bout Richi?



[edit on 16-7-2008 by raven bombshell]