Question for anybody who haven't gone through a probate after parents death

The question is.......what line would one of your siblings have to cross for you to try and leave that sibling nothing even though your sibling is has the right to equal amount of the assets as you? Also, there was not a will.

I'm going through probate right now and my 2 youngest siblings are trying to do this to me. Their reason is because of the way I've addressed them in the past.
In the past, word would get back to me that my brother was running his mouth about me, making up lies and trashing me. So I went straight to him and I was a total a-hole about it. Let him know if he ever has anything to say about me to grow a pair and come to me and say it. He tucked tail everytime and wouldn't deny it but wouldn't defend himself and then he would block my number and we wouldn't speak for months. I said plenty more.

Now my younger sister has 2 boys who are 3 and 4 years older than my son. At that time my son would constantly talk about his cousins qnd how he missed them and he just wanted to hang out with them in the worst way. At that point my son had only seen them on the bigger holidays and he just looked up to both of them. The oldest cousin started picking on my son, just saying really mean things and was a total deek. That really hurt my son who was 7 and 8 when these incidents took place. I mentioned to my mom what happened and asked her to tell my sister so she could deal with it. It wasn't much longer and her kid started to be really mean over Xbox when my son tried to join his group or party, they both had headphones on, I heard my son pleading with his cousin so I listened in. What I heard upset me and again hurt my son. He asked me why his cousins are mad and he started thinking he did something. This time I messaged my sister and told her about it and asked if she dealt with it after the first time this happened and I was a little snippy about it. 6 months later, my son saw both cousins at the pool, this time both cousins were ganging up on him and he was scared this time and he tried to get conversation going so he tried talking about hunting and how he has a bb gun at home he can't wait to hunt with. It's q legit Red Ryder begun Santa gave him. This time I called my sister cuz I was irate. No answer so I texted her and I went off on her, took shots at the kind of mother and father they are to ignore the fact that her kids are bullying my son, I got my point across, I'll say that. She messaged me back and started to blame my sin for what happened and tried to say my son told her kids he was going to shoot them with his bb gun. My son is honest, I trust him and I know he didn't threaten to shoot them even though I may have understood if he did cuz 2 much larger n older boys were bullying him. My son is so nice and a total sweetie but I have seen my boy take both of her kids down just playing around wrestling one day. My son is big strong dude too.

These are the reasons my siblings have colluded to try and take the things my parents wanted me to have. A year ago my parents came to me with their will and let me know I'm power of attorney over EVERYTHING when they're gone. I saw the will, saw what they wanted us kids to get, I wasn't real surprised cuz we all kind of knew. They told me my name is NOT TO BE CHANGED no matter what! My dad said That's right and agreed. My father's quality to speak was limited the last cpl yrs of his life. So he did say all he had to do is drop the will off and sign it at the lawyers office and said he will do it Thursday when he goes to get water. They also told me to keep this information to myself and do not say anything to the others. I didn't really think about it but little did I know, 5 and a half months later my parents would be hospitalized cuz of covid and in November 2021 they died 17 days apart.
I want to add that I was the only sibling who was taking care of them and doing things like drive them to Dr appointments, pick up meds. Cook for them, blow snow, mow yard, anything that was hard for them I took care of. I also spent alot of time just enjoying my parents because I knew one day they'd be gone. Then just like that. My other siblings WOULD NEVER go visit and when they did it was for 2 minutes, they wouldn't even sit down. They ignored my mom when she tried talking to them on messenger because she was hard of hearing texting was easier for her. But they would reply q day or two later, they didn't call, my siblings did not give a you know what about them. They never really go out of their way to see me either and we all live in the same area.

So my mom was hospitalized first, then my dad was like 8 days after her. Me and my mom showed covid symptoms the same day so I wasn't able to go to their house, my mom tried to hide the fact that she wasn't feeling well, I felt crappy and she was worried about me. But my siblings waited for a week before my bro just happened to stop there and mom was in bed and her body hurt, she didn't feel well. So my brother immediately called an ambulance. I was worried for her but my sister didn't feel like she needed to be around so she went out of town 3 hours away to a wine tasting festival all weekend. My dad was home alone and he was falling almost everyday, like fall all the way across a room into the couch. Sometimes he couldn't get up by himself. So I got on my sisters case about not being there to help. I was still in quarantine and my brother, he groaned and made excuses why he couldn't be with dad throughout the night and take care of him until I'm done in quarantine. He stayed one night, left the next morning, go back see if he's OK, leave. This went on until I could go there. My sister was on her last day having fun n I had her on the phone again giving her hell. I was on my way to my dad's and she said, "You know what? Soon you aren't going to have "poop" and what she meant was I wasn't going to get any inheritance. I said "How do you figure? I'm power of attorney over EVERYTHING." and she said "That wouldn't be hard to change." I then hung up. I got to my dad's and complained to my bro about our sister and told him what she said. He started having an attitude with me and groaning about having to take care of our dad and was just a d**k. So right there I said something about how he should actually care about the family and I ended up telling him mom n dad made me power of attorney over everything. His face turned red and he got real made came at me and pushed me and pinned me against the wall in front of our dad. He left bruises. But he stormed out and left me to watch my dad for the next week. I could not be there constantly but I was popping in every few hours, my sister stopped a cpl times. Found him laying in the basement on the floor not able to get up. The next day I found him in his room struggling to get up. He fell alot but he had no real medical issues and we didn't think covid would take him out. My sister showed up one morning at my dad's before I got there, with her husband. The power of attorney was brought up I'm guessing and they found out our dad totally forgot to bring that will to the lawyer. She was there and would have pressured my dad to have the lawyer change my name even if my dad had dropped it off. But my sister got ahold of the will, not sure how it all went about but she got my dad to say that she was power of attorney but not over everything. After she did that she and her husband took him and dumped him at the hospital.......

Sounds like they plan to contest...get a lawyer yesterday. Sorry for your losses.

Both parents hospitalized I didn't bother arguing over this POA issue, but my brother and sister conspired the entire time preparing for our parents to die and plotting to screw me with my inheritance.
My father paid my brother mortgage from 2006 until he died. In 2012 my dad asked me if I wanted to move into the 2 bedroom he n my mom owned, a 2nd estate. I moved in and eventually he told me the house will be mine since he basically paid for my brother's. So the house I lived in was in the will coming to me as well as two classic cars, 1 which was promised to me the day me and my dad saw it and he went right to the guys door and made him an offer. I was 5 yrs old. The family all knew that would be my car one day. They threw in the other car cuz my siblings were actually inheriting more, even with that extra car.
Fast forward to probate taking place right now. My sister and brother are coming executors, I have been informed by their lawyer both estates will be sold. I am standing firm, I have a lawyer and I am hoping they won't end up doing this. They didnt even have me down as an heir. I contested their executor role and my idiot lawyer made a deal without my consent to agree not to contest them and they'll recognize me as an heir. I'm so irate.
There is alot more to all of this but you will find out how horrible siblings can be during probate.
I have true hatred swelling and building in me.
I don't think I deserve this over that stuff from the past. I can't even get into all of it.
I just want to know where your line would be for u to do this to your siblings.
Thanks

Thanks, man.. it's been hard few months. My parents never ever wanted they in control cuz they knew what they'd do to me and that's leave nothing to me. They're beyond greedy. I can drag it out and keep spending money and they've been clear they don't want thar, so I might have leverage to force them to leave my house alone and make sure I get that 56 Ford.

a reply to: Jason79

a reply to: MNnativeamer

Been there. Your family will stab you in the back sooner than your friends will.

Only hope I can give you is someone dies without a recorded will with the local County...the die "intestate".

Probate Court has to determine....so hopefully w that, you've got some hope for equality. Up to the judge.

If they mess w you, you have some recourse.

Sorry for your loss, God bless, good luck

a reply to: MNnativeamer

I have true hatred swelling and building in me.

Your story resonated with me more than you’d believe.
lets put it this way there was almost a family brawl at hospice as my father lay dying

My parent left every cent to me and made sure to do everything to ensure my siblings couldn’t do a thing about it. I was put on all their accounts as joint owner before they died. Their wills were written spelling out why nothing was being left to my siblings years prior. It was so ironclad…..but to top it off my parents told my siblings before they passed what they left.

Here’s the kicker, out of my siblings I didn’t need anything, but I was always there.
My siblings only showed up when they were dying. I spent so much of my own money helping my folks. I never
Expected anything in return.

My sister was pathetic, trying to sweet talk my mom at the end and guilt her about family health issues. When you don’t talk to your family for over a decade it’s hard to have sympathy. When my dad was literally dying she had the audacity to ask why he was in hospice..he was dying dummy! Dr’s and nurses literally told her that his body was shutting down.

After they passed she wrote a scathing post about my mom and myself. I laughed and didn’t respond, everyone in the entire family knew what was going on for years. You can lie to yourself but thats about it!

Money is nothing…
In the end I’ve cut one sibling totally out of my life. I also had great closure. My parents told me they were proud of me. The was literally not a thing more, physically, emotionally, financially I could have done for them. I am proud of myself for my strength at a time when everything was chaos around me. I don’t think my siblings share the same peace I have now.

Not going to comment on who is wrong or right in your situation.

However, I can say that I've experienced how a family can fall apart over finances when a loved one dies. It is really sad.

My mother was the caregiver for both my grandmothers. When the grandmothers died, in both cases, we had other family members trying to make claims. These are people who were no where to be found and didn't do sh!t when the grandparents were elderly and needed care. Yet, upon their death, here they come with their hands out.

I am not even talking about substantial estates. Maybe $50k at most between all assets (cars, bonds, etc). One shady thing a cousin did was convince my grandmother to change the beneficiary of a small life insurance policy. Keep in mind, my mother was the one who actually paying for the policy! So my mother is paying for a policy for my grandmother with my mother as the beneficiary so she'd have funds to cover the funeral. The cousin convinced my grandmother to put the cousin as the beneficiary! We didn't find out about it until after her death.

One of the life lessons I wished I had known was how important it is to have all your financial affairs in order before death when it comes to wills, insurance, probate, etc so there are no arguments or questions as to who is getting what.

a reply to: MNnativeamer

Not right now,but soon I will send you a PM.I know how you feel
and you really don't know the true nature of family members until
a lot of money is involved.

a reply to: Edumakated

I am not even talking about substantial estates. Maybe $50k

My MIL didn’t have much but that didn’t stop my SIL from digging in her purse HOURS after she pass.
This is the Same SIL that only lived five minutes away and couldn’t come over to help because she was also too “busy” but not busy enough to purse dig apparently!

a reply to: MNnativeamer

You can choose your friends but not your family !

My parents are still alive but I do not expect them to go much longer and since being raised by my grandparents have little to no feelings for them but I do not want anything from them just to see they are comfortable in life and if push came to shove I would look after them in a heart beat .

On a call to my mother earlier this week the subject of a thread here on ATS I asked her about her energy bills and was flabbergasted at what she was paying out , among other things I could well fix easily .

Years ago my sister talked my mother into signing over the house to her ,again no Biggie on my part it's only material possessions and cash and as long as mum is looked after I am fine , so I sent my half-sister a text telling her to up her game with things and offered to help look for better deals for what she has because I really do squeek when I walk being so tight ,any what abuse I got back including lots of swear words and all for asking can she send me her supplier and tariff .

My mother was telling me that she has not been out of the house for 2 years and my sis stays 2-3 minutes walk away ,has a fancy top of the range Audi car that is my mother's disability car which she pretends to be her work car ,again no skin of my shoulder but the local supermarket is a 2 minute drive away and she has not been there in over 2 years .I did care for my mother and do 60 hour weeks cutting the grass shopping etc etc but she can be a difficult woman with mood swings and my sister does sleepovers at her social service job .

Funny thing is when I meantioned that I was going to apply for a disability car to take my mother out ALL hell started ? And they really got scared when I meantioned in the text that I have the letter than mother wrote to sister about who she was moody bitch with her and her daughter and it was due to her dementia .

I know for a fact that while my mother was in Australia years ago my sister applied and got credit cards and went loco with them - I know because I helped pay the debt off for her , to name a few things she has been bled dry by my sister and her boyfriend ,I I am pretty sure knowing the way sis spends money the house has been re-morgaged . Again no Biggie on my part I will see nothing out of it or expect to and I am pretty blunt when in phone conversations with both parents have stated to them I have buried the people who raised me when they always try and tell ORDER me to do something - they are control freaks,

If like me poster here you are the wrong person to start a war with ,I just hope that the property has good fire insurance on it and the mad funkie half sisters boyfriend who sent me the text about crawling back under a rock in a text the other night watches himself at his work because getting out of your face while zonked out watching for poachers can really be a dangerous job


Don't get mad get even lol

a reply to: MNnativeamer


Didn’t get a dime when my mom passed.

Some jerk stole her debit card also. Either brother or ex-sil is what we expected. Multiple family members called each other upset with brother.

No will, some papers went missing. Ironically, not even that much to inherit. Just some trash property.

Not the first time my brother did us wrong.

I knew who he was when we played monopoly as kids. If my sister and I went to the bathroom, we’d come back to the whole bank being emptied and under his side of the board. When we would call him out on it; he’d flip the board over and say I quit.

I still Love him! It’s just who he is!


I’m sorry for your loss!

a reply to: MNnativeamer

Yes, I have experience with these situations.

Get a competent attorney and know that’s going to be expensive - and don’t skimp.

a reply to: mysterioustranger

I'm going to call their lawyer Monday and speak with him. I'm going to suggest my siblings sign an agreement that distribution of assets will be equal share. If they do agree and sign it in front of the lawyers I'd feel alot better. They truly are out to screw me though so I doubt they'll even consider it. Jan 17 I was arrested inside of a hockey arena at my kids practice for DUI. Kids don't want to go with her so she took off from my place in her vehicle. As she left a friend stopped to say hello and right away I asked if he could drive my truck to the arena so my son could catch practice. He did, his chic followed in his truck. Kids mother called the cops to tattle on me but since we had no court order for parental custody they couldn't do anything. She told them I was drinking and now my truck was gone. She knew where we went so Cops come out there harassing me investigating whether I drove or not. I told them no I didn't and someone drove me. I would not give the person's name cuz it was none of their business so I was arrested and had 4 charges. This story relates to the probate and I'm getting there. So I was talking with my older sister about the DWI and I didn't give friends name cuz I think his driver's rights had issues and he hates cops so I didn't give him up. I asked my sister if she would vouch for me saying I actively get rides and if her daughter would to. Because they really did give me rides cuz my DL was suspended. My lawyer to me to ayleast get that if I wouldn't get my driver to witness. My sister said, "No we don't want to get involved." 3 weeks ago my lawyer emails me with a police report because my niece called the cops and told them I was trying to get them to lie for me and cover my butt and my sister told her that I admitted to driving and just lied for no damn reason. My sister told them she has given me rides but not that night. I Never told her I drove. Ok, so why the hell would they do that? The 2 siblings I'm in the inheritance dispute told her to call the cops and say I admitted driving. They want me to go to jail so they can clean out my house and take it over and my sister in probate, her husband is wanting to buy it then try and make me pay them rent. Lolllllllll
They are degenerates.
Check this one out.
I was driving a car my dad had bought from this sister, I end up locking the keys in the car. This was before Xmas. I messaged my other sister told her I could use a ride to get a slim Jim. I was gone an hour because someone else drove me, I get back to the car and the keys were no longer in the ignition and I knew my sister ratted me out again. I find out my sister who sold the car to my dad never gave him the title. I had all of my kids Santa gifts in bags in the trunk. I messaged all of my siblings for a week telling them I NEED THEM cuz it's almost Xmas. The 23rd I finally get a reply from my brother. "I looked everywhere in that car and I didn't see and bags or gifts. I never got them. The crap they've been pulling on me is constant. I could sit here typing all night.

As for my niece, she had no idea that I knew she was a thief and stole from Walmart, hyvee, aldis for the last 5 yrs atleast because that was when my mom told me about it. So I set up an appointment at Walmart with loss prevention qnd I helped identify her and her accessory to it, her mother. They sent hyvee and aldis some good still shots of both my sister and niece. All of them are going to review past footage and Walmart told me they basically have facial recognition for things just like this. It's been a week.....when I told me niece and sister I was so satisfied how they reacted and how they know they effed up by calling the cops on me. 😅😅😅

a reply to: JAGStorm

That's crappy when kids treat parents like they're of no use anymore. Time spent with elderly parents or lack there of should matter when intestancy is the case. If you live 5 miles from mom and dad but you Never do anything to help as they get older or just don't spend time with them, then you don't deserve much. My siblings pretended to care when they thought they might die. It angered me quite q bit.

a reply to: mamabeth
It's strange people can get like this. I have no clue what sort of feeling they get when they know they are being greedy. The feeling you get from doing it proper and knowing everybody is happy is much more enjoyable I'd bet.

a reply to: mamabeth

Ok I'll look forward to the PM

a reply to: stonerwilliam
Your sister sounds like the same person in alot of people's stories I've heard recently.
If they get the best of me I will have some pretty bad thoughts about getting even. Lol I usually acquire leverage. My bro knows that I have his friend unknowingly on voice recorded casually telling me the time he paid for a prostitute to bang my bro while he was married to his current wife. She is also an illegal. I think in the end I will let her hear the story. She deserves to know. He does nothing while she works very hard. Lol she such an awesome person I don't think I could do that to her. She is the pastor qt the Hispanic church. While him and my other sister were trying to figure out who could lead the service for our parents did funeral I glared at my brother and said, "Do you seriously have to figure this out?" "Huh?" He said then I said "I'd be grateful if your wife lead mom and dad's funeral." So she did but he felt burnt when I Saud his wife should lead.

This venting is making me feel a Lil better.