Afraid to be who I am. Becoming atheist or whatever.

So this is probably the worst place to try and open up because of my previous experiences with rude people but here we go anyway.

I am in a serious delima with my religious leanings. I was raised Christian but with my military experiences, world travels, and personal studies I have become a closet atheist. It makes me very depressed most times that I can't be myself and have to continue to pretend I am Christian to exist in society. I keep thinking that when I get to a certain point in my life it will all be ok and I can tell people how I really feel. However that seems to never happen, there is always a reason I can't tell anyone.

And now I'm not sure the point of the post. Validation? Advice? Acceptance?

I have been looking at several non-religion religions (if that makes sense) lately. So there is that also.

Perhaps I am just lost in it all. Well, there it is. If you have something helpful please say it, if it is rude please keep it to yourself.

a reply to: TexasSeabee

What is a non religion religion? Pastafarianism? Being serious though. I was raised in a cult and unprepared for life in the real world. Someone took advantage of me and it was a really horrible experience that made me see what a psychopath was and question whether God is real. I am still on the fence about that. I can't even imagine seeing actual warfare and people dying for nothing. It must make you question a lot. No advice, just listen to your intuition. If people cut you off because you express your true feelings, that is not your fault.

a reply to: Chalcedony

Maybe bingo bongo from The Congo is the big boss after all?

Nah……………😎

a reply to: TexasSeabee

I don't get why you would have to pretend to be something you're not?

Religious family and friends maybe?

I know in some circles those that go against the grain are cast out... happened to me about 6 years ago

I was raised with no religion, only to respect Papatūānuku, gaia, mother earth what ever you want to call our planet. I actually believe a lot of religions end up causing hate and persecution of others. My advice is love yourself, love others and do unto others as you would expect them to you. Be kind caring and understanding. My husband was raised Muslim, but considers himself a part time Muslim. He does not push any of his religion onto me or our children.
I also believe in life beyond earth.
Kia kaha *stand tall and strong*

originally posted by: Akragon
a reply to: TexasSeabee

I don't get why you would have to pretend to be something you're not?

Religious family and friends maybe?

I know in some circles those that go against the grain are cast out... happened to me about 6 years ago

Going by their name they are from texas. Texas is a bit backwards thinking when it comes to religion or rather not being religious.

Move to a more free thinking state would be my advice, but then of course you lose close contact with friends and family. Tough choice.

Just be yourself bro. If people don't accept who you are then that's on them. I was raised Catholic but I disavowed that pretty quick. I believe in the true teachings of Christ (not the king james bible bs) but I am not a christian. I believe in teachings of Buddha and other teachings as well like native American stuff. I am more.spiritual then religious by far. Just because you are an atheist doesn't mean you are a bad person or doing something wrong. I know a few.atheists who are awesome down to earth people. Sometimes in our learning experience we have to come to an acceptance of who we are and drop what things don't serve us anymore, and people can either accept or reject that but that part isn't on you.
Believing in god or not should not be a tape measure on if you are a good person, in my experience the people who are least accepting of you are usually hypocrites or assholes.

a reply to: TexasSeabee

I could be wrong, but this sounds more like you're afraid to open up about who you are and it really doesn't have much to do with religion. Are you trying to find a religion that revolves around your lifestyle instead of the other way around?

If this was truly about religion, you could just avoid the topic altogether and most people would never really know. Why the need to talk about it?

a reply to: TexasSeabee

I was raised Catholic and that turned me off to religion in general. But I still believe in God. I just don't think I need anyone speaking to him on my behalf. But for your sanity, be yourself. Believe what you believe. Not knowing is also just fine.
Your relationship or lack thereof with God is your decision, and yours alone. Don't stress over it.

a reply to: TexasSeabee

It's a little hard to say anything when you lack any detail or explanation in your OP.

We can't tell what exactly caused you to fall away, and we can't tell you what you really are/might be because you only complain. You don't tell us anything about what you really think, feel, believe.

You tell us plenty about us though.

originally posted by: Deetermined
a reply to: TexasSeabee

I could be wrong, but this sounds more like you're afraid to open up about who you are and it really doesn't have much to do with religion. Are you trying to find a religion that revolves around your lifestyle instead of the other way around?

If this was truly about religion, you could just avoid the topic altogether and most people would never really know. Why the need to talk about it?

I am an unchurched Christian because the people who tend to gravitate toward many of my beliefs about the faith also tend to be a touch too literal on things. Being a geek the way I am, they would want to mark me as a witch for enjoying the rich mental world of what ifs, but part of that exercise into fantasy and sci-fi is that it helps me gain a deeper understanding and appreciation for my faith. I can figure out why such worlds don't exist and wouldn't really work.

The folks who don't think as much as I do wouldn't see it that way though. So I let them gather together and be happy, and I study along with them from afar.

a reply to: TexasSeabee

Long time atheist here. I've found since the time I secretly didn't believe as a child and was forced to go to church and youth groups, until I was a teenager and said I was "an atheist", to now, I've really mellowed out.

As a teenager and in my early 20's, I felt really jilted that I lost all those years of living as myself, so I really raged against the machine, but I also took in any religion classes I could, because the sociology of religion in different cultures is so interesting. Over time, it really helped me understand more why people are religious, and I just kind of stopped caring about other people's religions.

I'm still a non-believer, I try not to talk about religion with religious family members, and religious comments just go in one ear and out the other.

When I had kids, there was a bit of pushback to baptize, and send them to church events for school, but I just ignored it and people stopped bringing it up.

I'm privileged to live in a part of the world where no one but family cares what you believe in, and I'm guessing that's not the same for you, so I wish you all the best trying to get through this. I would suggest looking up atheist groups in your area, but don't fall into the trap of atheism as a religion, and the weird ego cult that surrounds it. You do you, and let others do their thing.

a reply to: TexasSeabee
You live in a world that is overwhelmingly religious. Most people have no comprehension what an atheist is. All they have are preconceived notions. In their mind an atheist is evil incarnate because that's what they've been taught, and anything that is not what they believe is abominable.

Welcome to the reality of being an unbeliever in this world. Learn to live with it, because it's not changing any time soon. Unbelievers are pariahs on this planet. You have two choices. Either own who you are, or stay in the closet. Either one is a big decision and will impact your life differently.

a reply to: TexasSeabee

So, you don’t think it’s rude to pretend your christianity?
So many people pretend their christianity today it has turned christianity into what it has become
Please, do find something that is more suitable.
It’s not easy and it’s not a charade, if it’s not for you, please don’t pretend

Glad to meet you TexasSeabee.....welcome to the club.....I too do not believe in a God. To much that's say's it just a story, a fairy tale just like Santa & Easter Bunny....I myself have thick skin and the fact I lost friends because of what I believe....don't say much about me but it speaks volumes for those folks. Be true to YOU. Be true to one's on self....you will be better off for it...Good Luck and remember, if a friend wants to sh$t can your friendship because of your decision or questioning it....they really aren't your friends.

a reply to: TexasSeabee
I'm not sure the need to pretend to be Christian. In fact religion isnt really brought up. I'm not sure if its different where you are at. Is it your family your keeping the front up for? Just embrace it, gods, god or God or not the world is f***ed anyhow, they/him/her left is a long time ago. But I'm presently pretty bitter.

a reply to: TexasSeabee

I feel this. While I am not on a path where I cease to believe, my beliefs are undergoing a seismic shift. It is a bit destabilizing, but the way I have dealt with this in the past and I am trying to go about it now is as follows:
I am seeking truth. If that is REALLY what I want, then I shouldn't shy away from learning that which upsets my current system that I am part of.

Change makes people uncomfortable. Not just our self, but those around us. This seems to be even true when one changes to better them self of become more authentic. It upsets the familiar.

What is to be done? I think by you being honest with yourself and honest with others (perhaps in limited ways, depending on how a full disclosure would impact your life- that is your call). But above all, DO NOT LIE. Telling falsehoods will never help you and will only create a mess, which you will have to deal with at some point. You don't have to come out of the "atheist closet", guns blazing. But if someone asks you a direct question that you are not comfortable with answering, tell them you are not interested in discussing that. You are under no obligation to discuss such a personal matter with anyone.

Good luck. I know these changes in perception can be heavy, but the growth that can result is SO worth it!

a reply to: TexasSeabee

Friend? Lost in it? It's "faith" speaking to you.....that it even matters.

And if it bothers you... consciously...then you do care.

Jesus is my Savior...but there are many paths.

You, are on yours. And that...should reassure you.

I always say...can you pick up dirt n twigs, blood, feathers, eyes and make it a bird and watch it fly away?

God can. And does.

God bless👍

a reply to: TexasSeabee

Lots of people, even priests and others who have dedicated their life to spiritual matters experience "a crisis in faith", when our trust points seem to have been violated. It's okay to admit that, even to the most blindly faithful folks in your sphere. They'll understand, and probably say they'll pray for you.

You're not alone, you're just brave enough to confront it, rather than pretending everything is ok.

It's okay to be honest about your emotional struggles with how it is and how it should be.

I suggest that you have a good conversation with yourself, and ask "What did I believe?", "What happened to shake that belief?", "What do you 'deserve' out of life?", and "Why do you think you 'deserve' it?"

What can you keep from your religious background and what should you reject. It's okay to be picky. You can accept part of a religious dogma and reject part of it. It's also okay to change your mind. Emotions are fluid, as is faith and the lack of it.

The important thing is to keep fighting the good fight, even if it looks like you're losing.