Why do beautiful woman date total jerks?

a reply to: Wide-Eyes

If somebody calls themself an alpha, they are a beta. Lol, hasnt that entite alpha thing been disproven though? Like even amongst wolves.

The whole thing came from one book some guy wrote apparently he even later recanted.

I will say that women mainly just like being challenged when it comes to courting. And if you are seeking a relationship, they like constant self improvement. Never stagnant.

Also, if you are in a relationship and your sex life is not good. Well, if 'she aint getting it at home she is getting it somewhere else.' Better believe that one. Women are often hound dogs just like Men sometimes even more so. IMO and from my experiences of course.

I also agree dating is pretty much dead anymore. Lots of people simply have friends they hook up with and friends that they dont like another poster said.

If all else fails, try to get back in touch with some old female friends from high school or college or whatever. Works more often than not unless your a total wierdo.

Sure are a lot of guys bragging about how much pu$$y they're getting in this thread. Sounds a lot like high school.

a reply to: Wide-Eyes

Yes, but Alpha isn't inherently a bad guy. I was speaking more about the "player", "thug" types. Movies/Media and rap culture have sexualized these personality types.

I have worked with many Alpha males that were good guys.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
Best advice I can offer...
NEVER...under ANY circumstances...let any woman you would like to date...see this OP.

Too late, I took out a full page ad and posted it in Welding Productivity magazine.

Yeah...I sent one in to SOLDER OF FORTUNE magazine.

Judging by the tone of your post, you're what? Early to mid twenties? Not many partners under the belt? Hiding the fact that you just wanna get laid under the guise of wanting a relationship?

Advice #1
Don't feel sorry for yourself. Top notch ladies don't dig that. Confidence is magnets to the XX, if you build it, they will come. Love yourself.

Advice #2
It's okay if you want to just get laid but don't paint yourself a saint by saying I want a relationship, when you're really saying, I want to fxxx. Women are masters of finding out ulterior motives. Nice guys try too hard, make yourself less accessible. We all want the things we can't have even more.

Advice #3
"Beautiful women." Learn to walk before you can run. Stop looking at them as beautiful women, think of all women just as people, for the most part. Talk to the less attractive ones. That way you have nothing to lose and can improve your talking skills and confidence without taking a blow to your ego. Look at every lady as an opportunity to get better with conversation, then when that 5 star fantasy comes along she'll be impressed by a) how you're not intimidated by her and b) how comfortable and skilled you are at holding what the ladies' dating profiles call, "an intelligent conversation."

It gets better with age, man. We've all been there.

a reply to: JourneymanWelder

Back in the day I was considered to be pretty "hot", though hubs says I'm still rockin' it even at my age! And I'll tell you something: I always went for the quiet guys that I had to draw out of their shell a little. They have always been the smartest, funniest and nicest guys in my opinion (and almost always turn out to be the most skilled in the bedroom ). The whole "macho man" thing has always been a turn off for me personally.

In my experience women are looking for a confident man, in control of his life. A man that can do things, Handle himself. Drive a stick, ride a motorcycle, sail a boat, change a tire. Add a little cash, a little flash and a hint of mystery. She will drag your ass to the bedroom. Oh, it help to dress nice, wash behind your ears, and smell good.
The key is....
Confidence
Confidence
Confidence

One word...

CINNAMON!!!

I used to wonder this quite a bit as well.

I do think its an interesting question and that its not so much about why women are not dating you, I see it more as a question of why do some people get into toxic relationships when they could do so much better is a better way of phasing the question. Case in point, I have a good friend, she honestly could have been a model but instead wanted to purse a career in medicine, really nice girl, dated a total pig who cheated on her multiple times and treated her like crap until he got her pregnant then he left her for a younger woman after putting her through 3 or 4 year of marriage hell. I often wonder why she stuck with him for so long.

Now I am sure that there is probably some really interesting answer to that which a psychologist could give, for me personally I actually think that for some people a dramatic and down right toxic relationship is attractive to them. Now for those of us who avoid that kind of crap thats pretty difficult to understand, I also think we tend to notice it a lot more than most girls (and guys) who just have normal functional relationships.

a reply to: JourneymanWelder

I know exactly why.

This is going to sound too simple, but it really is the reason.

Those jerks will talk to them! Seriously, there are so many "nice" guys that are just too scared to talk to girls.

Also, if you have loads of $$$$ beautiful girls will date "nice" guys too.

a reply to: JourneymanWelder

Why? you cant change the player. you cant fix him and make him a good boy.

My wife did .
Long ago in a galaxy far , far away......

a reply to: JourneymanWelder

Do not worry too much as you are just at the start.

Wait till you meet the one who blows you away but turns out to be a narcassist, I really do hope its not the worst kind either (19 years of my life on this part...12 in relationship... 7 still trying to escape). Then go for the older lady thinking you are more mature and get on with people older than you (You are mature or so you keep telling yourself, right?)

Then find your whole world collapsing around you, lose everything again, becoming sour and hateful before turning into a total jerk just like the guys you described!

But wait! There is hope for you! You have a mind of your own, don't worry as you got this you really can do it on your own without help!! (sarastic)

Only then will you meet the love of your life. Only then do you realise, the truth, it's you that's the jerk and in time the whole experience leads to becoming the best version of yourself. But, even more amazing, watching that other person become the other half that you were missing the whole time becoming their best!

Either that or you will spend your days on forums like this typing something along the lines of "Because women don't want to date a ******. " (removed quote from earlier member post)

Ready!?



Chin up and go for it!

Whats the worst that can happen? I mean, imagine this completely reversed, maybe that's for the next life?

originally posted by: JourneymanWelder
Im sorry I wont do it I wont become a total jerk just so I can have a girlfriend. Time and time again women will always date the bad boy over the nice guy that has his life together and actually has a career. Why? you cant change the player. you cant fix him and make him a good boy. And nothing needs changing on the nice guy... I just dont get it. I guess Im doomed to be alone because Im too damn nice.

If they’re beautiful, they’re not often smart.

If you think you’re a nice guy, chances are you’re less self-aware and far more self-centered than you realize.

a reply to: JourneymanWelder

Well, the following advice is going to be waaaay too serious and sappy and TLDR for most of the happy readers, but maybe it will be right for you.

First, you said "girlfriend", not "mate", which says to me that you have several more pages to write. Think of dating and relationships as a book you write, a book that you may hope to have a co-author with someday. You MUST write those pages. They will not frickin' write themselves.

So, you have to go through the process, and somewhere along the line you will realize that you have to completely be yourself in order to find someone who is compatible, but unlike you. Don't go looking for love at events that you enjoy. The ONE will bring things to the US, just the same as you do.

So, you write a few chapters, and some of them will be fun, and others painful, and maybe even cut you so deep that you think you'll just peacefully bleed out.

And then, one day........... maybe a day just after you've sworn off (insert gender preference) for good, you bang into somebody out of the blue and maybe you won't hit it off right at first, but you'll find them frequently on your mind. Love works like that sometimes.

I wish this for you: I hope that someday you are celebrating your 30 year anniversary as my Darlin' and me are fixing to do this weekend. ...... and it seems like it has all happened so quickly and so purely.

And I can say quite honestly that I would not change a single thing, not a single bad time or painful moment or a single beating I took, or cuts, or any other injury or any adversity or pain or grief or madness of spirit ......... because all those things, all those human variables were me in training for her.

I wish that for you. Writers write. Writers write about what they know. Get f'n busy. Be your true self.

a reply to: gr8skott

If they’re beautiful, they’re not often smart.

And just like that we are back in 1973....

originally posted by: JourneymanWelder
Im sorry I wont do it I wont become a total jerk just so I can have a girlfriend. Time and time again women will always date the bad boy over the nice guy that has his life together and actually has a career. Why? you cant change the player. you cant fix him and make him a good boy. And nothing needs changing on the nice guy... I just dont get it. I guess Im doomed to be alone because Im too damn nice.

yeah, you sound real nice...

I distinctly remembered a thread—very similar to this one—made by some other beta male back in 2013, so I went and found it.

This is just something that's wired into our biology, and it can be observed in many other species too. Human males can usually be classified into two categories: alpha males and beta males. In primitive societies, the strong, aggressive alpha males impregnated the woman, and the woman would later go back to the beta male because he was the stable and calm provider who would help her look after the child if she was able to trick him into thinking it was his. This behavior can frequently be observed in primates. This doesn't happen as commonly as it used to, as we now live in civilized societies where monogamy is encouraged. But it's still wired into women to go for the aggressive alpha dude when she is at the peak of her SMV (sexual market value). Ever notice how women usually go through a phase of dating jerks in their 20s and end up in a long-term relationship with a quiet, docile guy once they hit their 30s? That's basically just the modern version of what I described above.

You might find this subreddit to be of assistance.

a reply to: argentus

Too sappy?

Nah that was beautiful and well put. Enjoy your anniversary

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuyJoin a chess club, world of warcraft whatever is not a transferrable skill to dating lol

Yeah it is if the girl plays as well. I sure do. I think you'd be very, very surprised at how many women of all types and personalities play WoW.

I find chess boring as all get out. Give me a gamer any day, heh.