It has happened. The unthinkable. The nightmare has begun.

a reply to: IAMTAT

Planarian? Didn't you mean Breatharian?

a reply to: Raxoxane

even better

Hey DBC, ya know, if it gets too tough a sure fire way to lose at least 100 pounds, if not more, is to file for divorce.

Hopefully you'll take the better route and just pushback from the table. We're here for you, despite the jokes and BigBurgh's epic food pics. I for one want you around just for lulz. Others, like AM, can't function without you. Do it for him, if not ur wife.

a reply to: TobyFlenderson

and get slaw instead of fries as a side.

like this?

www.youtube.com...

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Apparently. . . . my bride, the love of my life, the reason for my being, the Sun to my moon. . . .

Is putting me on a diet.

Let this thread be a chronicle of the horrors I must face, the herculean challenges I must confront.

The sordid wench wants me to actually live for more than just a few more years. She wants me to be old and put up with my children for decades!

FOR DECADES!

Is she mad? Is she totally insane?

Well, she is of the species, "Wimmin".

I knew I should have gone gay. Another guy wouldn't put me through the horror of a sensible diet.

Intake of an anti-parasitic daily combined with an alkaline body with regular excercise.....and you should not need a diet....you will shrink to your ideal body weight quickly as your body seeks and finds balance.

originally posted by: TheConstruKctionofLight

Ok..that guy freaks me out. I don't understand him. The First 3 minutes...just wow.

DBCowboy

Good luck with your new lifestyle!

blend57

I feel your pain brother!

I was with a vegan for 10 years, I think she may have started the gluten free trend even...

I was thinking about that while I ate a bacon cheese burger yesterday...

Good luck Cowboy

a reply to: blend57

Just Breathe

Thank you everyone for such kind words and advice.

Not going to say I'm fat, but for my last birthday I got Han Solo encased in carbonite.

a reply to: Bigburgh

Pittsburgh... the WORST place to be on a diet!

JT

originally posted by: kosmicjack
Others, like AM, can't function without you. Do it for him, if not ur wife.

She's right.

I would have to start insulting someone else and they would probably think that I was joking which would really upset me.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Thank you everyone for such kind words and advice.

Not going to say I'm fat, but for my last birthday I got Han Solo encased in carbonite.

I wish you much luck with the hard journey aheead and er...may the sauce be with you!

(PS Low-fat, sugar, gluten, lactose free sauce!)

As I continue my 2000 calorie diet of whatever the hell I want (mostly red meat and starch and soda) I will think of you. I will in fact eat this bacon cheeseburger, in your pre diet days memory.

Now, the decades left with your children? Ah well you got me there, we can all suffer together lol.


-Alee

Im on a Ketogenic diet and its 100000000% worth it. Just cut out ALL sugar. Eat mostly fat and moderate protien. Thats it.

originally posted by: Greenblaz
a reply to: Bigburgh

Pittsburgh... the WORST place to be on a diet!

JT

True! When the menu says Peanut Butter and Crisco sanwhich with a side of wings swimming in blue cheese sauce.😁

a reply to: DBCowboy

Ween you off that stuff, you'll fall off the wagon if you go cold turkey...with swiss cheese on marble rye bread and a dark pint of stout, followed up by a cherries jubilee.

a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

Can't play the video. What does it show?

originally posted by: Perfectenemy
a reply to: DBCowboy

My condolences DB.

I'm so glad that my insane metabolism rate prevents me from getting fat ever. It's impossible for me. I can eat what and how much i want and still maintain my current weight with no effort or problems at all.

Enjoy your gluten free meals and of course the indefinable paste called tofu.

I'm in the same boat - 6'2" and 160lbs no matter what I stuff in my face. It's hell knowing that all the pasta, fried chicken, cake and ice cream in the world won't get me to bulk up

Hot sauce lots of hotsauce

If ur forced to eat tofu get schezwan sauce for it ... when i had roomates we would cook ribeyes with that as the side ... man i miss being able to afford a ribeye every night ... i dont miss walking in the desert heat or sleeping 3 dudes to a room tho lol

Water just put down 16 oz befor every meal it makes a huge diferance

For butter ... just use coconut oil and cook it in herbs and garlic strain let it solidify ... ull still miss butter just not as much

Bbq more ... yes that fatless saltless pice of boild meat is not tasty add some smoke flavor to it

Im 320 6'1 myself ... iv just became lazzy since i met my wife lol ... go outside ... what for its hot and bright ... if u saw me 7 years ago tho man i looked like a guy who lived on ribeyes and tofu

Diet and no alcohol eh...

Well this is where you start to negotiate.


Your wife has gone to the extreme, I guess expecting you to not follow through...
Almost giving you a chance...



This is where you use all 4 of your brain cells DB...


Tell her you accept, on the condition you can stuff your face at breakfast and eat less as the day continues...
& only start drinking at 10:00am rather than when you wake up.


Compromise. That's all this is about.

But don't flinch during negotiations, mate.

Your wife will have you over a barrel (of beer you can't drink).

Good luck.

In 6 months you'll look like Arnie.