It has happened. The unthinkable. The nightmare has begun.

Apparently. . . . my bride, the love of my life, the reason for my being, the Sun to my moon. . . .

Is putting me on a diet.

Let this thread be a chronicle of the horrors I must face, the herculean challenges I must confront.

The sordid wench wants me to actually live for more than just a few more years. She wants me to be old and put up with my children for decades!

FOR DECADES!

Is she mad? Is she totally insane?

Well, she is of the species, "Wimmin".

I knew I should have gone gay. Another guy wouldn't put me through the horror of a sensible diet.

What does she consider a sensible diet? What's your version? What is the health issue she is looking to correct?

a reply to: DBCowboy

a reply to: AkontaDarkpaw

The shrew wants me to eat lean meats, more vegetables.

she wants me to starve away on a 2,000 calorie/day diet.

I now know how those on the Bataan Death March felt.

a reply to: Bigburgh

Damn you.

Damn you to hell!

a reply to: DBCowboy

I went to my doctor today. Everything looked good on my bloodwork, blood pressure, etc.
But....
He told me to lose 4 to 6 pounds by my next visit in November.
I am thinking about going with a high protein no carbs diet.
What is your wife going to force you to do?

a reply to: DBCowboy

My condolences DB. I'm so glad that my insane metabolism rate prevents me from getting fat ever. It's impossible for me. I can eat what and how much i want and still maintain my current weight with no effort or problems at all.

Enjoy your gluten free meals and of course the indefinable paste called tofu.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Dude I just made my hubs some Manwich and baked a chocolate fudge cake for supper. I want him to live for decades for sure but a full time sensible diet is torturous! We will clog our arteries in happiness together!

a reply to: DBCowboy

If you called me a shrew when I cooked meals for you I might wanna double the cholesterol.😜

a reply to: Bigburgh


I would KILL for that fried chicken liver sub! Damn does that thing look good!

Awwww. Poor pitiful Cowboy.

I'll follow this thread tonight while I finish my peach cobbler.

a reply to: butcherguy

Chicken, brown rice, steamed vegetables, no butter, and something called yo-gert. I have no idea what that alien dish is.

What kind of steak is a "yo-gert"?

Plus, I have to give up sodas and no booze.

No booze.

Why she doesn't just ask me to stop breathing is beyond me.

a reply to: Bigburgh

I can just hear Ralph Wiggum from 'The Simpsons' saying.... "I'm helping!".

a reply to: seeker1963

It's local..

😁

edit

originally posted by: [post=22452334]DBCowboy
Is she mad? Is she totally insane?

Well, she is of the species, "Wimmin".

Women are not evil incarnate for nothing.

a reply to: DBCowboy

You will want to stay away from the yogurt.
The kind that she will have you eating will taste very sour, like milk that is WAY past the 'use by' date.
They make yogurt that doesn't taste like crap, but it is full of sugar.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: butcherguy

Chicken, brown rice, steamed vegetables, no butter, and something called yo-gert. I have no idea what that alien dish is.

What kind of steak is a "yo-gert"?

Plus, I have to give up sodas and no booze.

No booze.

Why she doesn't just ask me to stop breathing is beyond me.

Dear Lord.
NO BOOZE????
The woman is evil personified.

originally posted by: Bigburgh
a reply to: seeker1963

It's local..

😁

That's in the burgh???????

For some reason, I thought it was in Virginia! Awesome, I see a road trip in the future!

a reply to: Bigburgh

What is the name of that place out there, starts with a 'P', I think... that makes giant sandwiches with french fries on them?