Lets discuss "Online Dating"

I met my new partner on a "free dating" site, we been together for two years now and have never had a fight.

I went on paid sites and paid a monthly, but had no luck, I even met some people on line who I invited to my house, and when the person arrived, I immanently asked the person to leave.

Because the photo on their profile was 20 years old, so they had deceived me, I told the person who came up on my porch that you are not the person I was talking to, I don't know who you are, but please leave.

If they are willing to deceive you from the start, get rid of them immanently.

One of my rules when I was looking for a partner on the dating sites.

No currant photo, then I am not interested.

No written profile about yourself, I am not interested.

Also me being a gay, I better see that your HIV free and your last testing dates.

a reply to: Akragon

I have done online dating for a year now...and honestly I doubt I will again! They are shallow self serving and desperate people on those sites.

Funny thing you said gone are the days of meeting someone in a grocery store...for you maybe. In line I struck up a conversation and within a few minutes got a very lovely persons number. Texted them the next day, got coffee and...

I find I have met more people in group activities too like Meetup you are finding someone with similar interests.

Going to go ahead and say this as well Online dating is when you want to be lazy, sort of like the fast food of relationships...you think you ate something but its mostly empty junk.

I'm a woman who has been on many, many dates procured from the Internet. I'm not even a little bit ashamed of it, because other than using online dating to find true love, it's a great way to discover yourself. Through meeting people online I, an otherwise cripplingly shy person, was able to become confident in my interactions with others. It was amazing.

Over about a year and a half of online dating, I accepted I would say 30% of the dates I was asked out on. As a woman, I recieve an exponentially larger amount of offers than most men would, so my experience is likely different.

Here are some things I would suggest that men looking for women try while online dating. It may not work for every woman.

1. Spell check. Is it shallow for someone to judge you based on your grammar and spelling? Yes, in a way. But your first interaction with online strangers is going to be text based, so make it count.

2. Start with a sincere compliment. "Hey, I noticed in your profile you enjoy writing, I think that's neat, because I'm a big reader. Maybe I can help you edit over coffee sometime."

3. If you know you aren't attracted to a woman who messages you, feel free to ignore it. If a message you send is ignored, don't take it personally. It's common, and while it seems discourteous, it's just how it goes.

4. If you're really looking for love, try committing to a legitimate first date...somewhere public. You can even go Dutch. Most women I know don't "hang out" with people they don't know; but, blind dates are common. If you're just looking for a hook up, be as upfront as you can be.

5. If you aren't suffering from social anxiety, etc. that might prevent it, try to meet in person as soon as possible. It's easy for someone to come across as amazing via the Internet, but most times a persons true colours will show face to face.

6. Reverse image search Every. Single. Picture. You owe it to yourself to be smart about cat fishing.

7. Don't get swayed by the throw away culture that IS online dating. If a person isn't for you, you'll know; that being said, if you meet someone you enjoy, give it a little time to flower, or not. Sign out of the profile, and come back to it later. All those potential dates will still be there.

I could write a book about online dating, but Aziz Ansari beat me to it.

originally posted by: Akragon
You can say "hello" to mostly anyone on these sites... but pretty much all of the people on these sites will not even reply to a hello. They expect you to write a novel or a bloody love story in order to get their attention, yet these same women will just say hello if they want to talk to a guy... the double standard is pretty bad.

To be fair to the women, they get tonnes of "hello's" so I don't blame them for wanting something that stands out from the sea of "hello's"

Sure it's double standards when they do the "hello" their self but let's be honest most of the guys won't really care what she says just for the fact she's making the effort to say something.

I found Eharmony the best because of the ice breaking system of predefined questions & answers in order to get to know the person a little before talking to them so you can start a conversation from something they've answered or asked. I managed to get a years subscription for £3.50 thanks to a cashback deal as I thought I wanted to date, but then I got bored and decided I really don't want to date, I'm much happier being alone for selfish reasons, I now pay £3.50 a week just for the rare occasion there's somebody interesting but mostly I find there's a lot of unattractive people. Or my standards are just higher than normal and I'm incredibly shallow that I judge on looks first and not what they've written in their profile. I'm sure they're all lovely people...

a reply to: Akragon

I met my boyfriend online at a forum that was of mutual interest rather than a dating website. We've been living together for nearly 2 years now after a courtship of over a year and plan to eventually marry. I've never even looked at a dating site.

My brother met his wife through the web and she lived 2000 miles away in Canada, moved her down here and they're really happy, two of kind.

a reply to: Akragon

I think dating online is the least trustworthy approach possible. I need to feel someone's presence in order to get a good read on their "aura". Anyone that thinks they can trust someone they meet through a dating service is in denial and begging for a sham of a relationship. Real relationships require effort and time and the ability to feel.

a reply to: forthelove

The whole point of "dating" online is to connect with someone you otherwise wouldn't and meet them in person.....you know, where you spend time and effort getting to know them.

The last time I used an online dating service (match), I ended up in a 7 year relationship, engaged, with a house and dogs.

Now I'm single, have become a workaholic and can't stand the idea of being in a relationship again

Been on POF for about 7 months now. Have yet to meet anyone and feel like I'm just wasting my time. The women who do contact me are so far out of my range of acceptable it's absurd. 10 years older, severely over weight and not even close to pretty. I hate to seem shallow, but if there's no physical attraction, what's the point? We all judge each other first on the pictures we see, then, if she's cute, we go on to read the profile. No matter how well her profile reads, if she doesn't attract me physically, that's the end.
Pretty well discouraged and about to just delete my profile, if I don't get a few more promising responses soon.

a reply to: DAVID64

Maybe online dating just isn't for you. Perhaps you aren't as shallow as all that; perhaps you're the type of person who needs more than physical attraction to feel connected to someone. It's hard to get both at once while staring at a screen.

Have you been messaging women you are attracted to?

a reply to: Akragon
My brother and sister in law met on yahoo dating and have been together since about 2006. They have a baby due next month.

I met the woman I'm talking to on a dating site in January. We've gotten very close. It's like we've known each other for years and are just now talking again. She's a cool lady.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Have you made any plans on going overseas yet?

a reply to: mikeone718
None yet. We're still working things out. Hopefully within the year. Right now the whole issue is money.

a reply to: Atsbhct

A few, but when they discover I don't tolerate all the baby daddy drama BS and that I'm not willing to put up with an ex who is not so ex, they quickly move on. They seem to think bitching about the stupid things their ex did, is a good conversation starter. lol. I told one, who went on and on and on about her previous relationship, that I was not a Psychiatrist, but it was obvious she needed one. I need more than a shallow, 2 line, e mail. I mean seriously, It's like they think they're on Twitter and can't get past 140 characters. I write at least a paragraph and try to ask interesting questions or bring up an interesting subject, maybe something we both have in common and their reply is "Yeah, I like that too".
Jeez.

a reply to: DAVID64

Well I think it's a shame you're having such a crappy experience. I don't have kids, and when I dated online i filtered out potential dates with children, just a personal preference.

I can't imagine telling a stranger about anything so personal.

a reply to: Atsbhct

Oh, it just gets better as the conversation goes on. These are supposed to be adults. right? People who make their way in the world, all on their own and claim to be full spirited, fun loving...you know, all the things they're really not, but what gets me the most sometime is the spelling and grammar. I honestly hate to be "that" person, but My God People, learn to spell!! I have seen some of the worst spelling I can ever remember, this side of when my kids were in 1st grade. Either that, or it's text shorthand. That drives me insane and it's a deal breaker for me. You're trying to meet, somewhat impress and possibly start a relationship and they can't be bothered to actually complete a word.
AAAAGH.

a reply to: DAVID64

I agree. I know and love a lot of people who probably aren't eloquent writers, but my first impression of them wasn't a note reading:

hey how r u. jus wondrin if u lik my neck tats LOL

I get it.

I know a few people that met their current spouse on dating sites.

I've been with my husband over 20 yrs, but we had a separation a few years back. I put a profile on match.
I was completely honest and said I wasn't divorced.

The thing that bothered me was getting greetings from people way far away. I had put a range to cover the nearby states but some were from across the country.

And some guys really would just gush about looks. I'm just ok, I'm not gorgeous. But seriously going on and on about my looks was very weird. It just made me think they were shallow ... and couldn't handle me anyway. I only put on makeup when I feel like it. The contrast with & without is like night & day. I had current head shots and full body side and front profile shots in my profile. So it matched my description short,muscular, top heavy, curvy, medium build. I made sure people realized I wasn't skinny.

The spelling errors were an instant TURN OFF.

That was a very frustrating short lived experience. My husband had one up, too. So we got back together and took them both down.

I'm a 20 something year old, and I wouldn't mind meeting some new girls. My morals are in the right place and I believe I have my head on straight when it comes to relationships. I've been through a couple of crappy relationships and a couple of really good ones. I just don't like social media or connecting with someone over a phone, but these days I guess I don't have a choice anymore.

You have changed my perspective. I think it's time to give this online dating thing a shot, is tinder okay to start with? Or is that just for people looking for 'casual fun'?