Lets discuss "Online Dating"

Another member inspired me to write this thread... It seems through online dating he has met his Special someone... truly a lucky man. Especially considering he used this method to find said person.

I will start by saying, i could consider myself a veteran of this style of meeting people... 5-6 years on and off

Honestly this is nothing to be proud of, but it seems to be the way things work these days... Gone are the days of meeting people at the local grocery store... or just bumping into the right person. There just isn't enough trust in this world for that to happen anymore.

We as a society use the internet for almost everything...

The Options

Personally... I will not pay to meet someone. Its not that i couldn't afford to pay for these sites, but to me it makes it even more sleazy then online dating already is... Thus, sites like Eharmoney, Match and other sites that require you to pay before you can talk to anyone are automatically out the door.

Tinder

A quick matching system... you look at pics, select the ones you like... and if theres a match you can talk to that person. I've heard a lot of bad things about this app... and there are tons of Bots on there trying to get your credit card, or trying to get you to sign up with another site...

I have yet to meet anyone on this app... but there is potential as much as any other place

MeetME

Similar to tinder, but more options... and more things to do... There is a open feed where people can post whatever they want (mostly full of people whining about how they can't find anyone) and a rating system... You're free to chat with anyone you like... and post as many pics as you can...

This site has its pros and cons... while being very similar to tinder, people are free to say and post what they will... That being the case, you will get rude people on the regular... and pics/comments you won't like. This app actually amazes me because some morons actually think that asking for sexual things works... it doesn't... unless the person you're speaking to is as twisted as the sex starved twit asking the question.

POF

Probably the biggest site out there... Many people use it.

I have met many people from this site, good and bad... but again, the options are limited depending on what you're looking for

The problem with this site, and others im sure is that people lie... they will post pics of themselves from many years ago... and when you actually meet them, they look nothing like the person you saw on the site. I've experienced this many times... its almost as if these people don't realize that eventually the person you're talking to will find out what they look like.

Then there are the "Adult" sites.... Honestly, don't waste your time... they're all scams

Yes, all of these sites are based on what you post... profile descriptions matter very little because the fact is you can describe yourself any way you wish... and many people do make themselves sound much better then they actually are... this is the net as you know... you can be anything you want, until you have to face the music.

Now personally, what i look for is NOT online... or at least from what i've found so far...

Modesty is a thing of the past in online dating...

Many women say things like "im looking for a good guy"... Yet probably wouldn't give that person a second look...

You can say "hello" to mostly anyone on these sites... but pretty much all of the people on these sites will not even reply to a hello. They expect you to write a novel or a bloody love story in order to get their attention, yet these same women will just say hello if they want to talk to a guy... the double standard is pretty bad.

Though i also know what women go though on these sites... i have a few friends that tell me the horrors of online dating...

And i've made a fake profile just to see for myself.... YES it can get pretty scary

The Bottom Line

Do these sites work?

yes... they do work but again it depends on what you're looking for...

As you can see from the member that inspired me to write this... YOU can find someone online... It is very possible

IF you're looking for a piece of tail... Yes, you can find it online... but keep your expectations low

Can you find Love online?

I think its possible... but highly unlikely...

Though IF you're honest with your intentions... and willing to wade though all the nasty... (And i mean DAMN nasty)

It can happen... with a bit of luck, and a lot of patience... Perhaps great timing

But lemmie tell ya.... online dating is a scary place

a reply to: Akragon
The issue with dating sites is they say they're free, but when it comes to messaging, viewing pictures and other such things you must pay. It's absurd. And your points as well, what with the lying, but first you need to even be able to message the person and when that isn't free then it just sucks. Just my view. I understand there is money involved, but come on. "Free".

EDIT: How do you start a conversation? Like you said they won't respond to a "Hello, how are you?".

a reply to: Akragon

I used POF, my girl and I have been together for 7 months, never even had a fight yet.

a reply to: Tiamat384

the sites i've listed are the best i've found, and they are completely free.... but they have pay options

The best idea for contacting someone is to be honest... polite, and open...

Post a pic that shows your face clearly... and your body... it shows you have nothing to hide...

And keep in mind, women get literally hundreds of messages every day... the better looking the girl, the more the wolves stalk them...

Hello will rarely cut it.... you'll need at least a paragraph... and you'll get bonus points if you can make them laugh

laughing seems to be key online... at least they know you're not boring

i agree online dating is a scary place from what ive heard, plus i think people should use it as a last resort to 'find love'. Ive heard of stories of people (usually men) meeting up with others then being drugged and had their kidney (as far as i can remember) being stolen!

a reply to: Akragon
What do you write a paragraph about? I mean...I don't even know the girl and I'm expected to write about something that she may have no interest in? I'll be certain to check your sites at some point in the day. Why laughing? Why not discussing something deep and philosophical?

a reply to: Tiamat384

Look for something you have in common, and try to "make light" of it... so to speak

IF they have a discription... read it for one thing... and find something in it you can make amusing to her...

it takes a bit of practice to make something of nothing...

Laughing is the key to a woman's interest above all other things online... a guy doesn't even have to be great looking, if he can make that person laugh, you will get their attention... Keeping it is another thing

Also keep in mind there are many women online that aren't actually looking for anything... they're just curious, and no matter what you say... they will never reply

When I was single, back in the old days, people would go to clubs to meet others. I hated doing that, but at least you could see the person right away. But I found people were still pretty fake at the club scene, and pretty shallow as well.

I met my husband through mutual friends, which is the best way to meet someone, in my opinion.

My step-daughter used one of those dating sites that cost money (at least for the men). I don't know if it was e-harmony or match.com - one of those. She met her current husband, who is a great guy. They got married, he adopted her daughter, and they now also have a son together. I think she was pretty picky on who she chose to go out with - she only chose about 3 guys from the site, her current husband included. The rest of them were crap, I believe.

a reply to: kaylaluv

I agree 100%

Mutual friends is the best way to meet someone

i've considered trying a pay site, but i can't see it being any better then the free ones...

a reply to: Tiamat384

I had really great luck at it.

" hey, how is your day going? "

Works rather well, I had several dates in just a couple weeks before I started talking to my girl.

Plus i'm a blue eyed devil with ravishing good looks( OK not really ravishing ), most liked my eyes, or so they told me basically every time.

I always left the meet options very open ended for them.

I would say " I'm going to stop by applebees for dinner at 6 tonight, I will be wearing a blue and white collared shirt. Stop by and check me out.

If you like what you see say HI, if not no problem. "

Works like a charm.

a reply to: Akragon

My daughter met her husband on Match. They've been together 7 years, but just celebrated their first wedding anniversary.

They were both busy professionals who didn't have a lot of time, had histories of disappointing relationships and knew their priorities and what they didn't want in a relationship.

I think my daughter dated 3 other guys, that she met online, before she found "the one".

a reply to: Sargeras
Sounds like a decent plan and a way to keep it simple and not obligatory for either party involved.

a reply to: windword

ok... so thats two that met the right person via Pay sites...

this doesn't make me happy lol

a reply to: Akragon
Good points. Will keep in mind. Not too many people with common interests with me, not that I've seen.

originally posted by: Tiamat384
a reply to: Sargeras
Sounds like a decent plan and a way to keep it simple and not obligatory for either party involved.

Yes, and it gives her options, the ladies love options.
Especially when meeting a stranger for the first time.

Plus it was no stress for me, because I wouldn't even know if they were gonna show up or not, so I would just be having a meal.

a reply to: Sargeras
Options are always great. And neither feels shame/worry. Simply go and do what you do at a meal without actually waiting for anyone to show.

a reply to: Akragon

Well, I wouldn't use them either. But, then again, I'm not looking.

a reply to: Akragon

Missing from your list is a nice little site called okcupid.

I have tried it myself and met for coffee with a few people. And once or twice, even more..

It's a free site with the usual gimmicks and suggested 'incentives' to upgrade your membership.

Really, I have heard again and again from people who had great success with dating sites. I am not one of them. I have decided to stick with the old-fashioned route. Haven't had much success there either

Honestly, all I gathered from dating sites are fakes, bots, long-abandoned accounts, and shallow people with lots of lies. One person I met looked nothing like their photo ha.

No, I'm afraid it's going to take a special type of woman who can tolerate my real manliness

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

I've tried okcupid before... it was a pay site

perhaps they've changed their format though...

Im seeing someone at the moment, but im sure i'll eventually have the chance to take a peek again

a reply to: Akragon

Oh I paid alright for using these dating sites

Just not any money..