Why can't some ATSers differentiate between Transgender vs Transsexual?

violet
Why do we need to know at ATS?

Your explanation confused me even more. Makes it sound like they're confused.

I thought a transsexual was someone who changed their genitals, breasts to become the other gender.
Like if a female flattens her breasts, gets a strapodictomy , she becomes a he.

I thought a man who likes to dress as a woman's or vise versa was a cross dresser. Or is that a transgender?

I suppose I'm ignorant then. No. I don't understand it. Nor do I feel I should unless it becomes part of my life where I must.

I'm dealing with a gay daughter. That's enough for me to understand right now. She has some friends that changed and I just cal them " pat" re the movie pat.

edit on 10-2-2014 by violet because: (no reason given)

Just so you know...there is nothing to deal with. She is your daughter. The same daughter you have always had. You may know something new about her....but she is still the same girl. Just love her and let the rest work itself out.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


And all I'm basically saying is that it isn't okay to have this don't ask don't tell policy within society because it allows for openly straight couples but not openly gay couples. My point to Slayer is that the more you try to shove people in a closet the more they fight back, parades was just a tiny piece of that, why you or he ran with it is beyond me, for my part I should have disengaged it long before now.

Wow I think you need to go to more pride parades. We have a big one here and there's nothing shocking about it, yes if you go to the gay village it may be a bit more upfront but you pay to get in there because it,s a big clubbing scene.
It a relatively family friendly day, a big party for all to enjoy.

I consider there to be 3 physical genders/sexes: Male, female, and full-fledged hermaphrodite. I'm vaguely aware that hermaphrodite is no longer considered PC enough & is shunned by some, but I don't care. It's a proper scientific term, and it applies. Therefore, I will use it.

I don't care much about the psychological genders. You are what you are on the outside & inside. If you're a physical male, but feel you're all feminine at heart, whatever, go for it. Don't expect me to call you a girl just because you think you act like one, though. I consider myself to be very "tomboy", but not male. I'm not all that "girly" in my actions & behavior -- I've never worn a dress or skirt, can't walk in heels, and shun the facepaint/make-up, I'm not particularly overly sensitive emotionally. That's about all I can think of that make a girl psychologically girly to begin with. "Femmy" emotions/actions are just different tiers of what already exists, ergo, your level of empathy or emotional reaction to something does not dictate a gender, just a reactive interpretation, or preference. At least this is how is boils down for me.

So forgive me if I don't actually get the difference between transsexual or transgender (which I admit I don't offhand) Whether or not you're a good person at heart matters a whole lot more to me than what someone wants to descriptively pidgeonhole themselves as. I will treat you as I see fit based on your actions towards others, not how you view your gender. I will not mollycoddle based on that, sorry.

Ugh; more labels! I can't keep up with them all!

We had to stop saying 'Negro', and say 'African American'; then it became more PC to say 'Black'; Indian became 'Native America'. I'm never sure what the proper term is on any given day!

Now we have 'gender issues' to deal with, and I can't keep up!
The 'girl next door' becomes the 'guy next door', so I stop saying 'she', and start saying 'he'. 'He' goes to college for two years, and comes home as 'she' again. Sheesh! Give an old lady a break!

I don't care what gender you are or aren't, or which you identify with today; all I see when I talk to you is a fellow human being that is making their way through life, same as anybody. Why do I have to 'define' you as anything more, or less?

All this controversy that is brought to the table, nit-picking 'this name', 'that term'. PC this, PC that - well, I opt out. Done trying to play the PC game with anybody! I'm too old to keep of with all the 'call it this' ,' call it that', and if considering you a fellow human being without putting a PC label on it isn't enough, then you have missed the opportunity to interact with someone you just might enjoy knowing.

reply to post by gardener


Because it doesn't concern their lives enough to try.

Not being a dick, but it doesn't.

Tran-sexual, superficial fetish. Transgender, someone who identifies more with the opposite gender than the one they actually qualify as (genetics/physiology).

BTW allegedly liberal people use whatever the current human rights plight is to their advantage. That is why Bradley Manning is now Chelsea. You can read it in print from Julian Assange. He told his people they may want to come out as gay or transsexual because should they be caught they US GLBT movement will support them in such a case.

Personally I don't care what people do. Sexuality is a fluctuating thing throughout our lives. Sure we lean one way predominantly, but what I am getting at is.. this is a silly thread. We don't have to get the difference, the difference has to get us.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


I didn't say I had any problem with my gay daughter did I?
Of course I love and support her. She's newly married and very happy. We get along great. Nothing has changed.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


Are you assuming every parent of a gay child won't accept being told? I think some do think that. FYI I already knew so I helped her tell me, since I thought she might be scared to talk so openly. I don't why she would be scared since we had previously discussed this and I said I would never go against my own child. I actually thought my son was gay. Her gay friends warned her it wouldn't go well, but they were wrong. So it was put into her head to be scared. At the time she had a Christian girlfriend who had parents that disowned her.

So I asked if there was something we need to talk about. She's shy and said no. So I outright asked are you gay? She said yes. Then she cried and asked if I don't like her now.I said why would I not like you? You're still my daughter. I love you just the sam e as I always have, nothing can change that.

I just wish I had known she feared a bad reaction.

I think we get a bad rap. Not all of us react this way to our children

reply to post by violet

I just wish I had known she feared a bad reaction.

Maybe it was because she has seen how a large portion of society reacts. Maybe it was because society has taught her that she has something to be ashamed of. Maybe she didn't know that it really doesn't matter to some people.

Maybe.

reply to post by violet


im not implying anyting about you. Just responding to a parent that made a statement.

My son felt there would be a bad reaction due to typical hispanic catholic dogma. He had to understand taht we were there to stand in front of him should any of that occur. For him, the pressure was tearing him apart, so we had to intervene and pull it out of him.

Regarding my last reply.
If this is off topic, sorry, but I think your next threads should be about telling your parents. That isn't discussed much.

I mean there is my daughter suffering mental anguish, fearing telling me something I already knew. I eventually had to ask her. I would have asked sooner but didn' t want to intrude in her private life.

So please do not fear telling your parents, they love you always. Always. It might work out really well and you worried for nothing.

If they don't like it , then too bad, but they will come around eventually. It gets better, as they say. It really does!!'

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan

A gay pride parade tends to relate to highlighting how one chooses to utilize their genitals. That, alone, isn't so bad. Just do it in modest ways

So - it's prudishness that's the issue?

There are all kinds of people in this world - and the gay community is no different. Maybe your son would have nothing to do with an over the top, hyper-sexual parade

No doubt there are folks that avoid Mardi Gras and Carnival for similar reasons...

And sometimes kids say stuff to their folks - then go to the parade anyhow

:-)

Crazy kids

Where do bears and power bottoms fit in those two?

2nd line.

Phage
reply to post by violet

 

I just wish I had known she feared a bad reaction.

Maybe it was because she has seen how a large portion of society reacts. Maybe it was because society has taught her that she has something to be ashamed of. Maybe she didn't know that it really doesn't matter to some people.

Maybe.

edit on 2/10/2014 by Phage because: (no reason given)

Phage
She did tell me it was her friends that had made her scared. Like I said we've discussed being gay. She knew my position on it. I was prepared, waiting.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


Ok thats cool. I thought I misinterpreted myself. I say things in humor sometimes and it might come off wrong in text on a screen. It's all good

reply to post by Spiramirabilis


oh, he may participate. But he is very modest. He is very thin, and still won't go without a shirt (i think he has some female identification that comes out like that....but who knows) while at a pool or water park. Not around the house with his brother, mom, and I, either.

Face books new gender options

- Agender
- Androgyne
- Androgynous
- Bigender
- Cis
- Cisgender
- Cis Female
- Cis Male
- Cis Man
- Cis Woman
- Cisgender Female
- Cisgender Male
- Cisgender Man
- Cisgender Woman
- Female to Male
- FTM
- Gender Fluid
- Gender Nonconforming
- Gender Questioning
- Gender Variant
- Genderqueer
- Intersex
- Male to Female
- MTF
- Neither
- Neutrois
- Non-binary
- Other
- Pangender
- Trans
- Trans*
- Trans Female
- Trans* Female
- Trans Male
- Trans* Male
- Trans Man
- Trans* Man
- Trans Person
- Trans* Person
- Trans Woman
- Trans* Woman
- Transfeminine
- Transgender
- Transgender Female
- Transgender Male
- Transgender Man
- Transgender Person
- Transgender Woman
- Transmasculine
- Transsexual
- Transsexual Female
- Transsexual Male
- Transsexual Man
- Transsexual Person
- Transsexual Woman
- Two-Spirit

I guess?
Is this for real?
www.slate.com...