posted on Nov, 16 2013 @ 01:20 AM
I am not bragging (I have failed many times before and very well could do so again before I leave this earth), more or less posting this here for
myself to keep it going. The more people I tell, the more I feel the need to succeed. I can't explain it.
Anyway... after smoking for over 20 years, almost 2 packs (sometimes more) a day I have reached my half year milestone. I never thought I could do it
for a few days, but here I am. Halfway through 1 year.
It took about 2 weeks before I could tell a huge difference in my breathing. I was diagnosed with COPD and asthma after a near death bout of pneumonia
a few years back. I was around 33 at the time. I smoked on. I left the hospital bed (with pneumonia) to go outside and smoke. Yes. I understand how
stupid that is, but the addiction is what it is.
My husband got sick with his breathing a little over 6 months ago to the point where he was passing out cold in the middle of the floor after coughing
fits. His diagnosis.... COPD and asthma. Every time he got up and coughed I lived in fear that he would hit the floor again. Doctors were looking at
putting him on oxygen part time. He is 38.
Then it hit me.... (yes it took a lot apparently)
How stupid is this? I do not want to be on oxygen before I am 40. I can't mow the grass without feeling like I am going to pass out. My breathing
indoors was even affected by the humidity and heat outdoors... at 36. So I decided to quit. Regardless of whether my husband would or not. At least I
could quit and it wouldn't make it harder for him to do so if he ever felt the need.
I started on vaping then went to 0 mg of Nicotine. I do still crave a cigarette on occasion. I can't lie about that, but it comes and goes a little
quicker each time. I try to remind myself each time of how long it has been since I smoked a cigarette and how all of that would be for nothing if I
picked up just one smoke. It's that bad. I know that I can't have one. I know after many tries that one leads to many more and I refuse to do that
This time, with everything that I have in me... I will stay a non smoker.
I guess making this post makes me feel more accountable in a way. Failing while alone is one thing, but failing in front of many others is something
totally different. I hope to prevent either one.
edit on 11/16/2013 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)