Can you fill in some gaps? Does she use her male friends for financial as well as for more ephemeral support?
She has never used me that way. In fact, even when we are out for an evening together she will not permit me to buy her a drink, preferring to
purchase her own. As to how she rolls where other fellas are concerned, I do not know, but she has always said to me that she does not like to have
things bought for her, because she does not want to owe anything to anyone. She is also pretty uncomfortable with receiving gifts on birthdays and
Christmas, and only got comfortable with the idea that no matter her objections, I will insist on at least getting her a fresh rose on Valentines, in
February this year.
Does she have any friends with whom she is close, but not sexually involved? Does she have any female friends?
Yes, and yes.
Her decision to associate with a noxious predator such as the one you describe because he's putting out monetarily does not speak well for her. Maybe
she's charming, and maybe she has a full roster of pity-me stories to deploy-- most sociopaths do.
The money thing is one of the things that concerns me the most, because she has always been firmly against being "kept" if you understand my
meaning. She has always preferred to get her own drinks, make her own way in the world, than to offer anyone any leverage over her what so ever, and
although it took some getting used to (for a traditionalist, door opening, lay your jacket in a puddle type of fellow that I am), I learned to respect
that. In terms of her psychopathology, I would not say that she is sociopathic. She may be bi-polar (that does run in her family a bit), but I would
have recognised the markers of a sociopath. My father was very much that way, and I tend to spot them a mile off.
I might be jumping the gun, but she's not a free-spirit, she's a parasite.
Rid yourself of her the way you would a tapeworm and find the relationship you want and deserve.
She is no parasite. The only thing she has had from me, other than some utterly valueless trinkets (and when I say valueless, I mean costing bugger
all, and having only sentimental value), is my care and attention for five years, and my company of course. If she had drained my pocket of its scant
resources, and still demanded more, then maybe she would be classifiable in such terms. What she is however, is willful and stubborn, and when she is
set on an idea, she will ensure it comes to pass. That is why I feel I have no choice but to do as you suggest and leave her to her own devices.
Simply put, I cannot be a part of her life, if she wants the bastard that has caused all this trouble, in it. She is unlikely to see reason, but I
cannot just turn away and allow her to invent some toxic reason for that in her head. I must lay it out clearly, that although I love her, could...
nay HAVE filled notepads and refill books with page after vomit inducing page of poetry in her name, and would do pretty much anything you could name
just to see a smile on her face, this is something with which I cannot come to terms.
I appreciate the sentiment though Eidolon!