It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
Truebrit may I ask some questions?
What is the age gap between both of you?
How long ago, in your friendly relationship, was it intimate?
Who in this relationship has the better deal?
What are the odds that, this woman has chosen the worst possible type of human to associate with and you knowing his background?
I'm only asking because your answers may help you.
To contemplate giving this woman an ultimatum is in some way controlling on your part, bare with me please.
With your help, advice and energies that you have devoted to her in the past 5 years, shows that you feel she owes you some kind of loyalty. You say you are the longest she has stuck around with. Is that some kind of medal you're wearing?
You don't need to give her this ultimatum, you have done your best in this relationship you have with her.
You must make the decision to walk away now and let her control her future without you to guide her.
Sometimes we have to let go and go through the grieving process of losing that special part of our lives. And you will grieve because of your nature of being a nice guy.
She has already moved on and has made her decision.
Can you fill in some gaps? Does she use her male friends for financial as well as for more ephemeral support?
Does she have any friends with whom she is close, but not sexually involved? Does she have any female friends?
Her decision to associate with a noxious predator such as the one you describe because he's putting out monetarily does not speak well for her. Maybe she's charming, and maybe she has a full roster of pity-me stories to deploy-- most sociopaths do.
I might be jumping the gun, but she's not a free-spirit, she's a parasite.
Rid yourself of her the way you would a tapeworm and find the relationship you want and deserve.
I still say you deserve so much better. She is thinking of herself, what she wants, what she needs, what she thinks what she feels. What about YOU? It is crystal clear to me that she is not what will make you happy and content in the long run. You are still a young man and there are many woman who would appreciate and love you.
What I do know, is that I cannot think of the future right now, because I have to deal with the present. And the present...the present is deeply unpleasant.
reply to post by Night Star
I am sorry to hear that Night Star. I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling at this time. Really puts things in some perspective, thats for damned sure.