... And I already think I know, which way I'm going to deal with this. I just need to let it out of me so that I can process it.
But for the benefit of those who have never conversed with me over much, I ought to lay the groundwork for this appalling balls up.
Six years ago give or take some months, I had just come out of a pretty terrible relationship, which for reasons which have no bearing on this
current matter, left me hollowed out. Like an apple after an unfortunate encounter with a tungsten carbide drill bit. I wandered around, under a cast
iron cloud for a long time. I spent a year in limbo. Friends used to tell me that they were worried about me, that I wasn't myself. I never realised
it at the time, but of course, they were right. Food didn't taste of anything much, and making me laugh, I am reliably informed, was like trying to
pull the proverbial sword from the stone.
I was at work one day in summer, at our shop. The day was hot and bright, and there had been little by way of customers that morning, but just before
twelve, this woman walks into my shop. Five foot seven inches tall, slim but not fragile, with the longest plaited ponytail I have ever laid eyes on,
wearing a plaid skirt, workboots and a black vest top. She searched around the walls, looking for something, and like the professional I am, I saw
this, and asked if I could help, and it was only then that she turned toward me, and the full force of her smile smacked me clean in the head.
I was able to retain my composure pretty well (mostly because, and I do not mean this to sound as ridiculous as it might seem, but I am more than a
bit of a monk in this regard), and managed not to drool, or jabber or any of the other idiotic things people often do. Turned out, she worked around
the corner from me, and her boss had sent her out for a mop head, which we sell as part of the hardware section of our stores stock. I sold her the
stuff she needed, and away she went.
Couple of days later, me and a friend of mine were out at a bar. It was pretty busy in there, and none the less, when I went out for a smoke, I had
no problem spotting her across the crowded courtyard out back. We got to talking over drinks and cigs, and time passed by so fast... She had to go,
and I went back to my buddies place for the evening. I spent the entire time between then and the next time we met, wishing to good God that I had
asked for her number.
It was barely a week before she was back in my shop, looking for bits and bobs for work, but this time, before leaving, not only did she give me her
number, but she invited me to a barbecue. It was shortly after this that we had our first sexual encounter, after which it became apparent that she
was just not into relationships as an idea. This was a problem for me, because being around her made me insanely happy, and I'm a traditional kind of
a fellow to a degree. Thusly, I came to the first choice in our long association. Was I to cease my interest in her, knowing I could never have her in
mind body and soul, the way my upbringing suggested would have been right. Or was I to continue to consort with this woman, in the knowledge that
despite the sorrow of never being able to ask for more, I would have the joy of her companionship.
I chose to continue our association.
Fast forward to now, and after five years, after carrying her home from the pub on countless occasions, after her getting herself into scrape after
bother, after scrape, out of which I have either pulled her, or after which I have nursed her back into some sense of normalcy, helping her with her
house, and in one instance saving her life, I have finally come to a point where I cannot legitimately continue to associate with her.
She returned from a recent excursion to the Northern climes of the isles, and upon her return, she called me, inviting me to a bar of our mutual
preference, to introduce me to a new "friend" of hers. I have known many of her male friends over the years, but the man I met that night... Well, he
was this guy:
And the reason I knew this man? He taught me at school. I remembered his face from both school, and a local newspaper, in which his perversions were
made public, years after I had left education. I gathered as much intel as I could on the man, the local news website, the above link, and my own
personal take on the fellow (who was a creep when I knew him), before alerting her to his true nature. When I did, she seemed intent on breaking all
contact with him, and I thought the matter closed.
This week, I met with her at an open mic night, attended by various people with whom both she and I associate. She and I purchased drinks, and sat
down to enjoy the evenings entertainments, when she told me that despite my warnings about this man, she had been seeing him, and that he "looks after
her really well".
I have been through an awful lot with this woman. We have history, and I value that history. But I think that now the time has come to cut ties with
her. She is an intelligent woman, and I know that she is aware of the predatory nature of offenders like him, their ability to manipulate people, to
gather about themselves the trappings of legitimacy. I have offered her the proof of this mans wrong doing, and knowing all that, she has still
decided to associate with the bastard. I guess the only question is, do I give her an ultimatum, one more chance to leave the bastardly bugger to his
own devices, or do I merely tell her straight "woman, this is too messed up, even for me, see ya!".
It seems cliche, but even as much as I knew that this woman isn't the most...reasonable sometimes, I never thought it would come to this.
Anyway guys, sorry to have bought such crappy tidings to the boards, but I really needed to just... Let it out. For one thing, you guys are like a
second family to me, and I suppose it's only right that you ought to know what's going on with me. For another, I respect you all, and your opinions,
and I need to know what you people think about what's happening, whether you maybe have any ideas that I haven't had, that might be better than my own
with regard to navigating this absolute crapstorm. Thanks for reading.
edit on 9-11-2013 by TrueBrit because: (no reason given)