posted on Sep, 23 2013 @ 01:07 PM
You will find that addicts and some with untreated mental health issues, do all they can to manipulate people into taking care of them and taking on
responsibility for them! its perfectly normal for your mum to behave in this way, given her circumstances.
However, you are not her parent, her nurse, her therapist, nor her nursemaid. This is not your responsibility! you didn't cause it and you can't
While you are living with her, you are protecting her from herself on some level. If you are not living there, she has to face herself. Addicts do
not recover unless or until they hit rock bottom. They have to seek help out themselves, if you do it for them, you are enabling.
!st thing I would do, is google enabling and co dependency, you may find some interesting and thought provoking information.
2nd thing, move out! Do not abandon her, just build your own life. You could find some details of organisations who will help her, tell her you love
her, but you are now going to put your self first.
After that, its up to you how much you involve yourself. I have dealt with similar but with my ex and my child. I explained I chose to not have such
destructive influences in my life, if I wanted that lifestyle I would drink/take drugs myself. I stepped back. I did make it very clear that if they
wanted to change their lifestyle and were prepared to put the effort it, I would then step forward and support them.
But at all times, they should make their own choices, they have the right to do so, but so do I!!!!!!!!
Its hard to live with after leaving, but gets easier over time. Your mum is a person, she has choices, she chooses to drink, to not eat etc. I stuck
this out for 7 years and the emotional damage it caused me was dreadful at the time. I am now much more healthy on an emotional level, my child is a
changed person and we are rebuilding our relationship! It can work, but you need to stop being drawn in to taking responsibility.
If you want more personal advice, send me a pm, ive done some training in these fields, have an eating disorder myself, been through so much with
addiction, im happy to share what I know,
Do not allow your mothers illness to control you any longer. You are worth more than that.