Never underestimate a woman's desire to be mistreated.

Well, I talked to her sister last night and she is also trying to get her to get rid of him, as is their mother. But, I don't really know what's happened with that yet. Oh well, it's a new day and I'm feeling better about the whole thing. I guess we'll see what it is in the end, but I'm not going to waste any more time on her until she gets rid of him for good.

reply to post by dave_welch

That's the spirit dude, if your going to be walking into that pit. Do it some other time on your terms, or better yet don't do it at all. I never understood why people are willing to go out of there way for all that, you know its going to be nothing but a headache. It could just possible be your lucky day, however luck does not hold up for long. One day you may see her coming around again. You know as they say love is temporary madness, if that is true then true love must be permanent madness. Who knows she just may be in permanent madness with this guy. Ain't love grand. All things like the seasons will change, even the love thing has its seasons.

reply to post by dave_welch


You know the old saying about a horse and water..... Ball is in her court.

reply to post by Gazrok


Don’t beat a dead horse!
If I was Dave I would stop horsing around!

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by dave_welch

 

You know the old saying about a horse and water..... Ball is in her court.

Yeah, that's the way I see it. Plus, I think I've already wasted enough time and effort on her.

reply to post by dave_welch

Like I said dude, the whole things was just about her keeping her options open. If you really wanted to you probable could of persuaded her, you could even even tried to put my advice to practice. But really whats the point? You would be better off just going to a bar or somewhere else and picking up some random girl, then dealing with all of that and all those games on a consistent basis. Once the chemicals wear off and your mind is a little more clear you will ask yourself. "WTF was all that # about"

Nothing you have said says that this dude is mistreating her or that she is not were she really wants to be, the opinions of you or her sister and mother are just that. In fact the female mind is sometimes not such a great mystery, it could even be that the fact that her mother and everybody around her is telling her to go one way that she is going the other way. I mean gee were has that not happened before, especially concerning the fairer gender.

Who knows eh! People are weird, like another poster said some pages back, some stay with a certain guy even though they were abused but the minute they cheated they were out the door. Or it could even be backwards of that, I have seen it. And it does happen, or any number of other things to which people are attached to. The one thing they all had in common is once you get passed all the hype and imagery and illusions people like to project outward, that really at its base core even with all that. They really do and truly deserve each other. It is not luck or chance that brings them together, like I said. Its practically cosmic fate, trials and tribulations, a learning process some would say. But that is just an excuse for a series of moments, there echos leaving behind conditions.

Wow.
Just.....wow.

OK,
I read the whole thing.
Lots of good advice and a little broad brushing but I think our friend Dave needs to understand a basic fact.

! Most important thing a man can know about women!

ATTRACTION is not the same thing as LOVE.

Women are attracted to masculinity, confidence, even aggression.

This is what gets their motor running.
In absence of love (or even like) attraction will take a woman back to a bad relationship more often than not.

Even if a woman likes you, if she's not attracted to you, you are pretty much out of the picture.

You are not alone. Many men fall into this situation because they don't "get It."

Women won't respond if you try to make them like you.
They won't be attracted to a nice guy.
They won't suddenly turn around and see how good you are to them.
It doesn't work that way.

Women are not attracted to nice guys.

Women are attracted to confident guys.
Women are attracted to dangerous guys.
Women are attracted to a challenge.
Women are attracted to a sense of humor.
Women are attracted to man who shows dominance.

This doesn't necessarily mean they "like" these things. Only that they are attracted to these things.

Unfortunately for nice guys everywhere, these traits are not taught in school and most nice guys have had these traits trained out of them by modern society. Most of what you see in the media and on romance shows is pure horse hockey. This doesn't mean you can't be a nice guy. It just means you need to be a more complete man.

You must look at yourself in the mirror and own up to your issues.
If you are not the guy that women are attracted too then you can change it. Or, just feel sorry for yourself.
I would avoid the self pity route. It's a waste of time and very unattractive to women.

Billions of women on the planet.
They aren't attracted to nice guys.
We all die eventually.
You do the math.

Originally posted by badgerprints
Wow.
Just.....wow.

OK,
I read the whole thing.
Lots of good advice and a little broad brushing but I think our friend Dave needs to understand a basic fact.

! Most important thing a man can know about women!

ATTRACTION is not the same thing as LOVE.

Women are attracted to masculinity, confidence, even aggression.

This is what gets their motor running.
In absence of love (or even like) attraction will take a woman back to a bad relationship more often than not.

Even if a woman likes you, if she's not attracted to you, you are pretty much out of the picture.

You are not alone. Many men fall into this situation because they don't "get It."

Women won't respond if you try to make them like you.
They won't be attracted to a nice guy.
They won't suddenly turn around and see how good you are to them.
It doesn't work that way.

Women are not attracted to nice guys.

Women are attracted to confident guys.
Women are attracted to dangerous guys.
Women are attracted to a challenge.
Women are attracted to a sense of humor.
Women are attracted to man who shows dominance.

This doesn't necessarily mean they "like" these things. Only that they are attracted to these things.

Unfortunately for nice guys everywhere, these traits are not taught in school and most nice guys have had these traits trained out of them by modern society. Most of what you see in the media and on romance shows is pure horse hockey. This doesn't mean you can't be a nice guy. It just means you need to be a more complete man.

You must look at yourself in the mirror and own up to your issues.
If you are not the guy that women are attracted too then you can change it. Or, just feel sorry for yourself.
I would avoid the self pity route. It's a waste of time and very unattractive to women.

Billions of women on the planet.
They aren't attracted to nice guys.
We all die eventually.
You do the math.

edit on 14-7-2013 by badgerprints because: (no reason given)

I'm not trying to flame you or anything, but I'm getting tired of hearing this.

You can be a nice person and still be masculine. Also, I'd rather not become some dickhead jersey shore type.

Like I said, Not trying to flame you personally or anything. I just think that this is a cop out or just wrong all together.

reply to post by dave_welch

This doesn't mean you can't be a nice guy. It just means you need to be a more complete man.

This sentence is in the post I made and the quote you cited.

You are ignoring good advice because you don't want to take responsibility for who you are.

That's your choice.You can be a victim if you want.. You have the rest of your life to get used to it.

Good luck with that.

reply to post by badgerprints


No, I just don't understand what you're saying. What is it that makes me incomplete? I am a hard working person, I provide for myself and others whenever possible. I don't go looking for fights, but if one comes my way, you can bet that I'll finish it. I just don't understand what you guys are saying. I'm not effeminate in any way, I'm just a nice person. Where's the problem with that?

reply to post by dave_welch


You are thinking like a guy who was raised by the American media of the last 30 years.
That's not a fault. It's a trait you have learned.

You have been taught to be what a feminist society wants males to be.

This is basically the same as being mentally neutered.

The basic facts are these.

1. Women have specific traits in men that they are biologically ATTRACTED too. They cannot change this.
They may tell you that they like nice guys but that is NOT the same as being ATTRACTED to them.

2. Women don't have control over what attracts them. This is a fact. It is not education, class, morals or experience. It is biology. Don't think that this is a sexist statement. Men have the same biological issues. They are just attracted to different traits. Women are aware of this. Pretty much every woman is aware of this and understands it.

3. Many men in the US do not understand this system of attraction.
At least, not any more. Mainly because we have been fed a load of crap since the mid seventies. Men from other countries who haven't learned to act like Alan Alda still "get it" because they haven't been taught otherwise.

American women will often talk about how attractive Italian men or Brazilian men or Spanish men or Greeks are. They say it's an animal attraction. Magnetic. They also say that many of these men they are overly macho, controlling and treat women poorly but the attraction is still there. They are still extremely attractive to women because they understand how to be that way naturally.

Women want a guy who is nice, but nice is at the bottom of the list and only absolutely necessary in a long term relationship.

The attraction issue is foremost in the problem of getting a woman.

Are you confident?
Not from reading your thread.

Do you have self respect?
Not from reading your thread.

From reading your thread it seems you have fallen for a woman who has no interest in you and followed her around like a puppy. She is involved with someone who treats her poorly but she stays with him.

WHY?

Because she is ATTRACTED to him. She is not attracted to you.

Women are attracted to confident guys.
Women are attracted to dangerous guys.
Women are attracted to a challenge.
Women are attracted to a sense of humor.
Women are attracted to man who shows dominance.

These things reach a woman on a basic biological level.

You can't change that.

You can learn to understand that and to make changes in your life so that you will become attractive to women.
As it stands, you are not attractive by your own admission.
(this is not looks, money or politeness)

I know you don't like all of this but that's ok.
It pisses you off but that's because "nice guy" is your comfort zone.
You have worked hard for years to be a nice guy. You've done what everyone said you should do. You've followed the rules and put in your time right?
You've somehow paid your dues and now some nice girl owes you something for it.
She should admire you for being a nice guy. She should owe you something for being nicer than those other guys.
You think she can be bought by being nice to her and paying her compliments and following her around but
you are just driving her away.


The fact is, she doesn't owe you anything. Women will take everything you give them and leave you in the friend zone forever because a MAN is not just a nice guy and a nice guy is not necessarily a man.

I did a bit of looking and found a few names of men who explain this much better than I can.

One that seems to be able to get the concepts across is David Deangelo.

He's got some books and dvds out there.

There are others but he seems pretty down to earth.

I'm not pushing products or dating programs. I really don't think most people need it but America has way too many "Nice Guys" who are miserable because they don't understand what being a man means in the biological sense.

Do some looking and studying on it.
Stop blaming women.
Not to be rude, but the problem you have, is you.

reply to post by badgerprints


You're probably right, but I don't see where I'm not confident. I am, as far as dangerous, most people who know me know that I can out drink, out fight, out shoot, out drive, and out think most men. The only reason I may seem otherwise to you is because I'm honest. I was in the military for Christ's sake. I've been in situations a lot of people would have crapped themselves in.

I'm not trying to call you out or anything, but I think you're making a lot of incorrect assumptions about me.

Please don't take this the wrong way and get offended. But, have you ever heard the phrase "don't mistake kindness for weakness?" Most people around here don't mess with me, because they have learned that lesson, either in person or by proxy. I'm not trying to build myself up as a badass or anything, just putting the facts on the table.

Originally posted by dave_welch
reply to post by badgerprints

 

You're probably right, but I don't see where I'm not confident. I am, as far as dangerous, most people who know me know that I can out drink, out fight, out shoot, out drive, and out think most men. The only reason I may seem otherwise to you is because I'm honest. I was in the military for Christ's sake. I've been in situations a lot of people would have crapped themselves in.

I'm not trying to call you out or anything, but I think you're making a lot of incorrect assumptions about me.

Please don't take this the wrong way and get offended. But, have you ever heard the phrase "don't mistake kindness for weakness?" Most people around here don't mess with me, because they have learned that lesson, either in person or by proxy. I'm not trying to build myself up as a badass or anything, just putting the facts on the table.

That's irrelevant.
It isn't about other people being scared of you.
It's about how you affect a woman on an instinctual level.

Combat means diddly when it comes to confidence with women.

It's not how you feel about you.
It's how women feel about you.

To properly understand women do the following. Disregard what they say and instead take note of what they do. Don't ask them what they are looking for in a man, asking them what turns them on will reveal far more about their natures. Young women in particular who claim to be hoping for Prince Charming will very often leap into bed with the Dark Night.

Female nature is hypergamous and therefore is subject to socio-sexual status which can flow from a number of masculine traits, dominance being a particularly potent one. Your opening post is an exersize in railing against the sky being blue.