reply to post by dave_welch
You are thinking like a guy who was raised by the American media of the last 30 years.
That's not a fault. It's a trait you have learned.
You have been taught to be what a feminist society wants males to be.
This is basically the same as being mentally neutered.
The basic facts are these.
1. Women have specific traits in men that they are biologically ATTRACTED too. They cannot change this.
They may tell you that they like nice guys but that is NOT the same as being ATTRACTED to them.
2. Women don't have control over what attracts them. This is a fact. It is not education, class, morals or experience. It is biology. Don't think
that this is a sexist statement. Men have the same biological issues. They are just attracted to different traits. Women are aware of this. Pretty
much every woman is aware of this and understands it.
3. Many men in the US do not understand this system of attraction.
At least, not any more. Mainly because we have been fed a load of crap since the mid seventies. Men from other countries who haven't learned to act
like Alan Alda still "get it" because they haven't been taught otherwise.
American women will often talk about how attractive Italian men or Brazilian men or Spanish men or Greeks are. They say it's an animal attraction.
Magnetic. They also say that many of these men they are overly macho, controlling and treat women poorly but the attraction is still there. They are
still extremely attractive to women because they understand how to be that way naturally.
Women want a guy who is nice, but nice is at the bottom of the list and only absolutely necessary in a long term relationship.
The attraction issue is foremost in the problem of getting a woman.
Are you confident?
Not from reading your thread.
Do you have self respect?
Not from reading your thread.
From reading your thread it seems you have fallen for a woman who has no interest in you and followed her around like a puppy. She is involved with
someone who treats her poorly but she stays with him.
Because she is ATTRACTED to him. She is not attracted to you.
Women are attracted to confident guys.
Women are attracted to dangerous guys.
Women are attracted to a challenge.
Women are attracted to a sense of humor.
Women are attracted to man who shows dominance.
These things reach a woman on a basic biological level.
You can't change that.
You can learn to understand that and to make changes in your life so that you will become attractive to women.
As it stands, you are not attractive by your own admission.
(this is not looks, money or politeness)
I know you don't like all of this but that's ok.
It pisses you off but that's because "nice guy" is your comfort zone.
You have worked hard for years to be a nice guy. You've done what everyone said you should do. You've followed the rules and put in your time
You've somehow paid your dues and now some nice girl owes you something for it.
She should admire you for being a nice guy. She should owe you something for being nicer than those other guys.
You think she can be bought by being nice to her and paying her compliments and following her around but
you are just driving her away.
The fact is, she doesn't owe you anything. Women will take everything you give them and leave you in the friend zone forever because a MAN is not
just a nice guy and a nice guy is not necessarily a man.
I did a bit of looking and found a few names of men who explain this much better than I can.
One that seems to be able to get the concepts across is David Deangelo.
He's got some books and dvds out there.
There are others but he seems pretty down to earth.
I'm not pushing products or dating programs. I really don't think most people need it but America has way too many "Nice Guys" who are miserable
because they don't understand what being a man means in the biological sense.
Do some looking and studying on it.
Stop blaming women.
Not to be rude, but the problem you have, is you.