posted on Jun, 24 2013 @ 08:23 PM
I think all this nonsense is hilarious. First of all folks, I do not drive. If I did however, I do have a rule about what is, and what is not, a car.
A car is machine which has one purpose. It gets you from A to B, faster than you could walk, and you do not have to wait for a time table to match up
with your travel plans. Therefore, I will not need my car, when I finally buy one, to tell me where I am, where I am going, how to get there, where
the speed traps are, or indeed what the weather report is going to be for the day.
Even the oldest hunk of crap I could pick up for a few hundred pounds, even the most deplorable piece of tosh is going to have SOME capacity to pick
up local radio, and that is all a person with thier own independant brain and sense of direction needs. Early warning of crashes, and not much else.
Other than that, my rules are as follows:
1) If there is no chrome on the bumper, it probably isnt right to call it a car. These modern plastic things (I am twenty eight by the way: In before
old fart comments) with thier ridiculous over designed shapes, and build quality that would digust even the most lackwitted engineer, are not fit to
be called such.
2) If the pedal you press to accelerate, and the one you use to slow down are not directly attatched to the parts which make these things happen, then
you shouldnt be driving the damn thing. Toyota proved it by ballsing up thier Prius braking system.
3) In short, if you are driving a car that has anything like an engine management computer in it, then you are driving a 1960s space probe with
wheels, which might be all kinds of geeky fun, but unless you happen to have an electrical engineering degree, you are not going to be able to rebuild
it when it breaks down, which makes you a mug. No offense, but who buys something as important as a car, which they HAVE to pay some stranger to fix
when it goes wrong?
Not for me. When I buy a car, it will have chrome bumpers (fenders), and maybe running boards. It will have an engine that is made using the simplest
possible design, with the most readily available parts, and will consist of no part which is not user serviceable. It will have an engine bay which
can be accessed without having to resort to dealership only tools, or indeed the use of a palm pilot. It will be a simple mechanical device, which
does not have delusions of intellect and will be under my control, and no one elses.
It will more than likely be painted matt black. The closest to high technology I might get when I finally get some money together to learn to drive,
and get a car, is going to be the sound system. Lets face it, the combination of high chrome, matt black, and death metal is one that you just cannot