Originally posted by MarioOnTheFly
reply to post by Dianec
Sometimes instinct kicks in and one realizes that fighting back will bring about a poorer outcome
Please state a case where a man fighting off an unwanted sexual advance from a woman is a poorer outcome. And how can not fighting it off be a better
outcome ? Better for whom ?
This, I know, is not directed at me; however, I understand completely what this person is saying. Unfortunately, I'm about at the end of my
tolerance for this subject....my problem, not yours or anyone else's. The reason I'm replying to it at all is to say I wish I had the fortitude
required for the subject to write you a sort of screenplay as to how this could happen exactly that way. Maybe women have a sensitivity for this
necessarily and experientially a little more developed than man, but I am not a fan, either about blanket generalizations based on gender, race,
religion, etc. However, in this case, just going by your responses, I think you and I have fundamental disagreements about thte complexity and even
causes (motivations) for rape to begin with.
And this, I am primarilly directing toward our disagreement, respectful on both fronts, of the primary motivator, as you asked in your last response
to me. Yes, I agree with this only to a point:
Respectfully disagree....majority of rape cases are about sexual gratification, one can't achieve in a normal way. It is an ancient instinctive
drive...embedded in all of us. Those that reject it or are unable to practice normal sex, tend to deviate towards rapes, pedophilia and such. Power
trips that one gets from rape, that you speak off, are in my opinion much rarer cases...of course, there is always a power imbalance during any
rape...but is it the prime motivator for the rape ?
in your judgement this is the majority motivation. Definitely plays a part, no doubt about it. But I believe your last comment is more
often the prime motivator, not the other way around. and then what you mentioned in the beginning being secondary or more underlying. They are
linked inextricably, though. When someone cannot be gratified in a "normal," socially acceptable situation achieved by say, dating, there's going
to be attendant resentment toward the other gender, just in making it that much more difficult to have those needs addressed, much less all the more
complex reasons. It's an inherently narcissistic crime; therefore, the narcissist is not going to take responsibility for his/her lack of ability
socially to get the acceptance needed to achieve normal relations, acceptance that lead to sex consensually. Ergo, lots of anger to the point of rage
at the other gender, because it's their fault for not accepting so that needs can be satiated in the regular progression socially of dating, bonding
and willing to explore sexually whatever partners desire. It becomes obvious, I would think, then, to understand how this begins to translate to
rage, need to dominate, humiliate....and this becomes primary, and is about anger, agression, not really sex, at that point. The sex itself, is a
tool of a primary purpose to debase and take something fundamental from the victim, while dominating, demanding, and then if a biological orgasmic
response is illlicited, as well, even more satisfying for the rapist and devestating for the victim, as if to say: You are just like me and I am
making you see that, you who represent every woman or man whoever rejected my advances or judged me to be perverted or whatever in the past.
That's giving it my best shot at explaining my logic, anyway. Hope it clarifies for you why I think about it the way I do.