Originally posted by PurpleVortex
The solution to your problem is *Compassion*
Love your father UNconditionally, no MATTER what and you would win his love for you, unconditionally.
Very well said.
It sounds like your father may actually have very low self-esteem. I know that sounds contradictory to what you may think, since you perceive that he
is putting you down and trying to belittle you. The truth is, people who do this usually feel inferior, and feel that the only way to defend
themselves is to put others down. This is evidenced by him calling you things such as a know-it-all. Deep down, he probably does really feel like
you know more than him, and this makes him feel inferior. He erroneously feels that the only way to gain back his self-respect is to put down
Try to make him feel good about himself. When you do see something positive about him, however slight, compliment him. Try to avoid saying things
that put him down, even if you feel righteous about it. Bite your tongue, no matter how hard. When he puts you down, calmly tell him that things
like that make you feel bad, and that you love him, and know he loves you, and to please not make you feel bad. Try to be above the arguing. You
will gradually see him lifted up to not feel so defensive.
In controlling your own antagonism, even if you feel it build up from dealing with this, you will make yourself a better and stronger person. Just
keep reminding yourself of that when you feel tempted to argue back. Take a deep breath and tell yourself "no, I'm not doing this."
Of course, if ever gets physical, there is no reason to take that. Then it is time to leave. But it does not sound like he has resorted to that.
Remember - someone who is hurting inside often lashes out at others. It is not a reflection on you, but a reflection of his most inner self that you
are seeing. Try to be the strong one. Be the good mirror he sees, that will improve his own self-image. Remember to be compassionate, and let your
If you don't do this, your family will keep falling in a downward spiral that is hard to recover from.